Monday, May 22, 2006
Just Thinking
Its midnight now in Morocco and everyone else is fast asleep. In all truth I too am very tired but I just can’t seem to sleep. Do ever feel as though a lot has happened? Not necessarily in terms of major events but more in relation to emotions? For some reason I feel, or rather have been feeling like that for the last few days.

I don’t keep a journal, for two reasons. One, I guess I’m quite lazy and two, I can’t directly write my feelings down, for, alas I’m a sifter. I find that I must circulate my thoughts through my mind before I can even TRY to put them on paper. I’m afraid I’m no Mia Thermopolis, or any other character either fiction or non that can carry a coiled notebook wherever and simply jot down my feelings. However, I really wish that I was more ambitious and less of a sifter because so many things are forgotten. I absorb a lot of what I see (i.e. memories) then I lock it up safely in some deep abyss of what is my mind. The problem however, is that when I’m ready to retrieve those wonderful, and even eloquently rehearsed (yes, I actually write journal entries in my head then lock them away) memories it is as though I’ve forgotten the combination to the safe. It’s a pity really because I have some pretty interesting things locked away.

Anyway today on our four hour long drive from my father’s hometown to my uncle’s place in the city I sort of had some time to reflect upon my thoughts or emotions. Before we began our journey from Immouzzer Khandar (father’s hometown) to Casablanca (big city) my uncle and dad decided to head down to Fez which is the oldest city in Morocco (and is conveniently situated only thirty minutes from Immouzzer) so I decided to go along.

As I sat in the car en route to Fez, some of the most beautiful scenery I’ve seen passed before my eyes. Immouzzer Khandar is a village situated in the middle atlas region of Morocco, therefore it has a lush mountainous beauty. However, what I find so wonderful, Subhana’Allah is how very diverse mountains and their regions are around the world. In Morocco when one thinks mountains they don’t imagine the Rockies with a wealth of towering firs or skiing (I had to add that one), for it is anything but. As one descends from the village down its long winding roads, for as far as the eye can see masterfully spread across the land are lush, green farms. Apple orchards decorated with creamy white flowers, fields of red poppies and fresh lavender, almond or walnut trees with little buds on each branch, crops of barley, hundreds of grazing sheep, and an ocean of fertile red soil.

The middle atlas is somewhat (perhaps) like the Canadian shield with all the rocky areas. It seems as one travels across this part of the country that rocks sprout earnestly from the earth, for they truly are a part of landscape.

As we continue other little things appear, such as the large, stubby or lean cacti border on lands separating one families from the others. Or as we progress the sea of olive groves, or large trees that I’ve never before seen but have purple flowers that sprout everywhere forming a beautiful, lavender colored tree canopy. Or the date trees that condense in one area then ease off only to bunch up again.

The seen is breath taking and truly pulls at my heart, for all I can seem to think are these two things:

One, Subhana’Allah for He is the most gifted and talented artist, seriously it is from He that all imagery, color, and abstract form derives from. Subhana’Allah!

Two, that this is a country I would love to reveal to the one I marry (if of course he isn’t Moroccan) for it is a place I hold dear to myself and would love to share with another. To show the beauty, almost like a gift.

If I was a more talented photographer I would have at least over a thousand pictures right now, but alas I am born in to a family who never really were the kind to “snap, and say cheese” so getting in to a habit in which I carry with me everywhere a digital camera is hard to create. I’m trying, but thus far have been failing miserably.

Everywhere one is, be it Canada, the USA, Morocco, France, anywhere, one will find so much beauty to behold. I don’t mean architectural wonders, but rather the beauty that many of us probably take for granted. Life is very, go, go, go, and with just cause (more or less), but does one really ever stop and just look around. Subhana’Allah, there is so much beauty, so much to discover, to behold. Allah has not been unjust with us, for even in a world that seems so cold and unfeeling He has given us warmth, and splendor.

I don’t know, maybe I’m a little “coo coo” for some of you, but I really believe that there is so much that is given to us that we just sometimes seem to take for granted or overlook. Like the sun, or the moon, the stars and the clouds, all created with such distinct reasons of affaire and yet so picturesque at the same time.

I thought about a lot of things on that four hour drive to my uncle’s place. Too many things to go in to here, but that’s neither here nor there.

One thing we did was stop for Maghrib prayer at the gas station (they have places to pray at each gas station), and as we continued on our journey I was taken by thoughts of another nature.

We live in a world that seems so corrupt and immoral at times. All around us, in this global society many people seem lost, or cold, for there is no one nation that can truly boast being good, God fearing people, that are not without temptations or immorality. None.

So, what are we to do when we have settled down and began our families? When we’ve had children? We can’t merely lock them up, and hide them from society, now can we? Exactly, so this had me appreciating how truly important it is for us, the future mommies and daddies to hold true to our convictions and faith. It’s no piece of cake, but if our children are in a world so lost then they should at least be able to come home to a place where they can be set right.

I don’t know, to me it seems that if our children have the correct morals and sense of right taught to them that they may have a better chance of surviving. I know that one can’t always blame the parents for how their children turn out, but I think that they are a big part of the problem. We owe it not only to ourselves to stay strong and steadfast but also to the future generations, to our children.

I’m nowhere near perfect, in that I have so much to build upon, but we are not all without our trials, our tests. I mean, we all have to face a lot of the same temptations, right? We all are around alcohol, guys/girls, clubs, casino’s, strip clubs, and so on, so we all are tempted (possibly) but it’s being able to say “look, no thank you” that’s the hard part. I don’t condemn anyone for how they act (most of the time, sometimes they really are just cruel, ugly, cold people); I can’t do so in all honesty without first looking at myself. Instead of throwing stones, work on yourself so that when your children arrive (Insha’Allah) you can teach them, and then they can teach theirs, and so on.

The same can be said when it comes to marriage. I mean, raising children is a two people job, so having a good person is important. The thing I’ve found with a lot of men and women in Morocco (and everywhere) is that they seem to care a lot about the size of ones purse/wallet. Sure being financially stable is important but, please, give me a break, there’s more important things out there. I don’t know, I can’t say for sure why people do what they do.

Does this make any sense? I don’t know if it does but it is how I’ve been feeling lately.

Ok I think that’s enough for one day, I have to go study. I sort dosed off last night while I was writing this so, though I started at midnight I ended at eleven in the morning.

Take care and till next time insha’Allah.

~Pink Gerbera~


Wednesday, May 17, 2006
salam from morocco
Salam,

I’m still in Morocco and do not want to go home. I’m missing it already. I’m missing my family, the athan that announces each prayer so beautifully, the markets, the food, the mixes of extremes and my family.

If anything this trip has made me realize how lonely our life in Canada is. All of my relatives live here, in Morocco while we (my direct family and I) live in Canada so we are quite separated and therefore only get to see each other every few years, but Alhmaduillah for Allah is so kind with blessing us with even those meetings.

But being positive is important, so I’ll make the most of these last weeks and I’ll make the most of my return insha’Allah!

Before I came to Morocco I started wearing hijab (Alhamduillah), so that I would have a chance to get used to it. Honestly? I love it! I’ve wanted to wear it for a long time, and I finally took the plunge. Lots of people may wonder why I hadn’t done so sooner. Well, for me it was definitely a challenge that I had to overcome. I was too weak and worried about others and what others would think when really I should have worried only of what Allah s.w.t thinks.

I love Allah very much, and I want to make Him happy. Insha’Allah, I pray that I do, or that I can strive too.

This trip has made me realize a few things, like how much I still have to learn. Honestly, I should have no time for TV or petty books when there is a whole world of knowledge to unlock and discover. Islamic studies, general studies, everything!

I’ve been hearing a lot lately about how Muslims worry to much about getting other degrees and what not, when they should be worrying about expanding their knowledge of Islam. True? False?

I say, the answer lies somewhere in between. Everything we do is a form of worship IF we do it with the right intentions. I mean, learning about the components of the human anatomy and how things work is a form of worship in ways. I mean, Subhana’Allah, just look how wonderful and intricate Allah’s s.w.t creations are! Subhanan’Allah! He is truly magnificent.

Learning about the planets, the universe, agriculture, history, and just everything else is a way of learning and appreciating Allah and His gifts and Greatness!

Like for example, there is a doctor in Saudia (don’t quote me on where he’s from but I think he’s from somewhere in the emirates) who discovered a way of healing glaucoma. He was studying Surrah Yusuf profusely because he thought that it was interesting how when Yacoub (aleyhi salam) was blind in his old age, Yusuf (aleyhi salam) took the shirt from his sweaty body and told his brother to put it on Yacoub’s face and when he did, his sight returned, so the doctor thought that this must mean something.

So the doctor after reading that Ayat went to research the effectiveness of sweat on the eyes, what he discovered was that it could cure glaucoma. Subhana’Allah! Look, how the answers are given to us. (That’s a shortened version of the story, forgive it’s briefness.)

However, this doctor would not have been able to come up with this unless he first had knowledge of the human body, and science. Right? I mean, Allah s.w.t give us this wonderful book that is so full of answers but the only way to accurately take from them is if we also have knowledge of the world He has created around us.

Everything in the end comes down to intentions. So, if you’re doing something solely for material gain and life in this world then yes you’re definitely in the wrong BUT if your intentions are pure because you want to truly please Allah s.w.t then the best of luck.

In other news…

I got the six week internship at the hospital! Alhamduillah, for truly this could not have been done without Allah s.w.t allowing it to happen.

Take care and insha’Allah I’ll update again with pictures when I probably come back.

~Pink Gerbera~

P.S. If I haven’t e-mailed you, I apologize, in all honesty I’m a horrible correspondent. Astighfurillah.


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