Ramadan

Assalamu Alaykum,

Ramadan Mubarak to everyone!

It's been a while...Wouldn't you agree? -Don't worry I can't see you shaking your head anyway...but I sense that you all agree-

The thing is, that whenever I come on here I never EVER know what to write. Honestly. Me. Never. It's a travesty especially since I consider myself someone who "likes to write". That's not the sad part, the sad part is that I always have REALLY great -well that might be an exaggeration- things to write about. For example...

*Doing the dishes*

da da da da ...Oh HAHAHAHA that might be interesting to write about. Awesome!!!! Don't forget.

*Five Hours Later While Sitting At Computer*

................................................

See what I mean. So I am sitting there in front of the pretty computer screen and all I can think of is..........

.......nothing!

NOTHING. NOTHING. NOTHING!

So after finding enough time to actually sit down for longer then five minutes I have decided that I may actually have a little something to write about.

Ramadan. It is here. FINALLY! And am I ever excited.

Except that now I need some goals. So while I was browsing through my dear twins blog and saw her "Ramadan Goals" list I thought to myself....

"You really you WRITE down your goals...you know so you DON'T FORGET THEM!!!!"

And so I am stealing.

Actually scratch that -I hate the word stealing- rather I am BORROWING her idea (and what a wonderful idea that was ;) ).

So I have a list, and well actually have always sort of had a list but to true to my style had forgotten it half way through the day. Therefore I cleared the useless "used" up space in my head and decided to lodge this VERY important list in to it so that I wouldn't forget it when I finally found the time to sit down and post it.

1. Spend more time thinking about how I can improve my emaan.

- Spending less time watching tv, or on the net

- Spending more time reading up on Islam

2. Learning at least 2 short surahs'

- learning one solidly will take a least a week where I am comfortable in my prayer Insha'Allah

3. Finishing the Qur'aan

- this one will take some time BUT I REALLY want to at least finish it ONCE insha'Allah

4. Do more nice things for people

- not complaining, being more grateful for everything and everyone in my life, and trying harder to leave some of the useless habits i have.

I have more goals but they are more life time goals. I am scared however because I always feel that I'll never even reach them a bit. It seems at times that I might see the end of the tunnel and I may leave all those things that drage me down. But then the next thing I know, I am fall back two inches.

There is a place where I want to be. A place with myself where I hope to be. Where I crave to be.

I want to be close to Allah. To just relax and be close to him. To know that I have truly done all I can. I love Allah, but I want to show it more. I know what I can be. I know what I want to be. And insha'Allah one day I'll be there.

Allah knows I am human, and that we allll make mistakes, but I wish I could be stronger and not make as many mistakes! However, I should utilize my time more wisely and so my ultimate goal for this Ramadan is to learn to discipline myself in scheduling my day. To be able to say this is what time I have for leisure...this is what I'll do with it. But also to come out thinking that I at least did my best and that Insha'Allah I still have time to improve.

So on that final note, may you all have a blessed Ramadan, and may you all full fill your goals.

Till next time...adieu.

Sincerely,

~the pink gerbera~