I’m one of those people who enjoys going to the movies. I know, what the heck is the world coming to? Why are we wasting both time and money just to see some moving pictures with narration?
Oh those aren’t the movies you watch? Hah, you have no idea what you’re missing out on then, apparently they’re all the rage in Timbuktu.
Anyway, this time around I humbled myself and went to watch the type of movies regular, non-Timbuktu citizens watch.
What I don’t get is why we –by that I mean me- always have to sit either behind or in front of total morons. Morons, should never leave their proper ecosystems (the zoo), and they should really not travel in groups because that’s just plain torture for the rest of us mammals. Seriously, were the zoo guards indulging on their secret stashes of moonshine again?
Let’s continue…
We sit; I wait for the movie to start. All that awesome, pent up energy is circulating through my veins. I have the popcorn, I have the pop, and I have the very important loves of my life, aka MILKDUDS! I’m ready for this show to get on the road. I even put my coat on my lap -which if you’re a seasoned movie go-er like myself, you should know this is a big no, no, because it gets bloody chilly in the theater. Or it might be I’m a wussy?
Yes, so anyways, we were waiting for the movie to begin and the aforementioned morons decided to sit directly behind us. Now I don’t usually mind if people want to sit behind us, heck go right ahead you paid too after all. However what I do hate is when Tarzan forgets that he left the jungle and is now in what we like to call, civilization (omg, that was so 1700’s colonizing missionary of me).
Please people, I really could give two craps for your commentary throughout the movie I’m watching. I’m really quite capable of coming up with my own thoughts on the movie, and the previews.
See, these people sit behind you and then to be really cool they say things like “That wasn’t even funny”, you know, when everyone else is laughing.
I really just want to turn in my seat and give him a banana all the while saying “Goood Tarzan, you made an awesome remark that totally set you apart from the rest of us drones who laugh at things. Oh, what’s that, you can’t understand what is coming out of my mouth? How about, Tarzan shut-up now…good boy.”
But, you know, that would just distract everyone else who is trying to enjoy the movie. So I put up with it, and that’s just the previews.
Honestly, if you want a pat on the shoulder for your oh-so-original burn, I’m sure I can find someone to give you one, along with a new burn and while we’re at it, brain –or is that just asking for a miracle?
Anyway the guy kept giving his two cents through out the movie like:
Moron: “What a beeyotch man.”
My Awesomeness (my mind): “really, you think so? Gosh, that must mean she did a good job with her acting skillz then. rock on!”
Moron: “haha that was actually a good joke.”
My Awesomeness (my mind): “Oh-My-God, so you mean, we can like laugh now? Thanks man, you rock!”
Moron: “What a loser.”
My Awesomeness (my mind): “Gold star. You rock!”
Basically he kept talking and I just kept saying you rock, it helped.
The moral of this story is that if you go to the theaters keep in mind that even though in your mind you’re the freaking King of Cool, it doesn’t mean everyone agrees. Not everyone thinks your oh-so-cool burns are oh-so-cool, in fact they make me just want to jump off a bridge because all you did was take a use-to-be-cool quote from some funny thing you saw on TV and completely, utterly, butchered it. Again, you rock.
Other than that, it was a good movie; I’ll just remember to equip myself with gold stars and bananas next time.
Salam
Oh those aren’t the movies you watch? Hah, you have no idea what you’re missing out on then, apparently they’re all the rage in Timbuktu.
Anyway, this time around I humbled myself and went to watch the type of movies regular, non-Timbuktu citizens watch.
What I don’t get is why we –by that I mean me- always have to sit either behind or in front of total morons. Morons, should never leave their proper ecosystems (the zoo), and they should really not travel in groups because that’s just plain torture for the rest of us mammals. Seriously, were the zoo guards indulging on their secret stashes of moonshine again?
Let’s continue…
We sit; I wait for the movie to start. All that awesome, pent up energy is circulating through my veins. I have the popcorn, I have the pop, and I have the very important loves of my life, aka MILKDUDS! I’m ready for this show to get on the road. I even put my coat on my lap -which if you’re a seasoned movie go-er like myself, you should know this is a big no, no, because it gets bloody chilly in the theater. Or it might be I’m a wussy?
Yes, so anyways, we were waiting for the movie to begin and the aforementioned morons decided to sit directly behind us. Now I don’t usually mind if people want to sit behind us, heck go right ahead you paid too after all. However what I do hate is when Tarzan forgets that he left the jungle and is now in what we like to call, civilization (omg, that was so 1700’s colonizing missionary of me).
Please people, I really could give two craps for your commentary throughout the movie I’m watching. I’m really quite capable of coming up with my own thoughts on the movie, and the previews.
See, these people sit behind you and then to be really cool they say things like “That wasn’t even funny”, you know, when everyone else is laughing.
I really just want to turn in my seat and give him a banana all the while saying “Goood Tarzan, you made an awesome remark that totally set you apart from the rest of us drones who laugh at things. Oh, what’s that, you can’t understand what is coming out of my mouth? How about, Tarzan shut-up now…good boy.”
But, you know, that would just distract everyone else who is trying to enjoy the movie. So I put up with it, and that’s just the previews.
Honestly, if you want a pat on the shoulder for your oh-so-original burn, I’m sure I can find someone to give you one, along with a new burn and while we’re at it, brain –or is that just asking for a miracle?
Anyway the guy kept giving his two cents through out the movie like:
Moron: “What a beeyotch man.”
My Awesomeness (my mind): “really, you think so? Gosh, that must mean she did a good job with her acting skillz then. rock on!”
Moron: “haha that was actually a good joke.”
My Awesomeness (my mind): “Oh-My-God, so you mean, we can like laugh now? Thanks man, you rock!”
Moron: “What a loser.”
My Awesomeness (my mind): “Gold star. You rock!”
Basically he kept talking and I just kept saying you rock, it helped.
The moral of this story is that if you go to the theaters keep in mind that even though in your mind you’re the freaking King of Cool, it doesn’t mean everyone agrees. Not everyone thinks your oh-so-cool burns are oh-so-cool, in fact they make me just want to jump off a bridge because all you did was take a use-to-be-cool quote from some funny thing you saw on TV and completely, utterly, butchered it. Again, you rock.
Other than that, it was a good movie; I’ll just remember to equip myself with gold stars and bananas next time.
Salam
3 Comments:
Lol, you're the man sister. Um, I mean, the woman :P.
What movie by the way?
Hey, whadda ya know, it's that crazy taka guy. lol.
It was "Pursuit of Happyness" by the way.
LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOL!!!!
I know exactly what you mean. Masha'Allah you can actually control yourself. I, well, I just turn around and politely tell them, "Shut the hell up, we don't care!!"
lol.
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