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I don't know what to say these days. There's a whole lot of things I want to say, but that I just don't feel like revealing. I come home, and the whole night my head is buzzing, but then I approach my computer and I just don't feel like sharing.

Even now, as I type I don't know what I'll write. I don't know what to say next. I think I'm feeling quite pessimistic. I'm happy, sort of, I always try to be happy, but I just don't like myself today. I didn't like myself yesterday either.

I'm not looking for sympathy, because I don't deserve it, nor do I need it. I don't know if I want it either, because then I just feel worse.

Do you ever wake up and just look at yourself thinking "what the hell am I doing with myself?"

Yeah, you probably have. I think everyone does at some point or another, it's human, I hope. I think. I'm sure.

You know what, I think I've written about this already a long while back.

The fact is, I know what's wrong, I'm just to slow to do anything about it. To slow, and truth be told, to lazy, and I know I'll pay for it. I'll pay for it dearly. That's how I feel. That's what I see.

I'm a hypocrit, and now you all know.

Goodnight and Take care.

~Pink Gerbera~