The Pink Gerbera

Hello

2007-02-14T10:59:00.000-08:00

Salam

I honestly have no idea what to write. But I did want to drop a line. SO hello, and now, um, goodbye.

I hate valentines day. Baaaaaaaaahumbug!

To Those Who It May Concern

2007-01-30T23:07:00.000-08:00

Salam

I’m on this quest you see. This quest of becoming a better, more complete person. A better muslim, in essence. But then that’s a life long endeavor, isn’t it?

Here’s the thing, however, in trying to do so I’ve discovered that I’m very disappointed in myself. Not in the sense that I’m stupid enough to believe that I can wake up and be an insta-mutmin, but in that I’m really not that good of a person. There are just certain things about me that are horrible, and black. They stain my heart and keep me away from being a pure and complete person. Keep in mind, I’m not striving for perfection.

What goes around, comes around.

It’s probably true, which makes me seriously wonder if by the end of my time if I’ll have any friends left. You see, I’m really superb at making friends; I’m horrible though at keeping them. And so because I’m good at making them, they tend to add up and then…well, and then I can’t keep up and I just end up loosing touch with people who have been there a lot for me. I have lost touch with a lot of my very close, and important friends.

My twin, for example. I haven’t spoken to her in such a long time, and equally I haven’t seen her or her beautiful daughter in at least a good six months…save for perhaps a short five minute visit in which we exchanged gifts (which were awesome by the way). Since then we haven’t seen much of each other. Like I said, I can easily get side tracked and then pow…I feel like crap, but there are only so many times I can apologize for being a shit head before it doesn’t matter to them anyway. Until it’s just words to them.

“Oh, she always does that.”

And I do. See I know that. And they may not say anything, but I know they’re disappointed in me.

My cubanita is another chica I’ve lost constant contact with. Which again, really sucks because well…I love talking to her and chatting. She’s been there for so long. And I suck at e-mails, I am probably to worst e-mail contact person in the world, if you get an e-mail appreciate it because I do them but rarely.

The girl that rhymes with banana. I’m sorry, I know I’ve been “ugh” lately but well I tried explaining it. I can’t anymore, I’m sorry. Words are words, but they’re sincere. Just be patient with me, I’m a push over. And “The one who will not be mentioned by name on this blog” shouldn’t be an excuse.

The one who must not be mentioned…you have know idea. My intentions are and will remain pure. I’m not a ditcher…though I doubt you care.

But more then anything to the three first mentioned, I’ve known you the longest and so I feel worse about you because you deserve someone who will stick by your side and not be side tracked and feeling like they’re being pulled in a million directions.

I love you, and I just wanted you to know that.

Take care.

Skinny Jeans Have Led To An Influx of Nightmares

2006-12-28T11:28:00.000-08:00

Question: what’s the deal with these skinny jeans? I mean, really, what’s this world coming to?

First we have war, which is the “in” thing right now. Yes, you read right, tens of thousands of people dieing needlessly is just as chic as buying a new pair of skinny jeans. Why People magazine hasn’t rated it as one of its top ten “most in” things at the moment is still a puzzle in my mind.

Now war is bad, I mean war is just plain old horrifying but even though that haunts my dreams a new thing has decided to creep in along with it; the fact that guys are wearing a pair of pants that most women shouldn’t even dream of wearing. So that and war is completely cutting in to my sleep time, which really gets me mad, and has therefore led me to write a darn rant on the whole issue; which trust me is not a good thing for either of us.

In case you’re a guy and don’t know what skinny jeans are I took the liberty of employing my awesome artistic skills and drew you all a picture. Now you can get a better idea of just exactly I’m going on about.

The Skinny Jean:

There you have it –can you believe some critics have compared my work to such artists as Van Gough? I was totally flattered, but please, the guy killed himself so at least compare me to Monet! - the tight, no air, accentuates fat thighs, possibility of ripping when you bend, tacky, way to bring back the eighties jeans.

They really look like that too, and I added the red pumps because oh-my-God, red is so the new white!

Anywho…

Right, so now you take those jeans, and you slap them on a guy and what do you get? Well chip, you get the epitome of gay. Honestly, I don't even think they sell skinny jeans in the mens department which means two things: 1) You shop in the womens department and 2) you're a total drag queen, so hot my friend.

Seriously, what guy does that to themselves? And please, I’m quite sure not everyone person that passes by wants to see your thighs or package made so damn obvious, especially if you don’t look like Hiritik Roshan! There are some things best left to the imagination –though why I would like to imagine some guys thighs hasn’t be made clear to me as of yet. I’ll get back to you when I’m more certain- kind of like High School Musical…why the hell did that movie win any awards, was I the only one not on crack when I watched it on the Disney channel? I get the fact that it’s a musical and all, but seriously, it made me want to give up on life right then and there.

Back to the jeans…

So I really get the whole “individualization” of society, or rather, of the youth. I mean, that’s a deep and profound movement people.

“Say no to conformity! Say no to good grades! Say no to chilling on a Friday night just watching a movie, and hellllllllllo to our little friend the joint. Oh and say no to conformity…did I say that already? I don’t remember because I’m sooo high right now.”

I mean, heck yeah, look at what a lot of youth stand for. It’s totally about being your own person and not following along like everyone else. Make your own style.

You want to be deep, mournful, and gothic. Dude, then do your thing, just don’t forget you have to be serious and remember you’re being an individual. Go for the gold, you’re a tortured artist.

You want to go all hardcore x-games maniac or just the plain old Tony Hawk thing? Then don’t forget that you have to be high, so be extra cool and carry a joint with you –can we say automatic friend magnet? - also remember you can’t get a hair cut for the next year, because then you just aren’t down like all them other cool x-gamers –and naturally you want to give off this air that you don’t give a flying hoot about what people say. You want to be all zen, like those Californian surfer dudes.

You want to be punk? Then the skinny jeans apply to you. You’re in to all that music that others don’t have the common courtesy to remember, like The Ramones or Guns and Roses. You my friend are what keep the music alive! However why you want to suffocate your jewels is beyond me. Hey, who am I to judge, it’s all about being an individual after all.

You don’t conform to what everyone else does; you do your own thing…sort of like everyone else, but not really because you got the neon pink Vaans while I just follow along blindly and buy Puma’s.

Nonetheless, I see the guys in the skinny jeans, being all individual and stuff like that, and I just can’t help but wonder: Why? Seriously man, what’s wrong with regular jeans? Oh, wait, sorry forgot am I breeching the non-conformist act.

Hey what ever does it for you; I’m not going to tell you to take them off. But come on, most women shouldn’t even be wearing them (I’m not being a shape-ist I’m being a realist) and you’re going around like you still have all your marbles –you know the ones that weed hasn’t yet destroyed.

I just can’t help but wonder if when you’re older and living at Louis’s Motel that you’ll look back on today and think: “What the hell was I thinking?” After which you’ll forget because you just saw a magical bunny run passed your window and you have to go follow him “because he’s late”, word of advice, don’t follow the pretty bunny down the hole.

Salam

Great

2006-12-27T22:23:00.000-08:00

Another conflict. Some more deaths.

That's exactly what we freaking need! That's exactly what this world is missing. Job well done. Bravo.

Something more the growing generations can turn to.

That stupid blood stained knife just keeps moving down the line; east to west, north to south, it sees no color, it sees no age.

Great

Salam

GOLD STAR!

2006-12-26T22:09:00.000-08:00

I’m one of those people who enjoys going to the movies. I know, what the heck is the world coming to? Why are we wasting both time and money just to see some moving pictures with narration?

Oh those aren’t the movies you watch? Hah, you have no idea what you’re missing out on then, apparently they’re all the rage in Timbuktu.

Anyway, this time around I humbled myself and went to watch the type of movies regular, non-Timbuktu citizens watch.

What I don’t get is why we –by that I mean me- always have to sit either behind or in front of total morons. Morons, should never leave their proper ecosystems (the zoo), and they should really not travel in groups because that’s just plain torture for the rest of us mammals. Seriously, were the zoo guards indulging on their secret stashes of moonshine again?

Let’s continue…

We sit; I wait for the movie to start. All that awesome, pent up energy is circulating through my veins. I have the popcorn, I have the pop, and I have the very important loves of my life, aka MILKDUDS! I’m ready for this show to get on the road. I even put my coat on my lap -which if you’re a seasoned movie go-er like myself, you should know this is a big no, no, because it gets bloody chilly in the theater. Or it might be I’m a wussy?

Yes, so anyways, we were waiting for the movie to begin and the aforementioned morons decided to sit directly behind us. Now I don’t usually mind if people want to sit behind us, heck go right ahead you paid too after all. However what I do hate is when Tarzan forgets that he left the jungle and is now in what we like to call, civilization (omg, that was so 1700’s colonizing missionary of me).

Please people, I really could give two craps for your commentary throughout the movie I’m watching. I’m really quite capable of coming up with my own thoughts on the movie, and the previews.

See, these people sit behind you and then to be really cool they say things like “That wasn’t even funny”, you know, when everyone else is laughing.

I really just want to turn in my seat and give him a banana all the while saying “Goood Tarzan, you made an awesome remark that totally set you apart from the rest of us drones who laugh at things. Oh, what’s that, you can’t understand what is coming out of my mouth? How about, Tarzan shut-up now…good boy.”

But, you know, that would just distract everyone else who is trying to enjoy the movie. So I put up with it, and that’s just the previews.

Honestly, if you want a pat on the shoulder for your oh-so-original burn, I’m sure I can find someone to give you one, along with a new burn and while we’re at it, brain –or is that just asking for a miracle?

Anyway the guy kept giving his two cents through out the movie like:

Moron: “What a beeyotch man.”
My Awesomeness (my mind): “really, you think so? Gosh, that must mean she did a good job with her acting skillz then. rock on!”

Moron: “haha that was actually a good joke.”

My Awesomeness (my mind): “Oh-My-God, so you mean, we can like laugh now? Thanks man, you rock!”

Moron: “What a loser.”

My Awesomeness (my mind): “Gold star. You rock!”

Basically he kept talking and I just kept saying you rock, it helped.

The moral of this story is that if you go to the theaters keep in mind that even though in your mind you’re the freaking King of Cool, it doesn’t mean everyone agrees. Not everyone thinks your oh-so-cool burns are oh-so-cool, in fact they make me just want to jump off a bridge because all you did was take a use-to-be-cool quote from some funny thing you saw on TV and completely, utterly, butchered it. Again, you rock.

Other than that, it was a good movie; I’ll just remember to equip myself with gold stars and bananas next time.

Salam

And then...It was time to shut up

2006-12-20T14:57:00.000-08:00

A novelist. A bestseller novelist.

Either way I’ve always had this little dream that one day I’ll write a book. You know, kind of like I thought one day I’d be a world renowned gymnast (even though I could never do a cartwheel to save my life…or a somersault for that matter). Yes, much like that disillusioned dream, I have also wanted to write a book. Odd, isn’t it?

Well if you still believe in me, I’m truly flattered but I’d suggest your hope be placed in more sure things; like Martha Sterwart stocks.

Why you ask? Why would such a talented individual as myself ask you to turn away and shun my hopeless fantasies?

Well, shucks, I guess you’ve twisted my arm enough and that now I must let you in on the secret. On the very reason as to why I won’t aspire to be the next Meg Cabot, or Dan Brown –I won’t even touch Austen, Dickens, or Shakespeare because trust me in a hundred years from now, people will not be reading a Cabot or Brown book.

Anyway, onwards to the reason.

Well, really it’s quite an easy, logical reason. If you’ve ever known me long enough to have the privilege of hearing me recount a story, or summarize a novel or film, you’ll know that the last thing I should aspire to be is a “story teller” a.k.a author.

I just don’t have it folks; that suave way of hooking you with my wowing methods of retelling a specific event that has taken place in my quite ordinary life. Even if at the moment the story was bloody hilarious to me, myself, and I. In my mind, some of the most ridiculous things are funny, however at times I seem to forget that you and I may not share the same awesome wavelength, which inherently means we will also not find the same odd thing funny.

Yet, I still fail to listen to the 23 voices of reason in my head, which sadly all at once yell “PLEASE FOR THE LOVE OF ALLAH DON’T TELL THEM THAT STORY!” Seriously, they yell! And not only does it leave that annoying ringing in your ears –as if you had just stupidly decided to sit by the speakers while Mr. T was giving a speech- but your head hurts too; in spite of all that you still ignore their warnings and go ahead and tell the story.

Why? It could be that you just had a whole pack of sour patch kids causing the sugar to boost your blood sugar which boosts your energy which oddly boosts your confidence (naturally I would not know this; I’m just giving you an educated guess). Or you may have just smacked yourself in the face, when you blindly walked in to the sign in the library that reads “This is a quiet place” (again this has never happened to me, but I know a friend of a friend.) Or, you might be so wigged out by "the whole three days till your final, the final that will define whether or not you get in to the program you want to get in to" that eventually that fuse that’s holding everything together decides to blow on you, and there goes all reasonable and logical thought processes (again, not me).

Anyway, whatever your reason, you still decide to go ahead and tell the story. Hey, I applaud your bravery (a.k.a I applaud the stupid side of me. Way to go!).

So you tell the story and one of three things takes place:

1) You’re laughing so hard at the pictures running through your mind, that your audience hasn’t the faintest idea what the heck you’re choking about. And once you get to the end and they don’t get it, you also begin to wonder what the HECK you were laughing so hard about. In other words, it really wasn’t funny and now you’ve totally shamed yourself as well as taken away any shred of respect they’ve just held for you and your state of mind.

If this happens, the ONLY thing you can do to save face is steel your spine, while saying “So yeah, did any of you see what happened in Iraq yesterday?” Steering the attention away from you on to way more important and serious issues always helps. They’ll merely forget about your stupidity because they’re all so peeved about the current world issues.

So way to go, you not only successfully placed your story telling methods on the chopping block but you also successfully depressed everyone. Gold Star!

2) The other scenario is that while you’re telling the story you completely butcher it by forgetting certain, pivotal parts of the story. These parts are always the fine lines that either make or break the story. And trust me, unless you’re a skilled story teller, you WILL forget these parts.

If this happens…well, I’ll be honest you’re screwed. Why? Because, YOU FORGOT WHAT MADE THE STORY A STORY. What are you going to do? Make something up? You can’t, they’ll know, because all of a sudden your story goes from this:

“So we were standing in line waiting to get our non-fat, no sugar, lactose free, chai lattes when all of a sudden this guy is like ‘So why the hell is there always such a stinking long line up?’”
At this point you’re looking at peoples faces (your audience) and nobody is smiling, actually everyone at this point is waiting for you to get to the climax.
You realize that there was no story, that in fact all you did was turn to the guy and gave him other coffee options. How is this a) funny, or b) thrilling. So instead you do this:

“‘So why the hell is there always such a stinking long line up?’ And then he pulled out a 22 and held it in the air, yelling at everyone to move out of the way. But I sooo wouldn’t let him cut in front of me. I mean, I’d been waiting a whole ten minutes by then, and if I have to wait for a healthy, chai fix then so should he. Seriously! So I looked him right in the eyes and I folded my arms over my chest and told him that he’d have to wait. When he threatened to blow my stupid head off, I took my taser gun out and shocked him! Then I kicked him in the balls, and everyone was cheering. And I just looked at them and was like ‘Aww, thanks. No one should cut in line, so stand up to bullies!’”

Trust me; people will know you’re lying between your gapped teeth. Don’t ask me how, they just can tell. They can see right through you, and in to your lying soul. It’s rather creepy actually. So don’t lie. It’s a sin anyway.

3) Lastly, if you are unable to summarize a story you will surely fail. No one will ever want to sit with you, or speak with you again. Things will be thrown at you; ANYTHING will be thrown at you. Sharp things even. Basically if you totally stink at paraphrasing, or summarizing just do us all a favor and never tell a story.

This is advice I give myself because I am one of those people. I can take a trip to the supermarket to get, I don’t know, tomatoes, and turn it in to an hour long rant about how retarded it is that they don’t have more cashiers on hand. Or, I’ll tell you EVERYTHING that happened while I was buying to the tomatoes.

“You see, I went in to the supermarket and the doors! Oh-my-gosh the doors, they just open for you. Isn’t that so cool? It’s like they can sense you or something! Anyway then I took a flyer, Heinz ketchup was on for 2.50$ a bottle. That’s such a bargain don’t you think? Then I took a green basket, because a cart is way to big to just get tomatoes. Then I saw that they had my favorite brand of shampoo on sale. I was so ecstatic..”

By this point half of my audience has ditched. In fact, I can see them running like hell and ducking behind book shelves. But like the smart person I am, I continue. Even though my good friends who’ll always stick by my side are staring in to space, or wearing the most “omg, get me the hell out of here” looks.

So you see this is how I’ve come to the clever and quite mature conclusion that I am simply not cut out for the world of novel writing. I’m not cut out for the world of telling stories, period.

I think this long update which really had no relevance is quite the example of my poor story telling skills.

I’m glad however that I could prove my point, and therefore persuade you to put your hope in other aspiring novelists.

The kind, who, you know, can actually do a cartwheel.

Salam

Big People School

2006-12-06T07:57:00.000-08:00

So, technically I should be studying for my upcoming finals, and for the most part I am. Kind of. I don't think I want to fail, in fact I'm quite sure that this is a bad thing.

In big people school I've noticed a few things about myself. Well actually I've begun to notice a lot of things about myself. Like I prefer hot chocolate to coffee, that I'm easily distracted which may be because I've got ADD in some form or another, or that the color red really does look nice on me. You know, the important stuff. Anyway, college is one of those "huge" changes in your life. Anyway, that's what all those people who make you pay hundred of bucks and up, while you sit across from them on a couch, say anyway. College is a growing experience, you try new things and thus experience new things. Sure, sounds good to me.

What have I discovered? Well let me tell you...

1) English is not my calling as I had once thought it was. In fact English is probably the last thing I should ever think of majoring in (and thankfully I'm not, because I originally thought that such a degree would inhibit by chance of having a career outside of education. But hey, I was right , except that I would never have a sound job period, because I suck in English). Could you imagine if I was a teacher?

Child: "Miss, what's a noun?"

Me: "A noun Bobby? Well, you see, I think -and don't quote me on this- a noun is a form of ummmm, you know?"

Child: "I don't understand miss. I don't know what a noun is or I wouldn't have asked."

Me: *darn the inquisitive minds of the young!* "Well Bobby, I think that maybe you should try and 'be a big boy now', and pick up the dictonary. Teacher's won't always be around to pick up after you, so take charge of yourself and be a man! Ok?"

Child (a.k.a bobby): *tearing up* "Miss, I'm only 7! *crying* How did they make you a teacher in the first place?"

Me: "Bobby i'll be honest, they were all high on crack. In fact I don't even have a degree, cause on my journey of discovery in college, i discovered that I'm rather slow. Ok, so that's a rap, you have five minutes to go play and stuff."

If this ever happens I think you (the parents out there) should take this as a sure sign that the world has TRULY come to an end. I will be a sad moment in history. However I'm pretty sure George Bush had a teacher like the one I would be, because, well it's pretty self-explanatory.

Anyway, so basically english is not my calling.

As well, I've noticed that just about everything is not my calling. So what am I even doing in College?

Well Chip, that's a good question. I honestly think I'm only wasting a couple grand a semester because being here makes me feel like I may actually accomplish something and you know, take responsibilty for my life. Take charge so to speak. So that I can prove that I'm not dumb, and that yes, in fact I am the genius I always thought I was.

So I have a little problem with "punctuation" but so what? at least I'm sort of getting the whole math thing, and hey that say's a lot about something. What that something is? Well, I'm not sure, that probably all this time when I thought my talents really derived from my artistc corner of the brain, really, were just a figmant of my imagination (and trust me, i have an imagination like no other) and that I may be a math person! However, that isn't the case either.

So if I don't rock the english world, and I'don't rock the math world, what world do I rock? I rock....your world, you know I do? Joking. Seriously though, I may just have to accept defeat and be an ordinary jewel. Kidding! The difference after all between ordinary and extraordinary is the extra (I can hear all the parent's whooping at this cliche), so I'll search deep inside and I'll try to recover my wonderful intellect.

Or, I could just apply myself a little more, that may work. Like maybe I should stop confusing people with this excuse for an update and instead turn off my computer and take out my math book, and actually study.

I think I've discovered the answer. I think, that this discovery is so profound that one of these days (when I discover my intellect again, that is) I might even get a smart person prize, like the noble peace prize?

What's that?

Oh, this discovery of mine has been in circulation for centuries? Wow, I really am a genius.

Salam

If You're Smart You'll Just Move On

2006-11-21T21:41:00.000-08:00

I’ve been told to update, so, well, umm, here I am. Actually it was more of a deal I had with someone, if they updated then I would follow suit. And well, the rest is history, so to speak.

It’s been ages since I even visited my page, at a point I was simply going to ditch it, but you know, I just couldn’t in the end. It gave me those big, sulky, doggy eyes (you know the type that web pages seem to give you? no? guess it’s just me then, oook) and I just couldn’t put it down.

Instead, I’ve decided to grab the code machine and shock it to life. It’s borderline code blue right now.

What have I been up to you may be wondering? And I’d answer with a big ol’ “well, chip, not a whole lot.”

Seriously, since the last time I’ve updated maybe one or two note worthy things have happened.

One, I finished my internship at the hospital. It was fun. I got flowers. Yay.

Two, I started school, like real people school. Like BIG PEOPLE school. It’s an accomplishment my whole family is very proud of, you know since they never saw much genius in me. Haha, I showed them! Regardless however, they still see no genius in me. I just keep telling myself they’re jealous and that it is there, you know, hiding behind the layers and layers of stupid I have going for me. I’m like the little engine that could, except since blue doesn’t work for me I’ve decided to go with pink, you know, bring some style to Timbuktu.

For an update I’d have to say that if anything this sucks. It’s going horribly and I’m sure, just sure, that I’ve lost the attention of 99.99999% of you. BUT YOU, yes you, that’s right YOU, that measly 0.1% that’s still awed by me. Go home, sleep, re-energize your brain then come back and you’ll find that yes, you did waste about five minutes of your time on complete nonsense. Good for you, you have now joined the ranks of everyone in College. How does it feel?

Don’t answer that, otherwise I’ll know that you just spent another minute thinking about that question, another minute of your life wasted and who will be blamed for that? You, not me, I told you to stop reading like half a minute ago and here you are still reading.

…………………………….

…………………………….

……………………………

Still there? Go to sleep a more eloquent and genius post (cause that’s what I am, genius) will come another day when I’m not high on…well my own genius sillies. Goodnight, and farewell.

Also since you made it this far, I apologize for wasting your time.

Salam

blah

2006-07-08T23:08:00.000-07:00

I don't know what to say these days. There's a whole lot of things I want to say, but that I just don't feel like revealing. I come home, and the whole night my head is buzzing, but then I approach my computer and I just don't feel like sharing.

Even now, as I type I don't know what I'll write. I don't know what to say next. I think I'm feeling quite pessimistic. I'm happy, sort of, I always try to be happy, but I just don't like myself today. I didn't like myself yesterday either.

I'm not looking for sympathy, because I don't deserve it, nor do I need it. I don't know if I want it either, because then I just feel worse.

Do you ever wake up and just look at yourself thinking "what the hell am I doing with myself?"

Yeah, you probably have. I think everyone does at some point or another, it's human, I hope. I think. I'm sure.

You know what, I think I've written about this already a long while back.

The fact is, I know what's wrong, I'm just to slow to do anything about it. To slow, and truth be told, to lazy, and I know I'll pay for it. I'll pay for it dearly. That's how I feel. That's what I see.

I'm a hypocrit, and now you all know.

Goodnight and Take care.

~Pink Gerbera~

Hospital Gowns and a Need for Sleep

2006-07-05T21:18:00.000-07:00

Today was a long day, and all I want to do is crawl in to bed and sleep.

I woke up at six, went for my run, got home got ready, and headed to the hospital where I started my first day as a unit aid.

It was, interesting to say the least. It’s a small rural hospital and all of the patients are elderly. So in the morning I went around and freshened up everyone’s cup with ice and water, tidied the rooms after discharge, stocked patient bathrooms, shredded papers, chatted with some of the patients, took some of them outside on the patio to enjoy the sunshine, passed out lunch trays, and gave out snacks. Then at three I got to start all over again as the new nurses came in for the evening rotation. Exciting, no?

It got a little boring at times as I finished my tasks all really fast but I still really liked it. It was nice.

I’m not allowed to do patient care seeing as I’m not an RN –plus I would probably end up killing someone- but I get to do all this other stuff, which i already noted above.

I don’t know, it’s nice to be in the hospital and get a feel for the place even though I’m not an RN yet.

Anyway I got done my eight hours then drove home, got dressed and headed to the restaurant where I worked the evening shift.

I just got home and have to write my resume and do laundry. I’m tired, and all I want to do is sleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep.

Oh, and for the love of chocolate, why, WHY do I have to be sore today from running? I like the feeling but I’m telling you, when I was running this morning I was a dead weight.

Anyway, Alhamduillah. So much for enchanting update. Don't throw the tomatoes, I'm to tired to dodge them.

Take care.

~Pink Gerbera~

Booyaaa

2006-07-01T14:50:00.000-07:00

FRANCE beat down BRAZIL!

If that's not occassion enough to celebrate what is?

France has a kick butt team, but naturally the motherland (Germany) will win.

All bets on Germany.

Ok, so no betting, you get what I mean.

Toodles

~Pink Gerbera~

Today's Headlines

2006-06-29T22:55:00.000-07:00

Fact:
Cheese pizza with pineapples on it, now that's good eatin'.

Fiction:
You shouldn't eat pizza after 7pm

Today's Headlines:

Pink Gerbera opens up her first Checking Accout
"She was seen jumping up and down about the fact that she now has a 'Cool plastic blue card', to add to her wallet, say witnesses."

Restaurant Attacked by Swarm of Customers Without Warning
"One minute I'm just reading my book and chatting, then the next thing I know I'm running around like a chicken with its head cut off trying to keep up. No one saw it coming, it was horrible."

New In Good Sweets
Everyone must try Jones fizzy candy. Esepcially Fufu berry. Is it weird that I think of "Little Bunny Fufu" when I read that?

End of headlines.

Today an older women who's a regular customer -she's really sweet- stopped us in front of the bank to chat. She hadn't seen us since our departure to Morocco. During the convo she turned to me and curiously asked:

her: "So why the veil?"
me: *big friendly smile* "Because it's something I wanted to do."
her: "Oh, so it's your choice then?"
me: *still smiling friendly* "Yes ma'am, I've a choice. It's something I wanted to do for a while now, but lacked the courage."
her: *big smile* "You're right dear, that would take courage in today's world. I'm sorry I didn't word my question very well, but you answered well, I like that."
me: *laughing* "No problem whatsoever. People are going to ask."

Honestly, I'd rather they asked then kept their mouth's shut.

Another funny thing, while both my younger brother and I were opening our checking accounts (I GOT A BLUE PLASTIC CARD!) the women, said she didn't know that my parent's had a daughter. Honestly, this doesn't surprise me, barely any of our customers know that there's a girl in the family, and then their shocked when they see me. My typical answer would be: "Um, yeah, I exist, I'm just chained to the sink all day."

Man, people are so interesting.

Ok, I think that's it for now. I have nothing deep to talk about, unless you want me to discuss the very equilibrium that is moved off balance by adding pineapple to the cheese on a pizza. Any takers? Didn't think so.

Take care, and goodnight.

~Pink Gerbera~

Soccer = No to Birkenstocks

2006-06-29T09:13:00.000-07:00

Salam

The best way to spend a day at work -which by the way is why I love family business-

1: Go to work, do dishes, clean and prepare to open at eleven.
2: Make breakfast
3: Go outside and read book.
4: Play soccer, at the back of the restaurant, but then realize how hard it is to play with Birkenstocks, especially when they threaten to go flying any second. especially when you're not that great to begin with, but wish you could wake up one day and be killer.
5: Grab book sit on step's and watch brother's juggle ball -something YOU ARE TRYING TO MASTER, but can't, because you're wearing Birkenstocks-, while one sends shoe flying and can't find it afterwards.

That's pretty fun..no? I think so, it's really nice, especially when we have little soccer matches.

Yesterday was really kind of hot, and when we closed for the afternoon I kind of forgot all my housework and went to sleep. So. NICE! But then I felt bad and attacked the house after work with a lively energy. Result...I didn't go to sleep till midnight. But, oh, the house is clean, so it's more then worth it.

That's it for now. Take care ya'll.

~Pink Gerbera~

A Dream

2006-06-28T06:55:00.000-07:00

I want to live on a farm, by the Atlantic. There something about this that just captures me so much. I mean, I love oriental or middle eastern history and culture but to be honest, my heart tends to lean more towards Celtic folklore/highlanders/Saxons/Britons/ et cetera. I’ve always been in to that thing, ever since I was wee one.

The thing with a farm is that yes, I do realize that having a farm is hard work because many of my uncles run them, but I still want one. It has something to do with my view of what I consider simple, more or less. I would like to have that little farm house, with a few chickens, some sheep, a cow or two for milking, and then a large vegetable garden. A large clothing line hung with clothes that blow in the wind, or ones children playing in the fields.

I want my children –insha’Allah- to be able to come home and feel safe, free of the pressures of the outside world. I want them to be able to run freely, to play, and I want them to learn the value of hard work and simple living. I want to be able to go to where there’s a lot of people and hustle-n-bustle but then be able to go home and have that nice quiet, and tranquility.

Go back to basics, so to speak. I love nature and therefore love to be immersed in to it. I love large apple trees –actually trees of any sort-, wild flowers, rain and wind. I love rolling hills, flat fields, mighty towering mountains and the endless dream of the deep blue ocean.

I find that more then anything I have a heart for the Atlantic and all it’s cool, temperamental history. I love it when you wake up and there’s that strong salty smell in the air, or at night –or any other time- when you can here its turbulent waves crashing against cliffs, or rocky ledges.

There’s just something about that life that I always wanted. Will it be better, I don’t know, but it’s is my dream.

I told this to my younger brother one day while we were on our way to do pick up some supplies, and he sort of looked at me crazy, and then more or less said, “Good-luck finding a brown boy that wants that.” Then he went in to this big debate about compromise and having to more-or-less put your dreams aside. I looked at him incredulously and said “Oh, and you’ve married how long?”

Then laughed, seriously I don’t care, a girl can dream dammit!

Good day to you.

~Pink Gerbera~

Hmm

2006-06-27T22:04:00.000-07:00

Why is it, that I can never say exactly what is on my mind, exactly how it is presented in my mind? Why does it always make perfect sense in there and when I wish to convey it, it comes out totally twisted? That I can never really get what I mean out?

I don’t know either, weird huh?

Place Interesting Title Here

2006-06-27T09:30:00.000-07:00

Salam

Do you care for someone a lot, a brother, sister, friend, or lover? And then they do something that hurts them more then it hurts you and all you want to do is box their ears? What they do is damaging to their own souls, but you can’t help to feel that the damage they do to themselves hurts you too. That by just standing by you make it worse. That you wish they would just open their damn eyes and stop being so damn cowardly, when you know that they are anything but?

Well, I want to box your ears out. I really want to shake you till you wake up and snap out of it, because you’re starting to piss me off, and it’s not because I’m mad but because I’m so hurt by what you do to yourself. And ok, because I’m a little mad that you just laugh about it. Well I’ll tell you something, I’m relentless and though I kept my distance to see what you would do, I will not anymore, I will now step in and give you a good strong kick in the arse.

Friends, you don’t know what I’m talking about, and that’s ok, you won’t. So this part is for you.

Besides that I had a wonderful kick butt day yesterday hanging with J. We went shopping, but didn’t really buy much till we got to the book store. Now, that was fun! It is so nice to hang with the people you like and respect.

She is insightful, and though she is humble and probably won’t agree with this, she is also very deep, and just plain cool. Plus, her bebe is the cutest thing.

Last week I hung out with D and that was just so great too. She’s really cool and makes me laugh, because she always insists that I should “go shoot myself.” It’s sweet…no? She also has a very cool familia.

So because I know they read this, I just want them to know that I appreciate the time. :D

I love thee all.

Peace
~Pink Gerbera~

Seven Things

2006-06-18T09:31:00.000-07:00

Salam!

SeVeN qUiRkY tHiNgS yOu DiDn'T wAnT tO kNoW aBoUt Me
(and now that you do will change your lives forever...probably not)

1. Till the age of eleven I seriously...seriously thought I was a sailor scout. I was sailor pluto before they made ANY sailor pluto in the show. Yes my friends...I was the FIRST! Therefore I also thought I had "sailor" powers.

2. I used to want to be a football player (and I'm talking about AMERICAN football), figure skater (I choreographed my own routines thank you very much), and a gymnast (even though I could never do a cartwheel to save my life).

3. I played with barbies till I was fourteen. In fact my last barbie purchase was then, it was skipper in hawii. That was my very FIRST skipper barbie, I was excited.

4. I honestly prefer guy jeans to girl jeans, and guy t-shirts to girl t-shirts. Why is it that women have to face such uncomfort when it comes to these two things??? Plus, guy shirts come with wicked cool star wars themes, or bruce lee, or Ernesto Guevara on them, girl t-shirt have stuff like "Princess" or "Hotty" in glitter. Enough said.

5. I used to think I had a killer voice, which therefore led to me performing in three talent shows (all of which I lost...lol). It was only later, as I reflected back, that my music career was in serious danger of never being. So long, goodbye. Dang if only I could hit that darn C.

6. I like to talk in a british accent. Hey, it's fun for me, annoying for you.

7. After watching Pride and Prejudice (the A&E version) I would dress up in what I thought resembled Regency attire (but totally didn't...) and parade around in my british accent (that's where the habit began) pretending I was Elizabeth Bennet. Naturally I had no sisters so I would talk to myself. God, that was fun!

Ok, well I think that is enough, by any standards of torture.

Take care

~Pink Gerbera~

Just Random Stuff

2006-06-14T21:29:00.000-07:00

Salam!

Yesterday I watched a really good, and equally depressing movie. It was called Human Trafficking. Oh-my-gosh! Watching that movie proves that I have NOTHING to complain about. Alhamduillah. Seriously.

I'm so sickened by what people do. By how low they stoop to make a measly buck.

I've known about human trafficking for quite a while (wow...and so has everyone else), but each time I watch or hear something about it I just get sick, and depressed. How? How can people do this to other people? Treat them and sell them like cattle??? Demean them in such ways? Feed off their dreams of a better life, because that's what all these other countries promise? Right? A better life.

I cried at the end. I cried because some people really don't have souls. I cried because Allah really is so good to us. I cried because these people steal something from these women and children...dignity, and self-worth.

May Allah forgive and protect us from these evils...ameen.

*deep sigh* Man, what's with the world today. Actually what's with the world period? Historically, presently...gosh I don't want to know about it in the future.

I need to close my eyes. Sometimes I want to run away, and dig a hole where I'll live. But it will a quaint, cute lil hole, where I won't have to hear or see...Nevermind, we all want that.

There's a lot of good too. Alhamduillah.

Now something positive...

I LOVE THE RAIN!

I love how it makes everything so green, and luscious. After the rain, I just like to walk around town, especially in the back where all the old trees tower over you, releasing little droplets on to your face or hair.

I love the smell. A smell no one can really explain, it's just this perfect, natural, fresh smell.

I love how the sun breaks through the clouds, making the droplets glisten on all that they have touched.

I love walking in the tall grass and getting my shoes and pants damp with the rain water.

At nightime it's even nicer, because I love the sound it makes as the water falls to the ground, or hits my window. I can just lay there for hours and listen to it, it's some of the most beautiful music.

And unlike many people I love a thunderstorm. Because I love to hear the thunder, and see the lightning. I love to hear that large crack of thunder (so powerful Subhana'Allah) and then out of no where the rain is falling like a waterfall.

I know that for farmers it makes life harder because to much rain over saturates the ground, but I'm greedy and love it! At least there is color everywhere instead of that dull yellowish-brown that the fields and hills around here seem to take on.

Now a rant! (is this post long yet? lol)

WHY?

WHY do guys have to be so...domestically retarded? I ask that in all seriousness. I can't stand having to pick up after my brothers. I mean, don't get me wrong I know they work hard but puh-lease! JUST PICK UP THE TOWELS!!!!!! Oh, and don't pile up the laudary. AND please follllllld the clothes right away after you take them out of the dryer, don't just let them sit there and get cold. You know why? Because then they get wrinkles!

I am however glad to inform you that I am tackling the laudary quite well, and am not falling behind. Do I get a gold star?

What can I say...that was my five second rant.

Ok go sleep, take care.

~Pink Gerbera~

Freaking Out A little

2006-06-13T19:49:00.000-07:00

Salam

I was just lying in my bed staring out the window as the rain fell lightly outside, and I found myself wishing I could just go sit outside with a cup of tea and a blanket. I just want to sit there and stare at the large tree that drapes beautifully in my neighbors yard.

I’m quietly freaking out.

On Monday I have my diploma for math. This is my deciding factor on whether or not the program I am accepted in to will give me a permanent place. I can’t fail…but I know I will. God, why didn’t I study harder when I was in Morocco? I did study, but not nearly enough. I maybe covered three units. THREE! Oh, for the love of God, why am I such a freaking procrastinator? WHY?! I’m toast.

I know it’s just an exam, but…but, I need to do this program because I already took a year off of school. I’m falling behind all my peers. But, I don’t think I want to do this program. What was I thinking? I can’t be a doctor! I hate school. I hate exams.

I was going to update yesterday, I even wrote an update but I never posted it. I don’t know why.

We went to watch district 13. Go watch it, because it’s really a pretty kick butt movie.

I’m still freaking out. I still want to sit outside in the rain. I want to go for a walk, and breath, but I know I won’t.

Gosh, this is probably my most pessimistic post up-to-date. I hate pessimism and I hate it more when I’m being a pessimist.

~Pink Gerbera~

Back

2006-06-12T00:38:00.000-07:00

Salam!

Ok, so it's been a while since I've updated, I guess sometimes the world just passes you by, and you don't notice till you come take a look at your blog. Anyway, I'm back from Morocco.

Gosh, you know what, that line is still hard to say. I miss it a lot, but more then anything I miss my family. While I was there I always found myself wanting to update but then never getting around to it.

So many wonderful things happened, yet I can't explain them because no one...no one, would understand where I'm coming from. It's almost a mixture of "you had to be there" as well as personal exploration. Everyone observes and takes things in differenlty. Now that I'm back I feel like I have no stories to tell any of my friends because they seriously wouldn't know what the heck I'm talking about.

Like tonight, I was talking to my friend and she was telling me all that's been going on since I've gone, and I had nothing...nada. I told her one or two amusing things, but besides that I really had no stories to indulge her with.

To be honest most of the time I just thought, quietly to myself. I thought of my current state, of Allah (s.w.t) and his gifts, I thought of the world. Of who I use to be, and what I have become. And then I thought of what might be, I expanded my mind and let everything in. I didn't want to miss a beat, I wanted to have everything absorbed for safe keeping.

No one can really know what happened, because for the most part it was an internal thing. It is something that can not be placed in to words.

I felt like a two year old, absorbing and discovering the world around her. I didn't write a lot, and I regret that.

I still remember the smell and feel of the sand and saltwater as I walked barefoot on the damp sand. I was hesitant at first, I didn't want to remove my runners, I simply didn't feel like having to clean all the sand off and so I remained walking arm and arm with my aunt.

As I walked I breathed in the deep sea air, and watched as the water moved in and out in its eternal rhythm, watched as it became lighter when it came in and darker as it left. I watched as the sun went down and the clouds hid the stars. And then the thought that I wouldn't see an ocean for years hit me, and I quickly removed my shoes, just as my cousin did, her spirit running freely on the sand. And as I took off the shoes, and neatly placed my socks inside I began to run chasing the water as it came in.

"One, two, three" my cousin would count and then we would jump just as the tide came in, as we landed the water oddly warm was caressing our ankles. I slightly rolled up the hem of my jeans and we continued to count, jumping each time it came back, and laughing like young children.

The fourth time my cousin splashed me with water and I can remember myself shrieking in stern protest, however she did not cease and so I fled, running without a care in the world. I could feel the end of my scarf flying behind me as the wind lifted it, and then I fell.

It happened so fast, but in a split second I was soaked, I didn't care though, I simply got up and laughed. In all honesty it was one of the most enjoyable things, it was liberating and free. It was innocent and I felt happy, and thankful. My jeans were wet and hung heavy, there was sand all over, but still I laughed. And as my aunt came over her eyes wet with tears of laughter, we went arm in arm and continued to make our way across the beach.

Near the end of our walk it had become night, yet lights from the beach walk and crescent moon shone upon the waves and sea shells. We gathered shell after beautiful shell and stored them safely away in my cousins green sock, souvenirs of our evening at the beach. At a point I simply stood there my aunt and cousin a few feet away still finding shells, yet I stood there letting the water engulf my feet, and I looking out at the horizon thinking. Of what? I was just etching the details of that evening in my mind.

After collecting all the shells we each stood on slippery rocks and rinsed our feat in the warm saltwater, when I was done I carefully pulled my shoes on, and we made our way back up on to the street.

In my heart I felt happy, and to Allah (s.w.t) I felt so thankful and humble. I remember that I kept repeating to my aunt that Allah (s.w.t) has really given us so much beauty and so many gifts, that I feel ashamed to feel ever ungrateful. It felt like a worship, a spiritual retreat of sorts.

As we arrived at her car, I slipped in to the back seat, and as we pulled out I took one last look and said "Subhana'Allah" before we drove off in the other direction, my thoughts racing and my voice forgotten.

It is times like these that I will forever have with me, and I am thankful that I had the chance to see and think.

So, what can I tell you about Morocco. Well, it's a beautiful country, and so on, but really it has nothing to do with being somewhere different, it has to do with the little things we expect least that stay with you. The revelations we make along the way, be it here or in Timbuktu.

That's all for now, I'm tired.

Take care.
~Pink Gerbra~

Just Thinking

2006-05-22T03:40:00.000-07:00

Its midnight now in Morocco and everyone else is fast asleep. In all truth I too am very tired but I just can’t seem to sleep. Do ever feel as though a lot has happened? Not necessarily in terms of major events but more in relation to emotions? For some reason I feel, or rather have been feeling like that for the last few days.

I don’t keep a journal, for two reasons. One, I guess I’m quite lazy and two, I can’t directly write my feelings down, for, alas I’m a sifter. I find that I must circulate my thoughts through my mind before I can even TRY to put them on paper. I’m afraid I’m no Mia Thermopolis, or any other character either fiction or non that can carry a coiled notebook wherever and simply jot down my feelings. However, I really wish that I was more ambitious and less of a sifter because so many things are forgotten. I absorb a lot of what I see (i.e. memories) then I lock it up safely in some deep abyss of what is my mind. The problem however, is that when I’m ready to retrieve those wonderful, and even eloquently rehearsed (yes, I actually write journal entries in my head then lock them away) memories it is as though I’ve forgotten the combination to the safe. It’s a pity really because I have some pretty interesting things locked away.

Anyway today on our four hour long drive from my father’s hometown to my uncle’s place in the city I sort of had some time to reflect upon my thoughts or emotions. Before we began our journey from Immouzzer Khandar (father’s hometown) to Casablanca (big city) my uncle and dad decided to head down to Fez which is the oldest city in Morocco (and is conveniently situated only thirty minutes from Immouzzer) so I decided to go along.

As I sat in the car en route to Fez, some of the most beautiful scenery I’ve seen passed before my eyes. Immouzzer Khandar is a village situated in the middle atlas region of Morocco, therefore it has a lush mountainous beauty. However, what I find so wonderful, Subhana’Allah is how very diverse mountains and their regions are around the world. In Morocco when one thinks mountains they don’t imagine the Rockies with a wealth of towering firs or skiing (I had to add that one), for it is anything but. As one descends from the village down its long winding roads, for as far as the eye can see masterfully spread across the land are lush, green farms. Apple orchards decorated with creamy white flowers, fields of red poppies and fresh lavender, almond or walnut trees with little buds on each branch, crops of barley, hundreds of grazing sheep, and an ocean of fertile red soil.

The middle atlas is somewhat (perhaps) like the Canadian shield with all the rocky areas. It seems as one travels across this part of the country that rocks sprout earnestly from the earth, for they truly are a part of landscape.

As we continue other little things appear, such as the large, stubby or lean cacti border on lands separating one families from the others. Or as we progress the sea of olive groves, or large trees that I’ve never before seen but have purple flowers that sprout everywhere forming a beautiful, lavender colored tree canopy. Or the date trees that condense in one area then ease off only to bunch up again.

The seen is breath taking and truly pulls at my heart, for all I can seem to think are these two things:

One, Subhana’Allah for He is the most gifted and talented artist, seriously it is from He that all imagery, color, and abstract form derives from. Subhana’Allah!

Two, that this is a country I would love to reveal to the one I marry (if of course he isn’t Moroccan) for it is a place I hold dear to myself and would love to share with another. To show the beauty, almost like a gift.

If I was a more talented photographer I would have at least over a thousand pictures right now, but alas I am born in to a family who never really were the kind to “snap, and say cheese” so getting in to a habit in which I carry with me everywhere a digital camera is hard to create. I’m trying, but thus far have been failing miserably.

Everywhere one is, be it Canada, the USA, Morocco, France, anywhere, one will find so much beauty to behold. I don’t mean architectural wonders, but rather the beauty that many of us probably take for granted. Life is very, go, go, go, and with just cause (more or less), but does one really ever stop and just look around. Subhana’Allah, there is so much beauty, so much to discover, to behold. Allah has not been unjust with us, for even in a world that seems so cold and unfeeling He has given us warmth, and splendor.

I don’t know, maybe I’m a little “coo coo” for some of you, but I really believe that there is so much that is given to us that we just sometimes seem to take for granted or overlook. Like the sun, or the moon, the stars and the clouds, all created with such distinct reasons of affaire and yet so picturesque at the same time.

I thought about a lot of things on that four hour drive to my uncle’s place. Too many things to go in to here, but that’s neither here nor there.

One thing we did was stop for Maghrib prayer at the gas station (they have places to pray at each gas station), and as we continued on our journey I was taken by thoughts of another nature.

We live in a world that seems so corrupt and immoral at times. All around us, in this global society many people seem lost, or cold, for there is no one nation that can truly boast being good, God fearing people, that are not without temptations or immorality. None.

So, what are we to do when we have settled down and began our families? When we’ve had children? We can’t merely lock them up, and hide them from society, now can we? Exactly, so this had me appreciating how truly important it is for us, the future mommies and daddies to hold true to our convictions and faith. It’s no piece of cake, but if our children are in a world so lost then they should at least be able to come home to a place where they can be set right.

I don’t know, to me it seems that if our children have the correct morals and sense of right taught to them that they may have a better chance of surviving. I know that one can’t always blame the parents for how their children turn out, but I think that they are a big part of the problem. We owe it not only to ourselves to stay strong and steadfast but also to the future generations, to our children.

I’m nowhere near perfect, in that I have so much to build upon, but we are not all without our trials, our tests. I mean, we all have to face a lot of the same temptations, right? We all are around alcohol, guys/girls, clubs, casino’s, strip clubs, and so on, so we all are tempted (possibly) but it’s being able to say “look, no thank you” that’s the hard part. I don’t condemn anyone for how they act (most of the time, sometimes they really are just cruel, ugly, cold people); I can’t do so in all honesty without first looking at myself. Instead of throwing stones, work on yourself so that when your children arrive (Insha’Allah) you can teach them, and then they can teach theirs, and so on.

The same can be said when it comes to marriage. I mean, raising children is a two people job, so having a good person is important. The thing I’ve found with a lot of men and women in Morocco (and everywhere) is that they seem to care a lot about the size of ones purse/wallet. Sure being financially stable is important but, please, give me a break, there’s more important things out there. I don’t know, I can’t say for sure why people do what they do.

Does this make any sense? I don’t know if it does but it is how I’ve been feeling lately.

Ok I think that’s enough for one day, I have to go study. I sort dosed off last night while I was writing this so, though I started at midnight I ended at eleven in the morning.

Take care and till next time insha’Allah.

~Pink Gerbera~

salam from morocco

2006-05-17T04:43:00.000-07:00

Salam,

I’m still in Morocco and do not want to go home. I’m missing it already. I’m missing my family, the athan that announces each prayer so beautifully, the markets, the food, the mixes of extremes and my family.

If anything this trip has made me realize how lonely our life in Canada is. All of my relatives live here, in Morocco while we (my direct family and I) live in Canada so we are quite separated and therefore only get to see each other every few years, but Alhmaduillah for Allah is so kind with blessing us with even those meetings.

But being positive is important, so I’ll make the most of these last weeks and I’ll make the most of my return insha’Allah!

Before I came to Morocco I started wearing hijab (Alhamduillah), so that I would have a chance to get used to it. Honestly? I love it! I’ve wanted to wear it for a long time, and I finally took the plunge. Lots of people may wonder why I hadn’t done so sooner. Well, for me it was definitely a challenge that I had to overcome. I was too weak and worried about others and what others would think when really I should have worried only of what Allah s.w.t thinks.

I love Allah very much, and I want to make Him happy. Insha’Allah, I pray that I do, or that I can strive too.

This trip has made me realize a few things, like how much I still have to learn. Honestly, I should have no time for TV or petty books when there is a whole world of knowledge to unlock and discover. Islamic studies, general studies, everything!

I’ve been hearing a lot lately about how Muslims worry to much about getting other degrees and what not, when they should be worrying about expanding their knowledge of Islam. True? False?

I say, the answer lies somewhere in between. Everything we do is a form of worship IF we do it with the right intentions. I mean, learning about the components of the human anatomy and how things work is a form of worship in ways. I mean, Subhana’Allah, just look how wonderful and intricate Allah’s s.w.t creations are! Subhanan’Allah! He is truly magnificent.

Learning about the planets, the universe, agriculture, history, and just everything else is a way of learning and appreciating Allah and His gifts and Greatness!

Like for example, there is a doctor in Saudia (don’t quote me on where he’s from but I think he’s from somewhere in the emirates) who discovered a way of healing glaucoma. He was studying Surrah Yusuf profusely because he thought that it was interesting how when Yacoub (aleyhi salam) was blind in his old age, Yusuf (aleyhi salam) took the shirt from his sweaty body and told his brother to put it on Yacoub’s face and when he did, his sight returned, so the doctor thought that this must mean something.

So the doctor after reading that Ayat went to research the effectiveness of sweat on the eyes, what he discovered was that it could cure glaucoma. Subhana’Allah! Look, how the answers are given to us. (That’s a shortened version of the story, forgive it’s briefness.)

However, this doctor would not have been able to come up with this unless he first had knowledge of the human body, and science. Right? I mean, Allah s.w.t give us this wonderful book that is so full of answers but the only way to accurately take from them is if we also have knowledge of the world He has created around us.

Everything in the end comes down to intentions. So, if you’re doing something solely for material gain and life in this world then yes you’re definitely in the wrong BUT if your intentions are pure because you want to truly please Allah s.w.t then the best of luck.

In other news…

I got the six week internship at the hospital! Alhamduillah, for truly this could not have been done without Allah s.w.t allowing it to happen.

Take care and insha’Allah I’ll update again with pictures when I probably come back.

~Pink Gerbera~

P.S. If I haven’t e-mailed you, I apologize, in all honesty I’m a horrible correspondent. Astighfurillah.

Goodbye

2006-04-14T21:29:00.000-07:00

Salam,

Ok, so I'm officially out of here tomorrow. Isn't that cool? I think so. Though, I'll be totally honest in saying that I'm sort of sad. I think it's just a whole load of mixed up emotions, I'm hoping I won't feel to sad when I'm gone. I mean I'm going on vacation for goodness sakes, why am I at all sad?

Today I am a year older, this day has actually been totally forgotten, because I've been so excited about leaving. Who cares about getting older? I'm still young, and I still have lots I want to do, whether or not I'll ever be able to do them is a whole other story. Alhamduillah! I suppose that's what should be rightly said.

Tomorrow, I begin hijab. Hijab, for those of you that know, is the islamic head covering worn by women of the faith. Anywho, I'm really looking forward to it, it's been a long time coming! I don't think I'm too nervous about it, I don't think there is anything to be nervous about. I mean, if people don't like you, they just DON'T, and that's that. So, to each their own.

That's all I have to say right now, but I leave you with a poem that I wrote when I was realllly bored, and it was raining.

The Rain

The rain fell
Steadily making the earth swell
Replenishing the world around
From the leaves to the ground

And once the rain has gone away
You see the flowers bloom, and sway
A signal of their rebirth
A simple glimpse of their renewed mirth

The buzzing bees that move around
The roses waiting to be found
The grass that smells so fresh and shines so green
Waiting for the highschool football team

And in the corner quietly sits
A mother with her three young kids
Laughing lightly at their jokes
Zipping up their little coats

On the porch two miles down
Sleeps a puppy, small and brown
In his basket warm and new
He lays beside his mother Blue

And an old man gently rocks
Listening as his grandson talks
Of the boats on the bay
And all those he had passed that day

In the distance yet again
One can see the dark clouds bend
In a sky that’s never tame
Waiting to release the rain

To replenish all that is around
From the leaves to the ground
To keep the life around the bay
Happy, new, and fresh each day.

*laughs* Ok than, relax, take care, and later days.

~Pink Gerbera~

Be Awed

2006-04-05T09:55:00.000-07:00

Salam All!

Ok, so I exaggerated…kind of. I said I wouldn’t post again for a while, because I have “so much” to do before I leave in ten days. Actually nine days if you don’t count the actual day of my departure. Which, I don’t think I should, when you think about logically. Ok, so I like getting in to useless debates as much as the next guy/girl but I think this one can wait for another day when I’m really bored and/or am totally desperate for an update. It will probably be both.

Anywho, back to the subject at hand, why I’m updating when I should be doing all the many things I have to do. But really I don’t want to talk about “why” I’m not doing all those things right now; because it just totally rains down on my parade.

Ok, I know there was a reason for why I’m updating; I just sort of forgot it along the way. But I think it’s slowly starting to creep back in to mind, it’s just easy to forget things once in a while, especially when you have so much crammed in to your mind. In other words, geniuses can be excused here and there for forgetfulness…no?

You don’t think I’m a genius? That’s fair, most people don’t know; I’m very modest in keeping my noble peace prize nominations and Pulitzers on the DL. What can I say? Now you sort of know, and NOW I have no choice but to awe you all with my superior intellect.

This will no longer be any ordinary blog about a girl who sometimes likes to babble, jabble, and talk kadabble, oh, and who happens to like pink gerberas. (What’s with that anyway? Can anyone seriously explain that? More importantly did anyone noticed I rhymed just now? ANYONE?) No, my dear friends, this will now become a place where I debate serious, thought provoking things. Where I contemplate the meaning of life; as I analyze the questions everyone else is to afraid to ask. Where, get this…I may even have an answer!

Settle down people. Geez, I know this is a lot to take in, and that “yes”, it’s pretty darn exciting to be able to read the thoughts of such a gifted, and talented (did I mention GENIUS) as myself. But, please, don’t smother me with requests to interviews, or throw at me your own silly attempts at “profound questions” so that we can debate them. Just chill…be cool.

Anyway, I know there was a reason that I wanted to update. Oh, there goes my memory again!

Oh yeah! Now I remember. I wanted to write about the rain. Hmmm, that would’ve been nice, but I think you’ll all miss the beautiful things I have to say about it because you’re all still shell-shocked at my finally revealing such an amazing secret.

What! Don’t tell me you forgot already? That’s just pathetic.

I come on here in an attempt to make it seem like I was going to write about something else, like the rain for example (give me a break, like I would write about that) but all I wanted to write about was the fact that I am a flippin’ genius! A mastermind…whiz kid…I mean woman…that I have awesome understanding of all things you have no idea about.

But no, you have to go and recover so easy from this shocking “coming-out”.

I have one word for this…

Darn, Power Puff Girls is on, I don’t have time for this now.

Take Care
~Pink Gerbera~

P.S. I seriously was going to talk about the rain. Man, I hate being all smart and stuff.

Leaving On A Jet Plane

2006-04-02T22:06:00.000-07:00

Salam All!

Well for the last few posts I’ve maintained a pretty serious demeanor and I think one or two of such posts are enough for anyone, for a while. Plus, my last post literally took a lot out of me emotionally, the reason for why I haven’t posted in a few days. But, that’s all behind us now, no?

Anyway this post will be lighter in nature as it will be my last post for a while, possibly a long while. No, I haven’t decided to quite this blogging business, so don’t worry…if in fact you were worried!

So the reason for a sabbatical?

I’m going away for about two months. This is really quite exciting, as I will be going to Morocco! Woot woot! I haven’t been there in three years, which, ok, considering isn’t a “very” long time but it’s still long enough for me. Especially if it will be my last visit there for a while, since I will be starting uni soon, insha’Allah.

Hopefully when I’m there I may be able to update occasionally, you know, if I find a net café with computers faster then a snail. Well, one can hope anyway!

So I have two weeks left before I go, and let me tell you, I’m kind of stressed out. I have to get done my math course, pack, run errands and work. Ok, so this doesn’t sound like a lot but it really is, especially when I have still two weeks left of math and quizzes.

But I have already started organizing my stuff. Sorry, I mean, I have already started going through my book shelf and choosing the books I want to take, and that’s about it. Hey, my books are an important part of life; I need my babies with me. Anyway, so after going through all of my books I set aside 20 that I am going to take. I have seriously selected a bag that will be especially used to store them in. They will have no choice but to come with me on the airplane, who knows what will happen if I don’t keep my eyes on them? They might accidentally get dog eared! GASP! I just can’t let that happen to any of them, they all look so pretty and still brand new.

Ok, so I have a little thing for my books and their condition…sue me.

I am also supposed to be studying whilst over there because I have a diploma to write when I come back. STUDY!!! While on vacation? What’s this world seriously coming to? Oh well, I am determined to get a good mark, so sacrifices must be made. Slacking, sadly, is not an option. But it’s all good, remember… I have my books.

As for clothes, what to pack? What to pack? I tend to leave a lot of my clothes behind for my cousins. Hey, they need them more then I do, after all. So I have one suit case dedicated to “my” clothes and one for the clothes I have specifically chosen to give away.

It’s no joke; let me tell you, to have over eighty cousins. I’m sure some of you know what I’m talking about. Anyway, so what does one buy for eighty people?

Answer:

Chocolate! Seriously, who in their right mind can say no to “oh-so-good” chocolate? WHO? Exactly, and if you do, I’m sorry to hear that. But my little cousins, they love the stuff…what smart children! Plus, chocolates are awesome for bribing, or convincing a depressed girl cousin to spill the beans. Just pretend I didn’t say that.

Now, on what else I did in means of packing. Well, I did buy all my toiletries…doesn’t that count? And who decided that toiletries should be so damn expensive? Honestly, I am a big believer of being all clean and smelling nice, et cetera but holy crap, which stuff adds up! Maybe it’s easier to just stick to a bar of soap and a jar of Vaseline?

Oh! And this time, I will not forget my digital camera behind. I always tend to do that, or I bring one of those “regular” cameras where you ACTUALLY have to put film in them. What’s that about? Anyway, I’m no good with those because I always some how tend to “expose” the darn film to the sun or something, and BAM no more pretty pictures to remind me of good times. So my lil friend “Mr. Digi” and I will not leave each others sides, this time PICTURES will be taken or so help me God!

Ok. I think I’ve gone over all of what I’m packing and such. Let’s just do a check list shall we?

A List Of Important Things That Can’t and Will Not Be Forgotten:

Books: Check…check…checkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk
Bags to put books in so that they don’t dog ear: Check (Major check actually)
Toiletries that cost too much, and therefore actually leave a little pain in my heart: Yuppers
Pretty Flower Suitcases: checkkkk
Clothes: Um, they’re there I just have to sort through them

Ok, so basically I’m set! Good stuff.

And now I’m going to go, because I have plenty to do.

Till Next time:
Take care
~Pink gerbera~

Something I Need To Get Off My Chest

2006-03-27T22:15:00.000-08:00

Salam!

Well there’s been something nagging at my thoughts for the whole day, and I just think I need to “get it off my chest”, so to speak. Naturally these are my own opinions, so if you agree…great! If not, that’s cool too!

Whenever there’s some story that surfaces in the media about something that has taken place in a “Muslim country” (which to me constitutes a country made-up of a majority of the populous being Muslim) that doesn’t attain to western or really modern political and/or religious norms I find that I always begin to suffer from headaches.

The latest story is that of an Afghani man who converted to Christianity, and for doing so was being put to trial, under which if he tried guilty would be sentenced to death. Thus far the trial has been put on hold due to lack of proof.

Before I get ahead of myself I would like to say that from what I know of Islam, I have yet to hear anything that constitutes the death of an individual who leaves the religion. I am a firm believer that Allah (s.w.t) will decide and deal accordingly with each person. If they sin, it is His duty and only His duty to punish them suitably, as we are all held accountable for our own actions and not that of others.

Islam is a peaceful religion, irregardless of what you may hear. And the teachings of both our beloved prophet (p.b.u.h) and holy book the Qur’aan, preach such. So when it’s grandly publicized that Islam is the complete opposite of that it really becomes a hard name to live down.

I will not deny that such stereotypes can hardly be blamed for cultivating themselves because there are a lot of harebrained people that tend to twist things in their favor. But lest we forget that this is true for every religion; as every religion is compromised of human beings, and everyone should know that we, the people are anything but perfect. We are beings afflicted with flaws, both grand and small. This furthermore suggests that due to such shortcomings there are a lot of weak minded people who will, turn to evil, two dimensional ways of dealing with things.

Does this justify many of the evils that take place in our world? The many inhumane injustices? The beating, raping, murdering, torturing, and exploitation of men, women and children? In every and any country? No, it most certainly does not, but then it’s our job to do something. And it’s Allah who will give out the ultimate punishment to those who succumb to such evils.

Now, to get back to the specific topic at hand.

So with the common knowledge that all religions suffer from the contortion of their beliefs by others should Islam really be the only one to be put under the magnify glass?

Many Muslims and non-Muslims speak about how backwards Islam is. How, we should really start making our religion more modern, more befitting to the current times. What exactly does modernization entail? In short, “modernization” is a progression of the times. An evolution, if I may, of a mindset and ultimately a people.

So my question is how exactly do you want to modernize Islam? What are we to do? Do you want us to change the Qur’aan? (Astighfurillah) Modernize it, so that it suits the lifestyles of the contemporary?

Are we, the women of this faith, supposed to take off our veils because the majority of women presently do not believe in covering in such a way? Are we supposed to start drinking alcohol because no one else seems to have a problem with it? Because it is a norm of society? Are we suppose to start dating? Because that too has become a prevalent norm of society? Are we supposed to say its “ok” to have sex before you’re married? Because that too, is starting to be seen as the “ok” thing to do?

To some extent I can’t help but wonder why lots of Muslims wish to modernize Islam, and therefore sometimes wonder if in doing so they are just hoping that an official “APPROVED” stamp can be placed upon the things that hitherto have been looked down upon and/or forbidden?

Tell me, what are we supposed to do exactly? If you’re talking about Shariah Law, would you just like to get rid of it? I believe that there is no country currently who can righteously establish our Islamic Law. None, so we have a lot of problems associated with Shariah Law and how it should be followed through with because this is a weak point, where everyone’s idea of how it should be established starts to conflict.

But, this again is due to the fact that humans aren’t perfect and therefore can twist and interpret things wrongly. But there is so much more to Shariah then that. I mean, the Qur’aan along with all other Holy books gives us more or less a set of rules to abide by. Moral ways to live our lives, the differences between what is good and what is wrong, and then it is up to us to live according to those rules as best as we can. Allah won’t blame us for trying!

However, aside from that what do you wish us to do? Do you want us to lie down and let go of our convictions as a means of moving on with the times? Should we just forget about hijab, and drinking, and gambling because it’s ok with everyone else?

NO! Why should we give up on our principles just so we can make everyone else happy? We have to respect ourselves enough to stand up for what we truly believe in, so I don’t know how you would want us to modernize. I truly don’t.

I think Islam is perfect, I truly believe that. However, I do not believe we are perfect, so that leads to all these problems. All the hurting, suffering and injustices apparent.

I often hear that we are given a brain to think for ourselves with, and I agree. I mean, Allah has truly blessed us with a brain, but He has also blessed us with knowledge. We do not know everything, and we can sit here and analyze till the end of times but we will never know the answer to everything. We will never fully comprehend all that is around us, simply because, though we were blessed with knowledge that knowledge is limited. The only One who truly knows everything is Allah, and if He wants us to know something He’ll teach us.

So I find it very pretentious how people can go around and question absolutely everything, thinking that there will be an answer. Thinking that unless there is solid proof there is no way it can be.

Don’t get me wrong I believe that it’s healthy to question things because maybe we look harder for the answer which therefore means we truly with all our heart want to understand it, and this helps our faith. But to always rely on the limited knowledge we have kind of worries me. I mean, sometimes you just have to have faith. You just have to believe, maybe then and only then will you find your answer.

I don’t know for certain, and I wonder if I ever will, but I do know that we should just try and be open-minded.

This may be going off topic but I truly believe in what Allah say’s, that for every mustard seed of good we do we will be rewarded and for every mustard seed of evil we will be punished accordingly. (That’s basically what it says, more or less). Which leads me to believe that every person be them Christian, Jewish, Muslim, Buddhist, Hindu, et cetera that does good will be rewarded.

So maybe instead of always criticizing Islam and that it is in time of some revamping, think about the fact that there are many evils in this world and Islam, which means to Submit to God isn’t the problem, but the people. And that goes for every person, because all the wars and injustices in this world weren’t started by Muslims or Islam. We’re all at fault here.

Take care and have a good night.
~Pink Gerbera~

P.S. I apologize if I veered from the path a few times on here.

My Sister Zarah

2006-03-27T10:30:00.000-08:00

Salam Folks!

Ok, so I don't know what to do in terms of an update so I thought 'what the heck, I'll post a short story I wrote.' And so, that's what I guess I'm going to do.

Till Next Time...Have a great day!
~Pink Gerbera~

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

My Sister Zarah

It is a nice spring day, in which the afternoon sun shines warmly, and the light breeze whispers past, a stern reminder that summer is not yet come.
I hug my light jacket closer to my body as I continue to make my way down the road to the park.

The park is serene, decorated with poplars, firs and even a few apple trees with sweet white budding flowers. The river, usually fiercer is calmer today as it makes it way past. If ever one truly needs to escape be it to think, or even read this would be the place to come.

I turn off the paved path and head upon a dirt path which leads me to a bank of the river. I continue to make my way, as the sweet songs of the birds carry me to a worn wooden bench.

It is there that I see her. She sits quietly reading from a worn Qur’aan, believing she has escaped from the world, in to a more relaxed one where no one may feel sorry for her. I know this young woman, with her white scarf draping elegantly on her head. She sits there, tall and unseeing.

“Assalamu Alaykum.” I say, sending peace upon her. She looks up, but her eyes do not give away any sense of shock. Instead they shine, clear, blue and serene. She has been expecting me.

“Walaykum Salam Lailah.” She replies, a soft smile playing across her lips.

“I wasn’t sure I would find you here. But I hoped I would.” I wipe the seat and then settle down beside her.

Neither of us speaks for a moment, as we sit there looking out at the rivers dark blue abyss. The sun lightly sparkles off the surface revealing the many colors, while other parts remain shadowed. The silence, is a somewhat comfortable one, the type you would expect between two sisters. However there remains oddness to it, an oddness expected since neither of us has seen the other in over two years.
The silence is broken by a blue bird which has decided to take refuge in a nearby apple tree.

“I brought sweet tea.” I offer passing my eldest sister a bottle of homemade sweetened green tea.

“Thanks. I guess neither of us has changed much over two years.” She remarks, as she takes a small sip of tea.

“That’s to be expected I suppose. Well, except maybe that my last name is different. I think that’s all.” I uncap my own bottle of tea and slowly begin to sip from it. It’s refreshing, sweet as it makes it way down my throat.

She looks at me, studying my features as though she may never see me again.

“You’re right. You haven’t changed a bit. Except that in four months you’ll be adding an addition to the family.”

I smile, turning my head to study her. She looks tired, with black circle etched beneath her crystal eyes, and thinner. Yes, she looks like she has lost at least thirty pounds. But besides those visible alterations she is still warm, and beautiful like she has always been.

“Yes. You’ll finally get to be an aunt. And knowing you, you’ll probably end up spoiling her to death which though sweet, will probably be hell for poor strict me.”

She smiles again, a sadness appearing in her eyes. She doesn’t think I’ve seen it, but I know her eyes. I know when she’s happy, just like I know that she’s sad, and tired.

“It’s…a…a girl?” She asks, her voice full of joy.

“Yeah, it’s a girl!”

And then she starts crying. I have rarely seen my sister cry. She has always been known for her undying strength, wisdom and lack of tears so seeing her do so now in front of me in what seems has been ages pulls strongly at my soul.

I pull her in to my arms and I begin to weep silently in to her silk head scarf. I knew it would be hard to see her again, I just never knew it would be this hard.

“Subhana’Allah.” She says through a light intake of breath. “Subhana’Allah.”

She repeats it over and over.

Finally, after we have both settled down a bit I lift her up and look in her eyes. It’s an odd feeling that comes over me, for as long as I can remember it was always she who lifted me up, cradled me, it was always she who wiped away my tears. But today; today was my turn. My turn to care for her like she has for me all those years, and I can’t help but feel that the tables have turned and that more then anything I owe her.

“I’m moving back home.” I tell her.

She stiffens in my arms and looks at me with intense eyes.

“No! No, you can’t do that Lailah.” She demands.

“Yes I can. I want to, and my mind has already been made up.”

She turns away and for a few minutes says nothing, only looking out unseeing at the river in front of us.

I know that I can not speak; I can not say anything until she has first. I know that if I speak she will retreat in to herself like she has always done. She will block me out.

“I can’t let you do that Lailah. I just can’t. You are married to a wonderful man, and expecting a child. I can’t expect you to put your life on hold for me. I won’t let you, it’s not fair to you.”

This is a typical answer from my older sister. She never wants to intrude on anyone else life. She has always been the caregiver; she has never wanted people to do the same for her. But I will not budge, I have made up my mind.

“I’m not putting anything on hold. Zayed and I both think it’s a good idea. In fact even if he didn’t agree I would be here. I’m not going anywhere so don’t push me away…please.”

“But…you’re expecting a child Lailah. Don’t be silly ok? You can’t do this, you’ll just make me feel guilty.”

I turn her towards me and this time I do not remove my eyes from hers.

“You have cancer Zarah. You’ve had cancer for the last two years and you never once phoned to tell me. Not once did you hint that anything was wrong. Instead you made me go on believing that everything was fine, that you were fine. How do I find out? I have to get a phone call from our little sister at five in the morning because you’re puking up blood and she knows that if she doesn’t tell me you never will. And all I could think the whole time from booking my flight, to sitting for six hours in the airplane, to sitting in a greyhound for the four hours it takes to get down here, was why wouldn’t she tell me? Why wouldn’t she let me know that she was hurting? That she needed me? Why would she let me go on believing everything was fine and then have someone call me one day to tell me she was dead and I wouldn’t know why? I wouldn’t know that I had some time to spend with my dearest friend before she left. All I kept thinking was why?”

I am crying hard now, the tears are just falling down with no end in sight. But I continue I can’t stop until she understands.

“So please, please don’t tell me I can’t put my life on hold. You, for the last twenty six years have been my life. You are so dear to me, and I want to be here with you so don’t push me away. Stop trying to push me away. Stop thinking that I can’t care for you. I want to and that’s it.”

This time, she pulls me in to her arms once again bringing our worlds back to the way they’ve always been. But this time, she too is crying and hugging back, because this time she realizes she does need someone.

For the rest of the day we sit in each others company, exchanging few words, yet few are needed. We sip on tea, and eat our supper. We recline on the porch swing, and we retell stories of our youth. We pray Ishaa together and recite a few verses from her worn Qur’aan which she carries with her everywhere tucked in her breast pocket. And when it begins to get cool, we go inside where I put her to bed in front of the window where she watches the moon slip in and out of a blanket of dark clouds. Where she silently falls asleep; and as I leave to go my own bed she opens her eyes and whispers “don’t leave.”

Just as quietly I respond, “I won’t.” I go back to her and slip in beside her and together we watch to moon dance across the night sky.

As I close my eyes and begin to dream she visits me as we travel to a foreign land.

I stay with her all night, and then all month. Caring for her, and never leaving her side. And on the dawn of the last week of May she travels with me again in our sleep and as she prepares to ride away she turns to me and whispers one last thing;
“Goodnight Lailah, I love you.” She says.

As I whisper back, “Zarah, don’t go yet. We still have time.”

She shakes her head, then kisses me on the cheek, and places a small leather pouch in my hand, as she lightly kicks the horse and rides away to a land I will never see. To a place where we no longer can sit together, laughing, and telling stories.

Three months have passed as I sit on the same porch where we had that night so many weeks ago, and in a cradle lays my angel Zarah fast asleep as I read to her a verse from a worn Qur’aan, that was left for me in a leather pouch. A verse that has been bookmarked by a white rose petal;

“You sometimes see the earth dry and barren: but no sooner do We send down rain upon it than it begins to stir and swell, putting forth every kind of radiant bloom. That is because Allah is Truth: He gives life to the dead and has power over all things.” 22:5

A Touching Story

2006-03-23T19:53:00.000-08:00

Salam!

I don't know how many of you like Oprah Winfrey, or for that matter watch her show, but sometimes she just has some really good things to talk about.

Like today, I happened to catch her show while eating lunch and I must say that it just touched me so much. It was so touching/sad/eye opening et cetera.

Here is the link, please go look at it

http://www2.oprah.com/tows/slide/200512/20051201/slide_20051201_350_101.jhtml

This story really made me tear up a lot because like so many others stories of suffering I guess it always tends to hit me smack in the face, that I really should have no reason to complain. Especially, especially when you see what others have to go through, and that even with what they have to go through they still have the power to smile.

OK, they can still smile!!!

They have cried, and they have suffered but they happen to find this little light inside that makes them smile. I mean, I'll be honest seeing what others have to go through I really feel stupid for the times that I tend to feel sorry for myself.

I've said it once, and I'll say it again, we all have our own trials and tribulations that we must endure, because that's life. However, I'd have to say that I feel like a putz when I'm moppy because something didn't go how I wanted it too.

What touched me most about this story was the strength of these, well, for the most part young women and sometimes girls. I mean, these are fighters people, they're poor, and suffering but they WILL NOT give up, and I suppose again that makes one re-evaluate ones self.

I mean, I'm blessed. I truly am, Alhamduillah x million. Sometimes we don't realize just how lucky we truly are. Or spoiled? I feel spoiled. And ashamed that I complain. Poor lil me. Astighfurillah.

The fact that Dr. Catherine Hamlin has dedicated over fifty years of her life to giving these young women another shot is so...Endearing? Self-less? Intriguing? Wonderful? Touching?

So many things. Seeing people like Dr. Hamlin really inspires me. You know, like WE can make a difference, with the help of God. It reminded me why I had initially wanted to become a doctor.

It just so nice to see people doing things. I'm so happy these women get another chance and that with the help of this doctor and Allah (s.w.t) that they are able to start again.

There was one part in particular that just got the tears going. After these women have had their surgeries and have recovered Dr. Hamlin gives each of them a brand new dress and scarf as a sign of new beginnings.

Gosh, to see the looks on the faces of these women was just...amazing. You can tell it meant the world to them.

You know, there really are so many strong people out there and both these young women and the dr's that help are an example.

May Allah give them strength and happiness...ameen.

Take care and have a great night.

~pink gerbera~

Women

2006-03-22T19:57:00.000-08:00

Salam!

I hear a lot about strong women. You know powerful, confident, gorgeous, independent, et cetera, et cetera, and this sort of got be thinking. What is a strong woman? So I thought about for a while, and then clear as rain it came to me. My perception of what a strong woman is.

I think we all have these images of what we want to become. A vision of what we think would constitute a perfect “us”. Naturally most of us are aware that to be perfect is to live in a fantasy, simply because there is no such thing as “perfect”. The only One that is such is the One that created us. Subhana’Allah!

However that doesn’t mean that we still don’t set this bar of where we would like to be. Where we think we might be closest to our own definitions of perfect. Everyone, to some extent or another has a different definition of perfection. To some, it may be that they were top of their class in Honors English at university. To others it may be that they are slim, trim, and flawless. Who knows? To each, their own.

I, like everyone else have a goal or image in my mind as to what I believe is close to perfection; my own set bar that I would eventually with time like to reach, though never clear. This image goes hand in hand with what I perceive to be a strong woman.

My biggest inspirations and role models when it comes to growing as a woman are women of the past. Woman held in great esteem in the Qur’aan.

For example;

Mariam to me seems to be the epitome of strength and faith, and I think she spews with femininity, in that she was so pure. It’s just something about her modesty, her willingness to learn and become knowledgeable that really intrigues me. As well as the fact that she gave birth to such a wonderful man, Isa (a.s) by the will of Allah (s.w.t).

I also really look up to many of our Sahabah’s wives and of course the wives of the Prophet, especially Khadijah and Aisha. Two women I truly admire. Khadijah for her strength beside Muhammad (s.a.w.s), as the first follower of Islam, and Aisha for her eagerness to be knowledgeable and therefore to share her knowledge with those around her, as well as her bravery when they went to war.

Then we have Umm Sulaym for her dignity and firm stand, as she didn’t accept Abu Talhah at first because he thought that his material possessions could secure her love alone. Something many women in the present seem to be all about, not all, but many. And then we have Sumayya who didn’t bend even an inch to give up what she so dearly believed in. She stood strong and loyal, and for it was killed. But even though she was badly tortured and later killed she didn’t give up!

I look at these women as just a few examples and I find that together they are just so confident and strong. It has nothing to do with whether or not I bring in a check that has six figures, or have the best Harvard degree, to me it’s all about a greater knowledge, a confidence, purity, and a faith that these women possessed.

Not that women aren’t strong today. No, that’s not what I’m saying because that’s not true. For example, many of our mothers? To be a mother isn’t easy, and if you’re a good one it’s even harder. As we know “Heaven is at the feet of thy mother.”

Which therefore leads me to my image of what I would like to become; a vision of my own semi-perfection.

To me the road to perfection seems to be more about working from the inside out.

This world is riddled with trials, even if that trial seems as small as NOT eating the chocolate bar because we KNOW it will ruin our fight to be healthy, or getting a good mark on that History paper.

I’m not without faults and I will be the first to declare such, but there is this hunger I have to become a better person, a more stronger and knowledgeable Muslim! And so I look to those women who I find have achieved that goal and I pray that one day, maybe I’ll be close to that too.

It’s a high bar to set, and like all things is best to be attacked slowly but there honestly isn’t a women I respect more then one who stands up for her beliefs, who is confident in those beliefs and who humbles herself before Allah knowing that she knows little and that there is always more to learn.

Which means, that in reality our bars should never be made to be cleared, because there is always something in which we can improve. Isn’t there?

I’m sure none of this makes sense, but consider it my brain waves splattered across the screen. As well as a much needed update.

Take care and have a great day.

~Pink Gerbera~

Yackity Yack

2006-03-15T09:04:00.000-08:00

Salam (Peace)!

Oh-my-goodness today is such a beautiful day. I love it when the sun is shining so wonderfully in the sky, warming up and illuminating everything around it in the morning. And it's not a dull afternoon sort of sun but that sharp, crisp sunshine. Does that make sense?

Anyway, so I've been going to sleep much earlier now that I've overcome my insomnia (technically I never "had" insomnia but I had bad sleeping habits) I get up much earlier. Which, I have to admit is really quite nice, because you get a start on the day so much earlier. Whether or not you accomplish more...well that's up to debate.

But, I was up early this morning (Alhamduillah) and so decided to go to the library and then later to the restaurant to eat my breakfast. I just soaked up the sun! It. Was. Gorgeous. Subhana'Allah. As I made my way to the library you could see the mountains in the background, strong masses with still very snow covered tops, and the fields all around.

Plus, where I live it's all pleasantville-ish, in that everyone knows everyone more-or-less and therefore we always wave and say goodmorning/day whenever we pass by. So it's really quite warm, and welcoming. Which is probably why when I was in Montreal not to long ago I found everyone to be really rude. Why? People just don't smile at you...like, period. Not even cashiers!

This, I must add really got to me, because in the western part of Canada everyone is more friendlier (so I've noticed anyway.) Even when you don't know the person you smile, or say 'Hello.' That's what I'm used to. So when I was in Montreal visiting my brother and I was smiling or saying 'Hello' to the cashiers or whatever they just looked at me like I was crazy! And I'm not even someone who is very extroverted. Honestly, most of the time I barely speak with others. But a simple smile, or 'Hello' now, even I can manage that, but there...yeah right.

That's ok though, their pretty surrounding suburbs and hip downtown more then make up for it. Though I prefer the suburbs myself, now those were gorgeous there!

Moving on...

I had soup for breakfast. SOUP! For breakfast, no less. No, it's not because I have nothing else "breakfasty" in my house, it's just that we're doing this sort of cleanse thing, in which you each a really good vegetable soup for seven days. It's more complicated than that, I mean there are way more rules. Like on day one, you only eat the soup and fruit (save for bananas). But spring is the best time to flush out the toxins and impurities in your body, giving you a fresh and lighter start to summer!

Everyone should clean out their bodies, much like spring cleaning actually. It's very refreshing, but I do warn, quite difficult in the first few days. According to nutritionists you should cleanse at least twice a year.

And last but not least .....

My lil brother bought me Howls Moving Castle! I feel so special. But I rented already and watched it, and yes...it rox my sox!

And that's not all...I also bought myself Whisper of the Heart! My Hayao Miyazaki collection is slowly building. This movie also was really good.

Ok. Well the news is on in the background and I, in usual 'Pink Gerbera' style am late to know, but France is having problems again. This time a bomb went off on the auto-route? I think, and I must say that now I'm kind of upset and sad. WHY!?

I'm going to look this up.

Till next time, have a great day!
~Pink Gerbera~

Frim Fram Sauce

2006-03-13T18:49:00.000-08:00

Salam!

So today was for the most part quite uneventful, which hey, is ok. I mean, if we were all to have crazy life styles none of us would ever have time to write about them, which may mean that then there might be no such thing as a blog? Could that be possible? That's deep, wouldn't you think? Or maybe if most of us didn't have what is commonly refered to as uneventful days how would those others who do shine? They would never be able to be like, "OMG, today I went to Rome what did you do?" And I'd be like, "Well today I went to Egypt. In your face." Then what? It'd be like, "Ummm, big deal." But I believe in letting people who need to shine, shine, it helps in maintaing that equilibrium.

Hands up to those who have no idea what the heck I'm talking about?

That's what I thought. It's ok, it happens. People usually don't know what I'm talking about, which is why I come equipped with translators.

Anyway, I am quite content in my not-so-hectic lifestyle, Alhamduillah. More or less I know what to expect so when little things change I notice, and therefore really appreciate them.

Moving on...

Now I'm not sure how many of you listen to music occasionally. Anyone? No, there's no need to raise your hands.

Anyway, it's funny how catchy a tune can become when you haven't heard it ions. For example, we have a restaurant and therefore we have music that plays for the customers. Now, my folks aren't all for modern day mu-zack so we tend to have more classy CD's. Basically Jazz, Classical, and sweet serenadors such as Frankie (Frank Sinatra), and due to this I have a varied palette when it comes to music.

One of my favorite styles is Jazz, because well, it's smooth and usually doesn't result in me getting a headache, a huge plus. Anyway, so I like all those old smooth tunes, and today I had to do my homework at the resto and they happened to be playin a Diana Krall CD with one of my favorite songs. Frim Fram Sauce. Now I have to say that I was sick of this CD for the longest times because it gets played quite a lot and there's really only so much music let alone Diana I can take. But I hadn't heard it in a while so it was again a catchy tune.

However, what exactly is frim fram sauce? Anyone? I always seem to wonder that to myself while I listen to the song.

"I don't want french fried potatoes
Red ripe tomatoes,
I'm never satisfied,
I want my Frim Fram Sauce..."

Maybe a google search would answer this question?

I know, it's not even an important question but sometimes weird things get you.

Ok, now I think would be a good time to log off and put in a Qur'anic CD.

Take care everyone.

~Pink Gerbera~

Not Yet ... But Read

2006-03-11T10:21:00.000-08:00

Salam (Peace)!

Nope, yet again this isn't my book meme. I know, get on it already!!! I am...I'm just either slow or lazy, you take your pick.

Anyway I got e-mailed what I'm about to post and really liked it so I'm going to post it here. Also I really want you guys to read this article by sunni sister, it is very good masha'Allah, and very true! http://www.sunnisisters.com/?p=1250#more-1250

Read it! Plus it was something I also wanted to discuss but find she did so much better.

Now for what I got e-mailed. Enjoy.

A BEAUTIFUL PRAYER

Dear Brothers and Sisters in IslamI asked Allah to take away my habit.Allah said, No.It is not for me to take away, but for you to give it up.

I asked Allah to make my handicapped child whole.
Allah said, No.
His spirit is whole, his body is only temporary

I asked Allah to grant me patience.
Allah said, No.
Patience is a byproduct of tribulations;it isn't granted, it is learned.

I asked Allah to give me happiness.
Allah said, No.
I give you blessings; Happiness is up to you.

I asked Allah to spare me pain.
Allah said, No.
Suffering draws you apart from worldly caresand brings you closer to me.

I asked Allah to make my spirit grow.
Allah said, No.
You must grow on your own!,but I will prune you to make you fruitful.

I asked Allah for all things that I might enjoy life.
Allah said, No.
I will give you life, so that you may enjoy all things.

I ask Allah to help me LOVE others, as much as He loves me.
Allah said...Ahhhh, finally you have the idea.

THIS DAY IS YOURS DON'T THROW IT AWAY

May Allah Bless You,
"To the world you might be one person, but to oneperson you just might be the world"For all the negative things we have to say to selvesAllah has a positive answer for it.

You say: "It's impossible"
Allah says: All things are possibleYou say:
"I'm too tired"Allah says: I will give you rest
You say: "I can't go on"
Allah says: My grace is sufficient

You say: "I can't figure things out"
Allah says: I will direct your steps
You say: "I can't do it"Allah says: You can do all things
You say: "I'm not able"Allah says: I am able

You say: "It's not worth it"
Allah says: It will be worth it
You say: "I can't forgive myself"
Allah says: I FORGIVE YOU

You say: "I can't manage"
Allah says: I will supply all your needs
You say: "I'm afraid"
Allah says: I have not given you a spirit of fear

You say: "I'm always worried and frustrated"
Allah says: Cast all your cares on ME
You say: "I don't have enough faith"
Allah says: I've given everyone a measure of faith

You say: "I'm not smart enough"
Allah says: I give you wisdom
You say: "I feel all alone"
Allah says: I will never leave you or forsake you

You say: "Nobody really loves me"
Allah says: I love you

May Allah Be Pleased With all muslims Ameen.I love each and every muslim for the Pleasure of Allah !"It is in rememberance of Allah that the heart finds peace"
Fee Aman Allah

(This is for all fellow Muslims but also for all those who do good, be them Christian, Jewish etc.)

Take Care.
~Pink Gerbera~

Really Short

2006-03-09T09:00:00.000-08:00

Salam!

Okedoke so I don't have much to say, which isn't really such a big suprise, but I thought I'd just say something. I am working on a book meme, and will hopefully have that up soon. BUT, gosh it is hard to think of what ones favorite books are, espeically when one has many. Oh well.

I really have to get done with this assignment I need to hand in. It's annoying, and just seems to be haunting me. But today I WILL GET IT DONE! Hopefully.

I got a new anime series, it's called "Full Metal Panic" it's in Japanese but has english subtitles (I've been come expert at subtitles thanks to all the bollywood) and I must say it's really good. Really pretty funny too, so I sort of got side tracked yesterday from my assignment. I know...tisk tisk.

What else.......umm, besides that nothing new and exciting. But I really have to go and do my assignment, it just won't leave me alone.

Till next time...take care.
~Pink Gerbera~

An Interesting Read

2006-03-05T14:06:00.000-08:00

Salam!

Here's an interesting article that I got sent, which speaks about the need for Muslim women to get more involved in da'wah activities. It's really cool, and I find it an important issue. TO THE WOMEN! You go girls.

Note: I don't know how many of you that read this blog are Muslim, but many of the things I post are directly attributed to my faith. But please read, you don't have to agree with what it says. Thanks and take care.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Women in Da'wah
By Abdul Lateef M. al-Hassan & Sumayyah bint Joan al-Jumu'ah Magazine

From the very beginning, women have played vital roles in the propagation of the fundamental truths of Islamic da'wah. From the sacrifices of Sumayyah, to the collected Ahadeeth of Aisha, women have been instrumental in the flourishing and spreading of this deen. Unfortunately during these times, the Islamic revival suffers from weaknesses in its properly qualified personnel, which limits its spreading and restricts the da'wah work to an elitist group of activists, with finite and limited efforts of da'wah and tarbiyah being focused on women.
Da'wah amongst women deserves, and should get, far more attention than it does. So far, except in a few instances, women have been distanced from the field of da'wah work. If we look at the reality, and the situation of Islamic da'wah work, and the position of women in it today, we can easily find the following problems:

1- Deficiency in da'wah capabilities among and by women.

2- The ill use of existing limited-resources in combination with a lack of personal initiative on the part of women.

3- A neglect or omission of women's issues in the planning of Islamic da'wah.

4- Absence of strong tarbiyah and the lack of fundamental Islamic knowledge in the da'iyat (female callers) in the field of da'wah. Only a few of the wives and daughters of dou'at (male callers) have any worthwhile Islamic knowledge.

5- Most women do not possess a proper understanding the role of da'wah made incumbent on their husbands. Because of this, they may not understand the importance of time given to projects outside the home, which in turn may, become a source of tension within the home.

6- The level of general Islamic knowledge among most women is low.

7- Women's da'wah programs, as well as overall da'wah programs and institutions are rare, and not well organized.

ROOTS of the PROBLEM

Many obstacles and restraints have been the causes behind the weakness and neglect of da'wah work amongst women. One they have been recognized and analyzed, viable solutions can be sought and implemented.

One major reason, is that many men are not convinced about the importance of women's role and responsibilities in the field of da'wah. The Qur'anic verse "...remain at your homes..." [33:33] has been misinterpreted by many, and so has the right of stewardship or Qawama. In many instances we see men objecting to women's participation in da'wah and thus preventing them from fulfilling their role toward their fellow Muslims and to the larger society in general. Spreading Islam has been made incumbent on all Muslims, men and women.

"It is vital that husbands encourage their wives to participate in da'wah work," said Dr. Aisha Hamdan, Director of the Islamic Education Foundation, based in Minneapolis, Minnesota. She has a Ph. D. in Clinical Psychology with a specialty in child and family issues. She teaches at a private university in the Twin Cities. The IEF is a two-year-old organization, with one of its goals being, to increase the level of awareness and to provide training in giving da'wah, amongst Muslim women and men. "They should encourage them to spread the message of this deen, perhaps by taking them along when they go out, and by instructing them on the proper ways of giving presentations about Islam."

A more particular reason is the absence or confusion of priorities in the minds of dou'at. Many of them have been overwhelmed and distracted by the state of the Ummah, even to the extent of ignoring to give proper attention to their homes and families. Their energies having been exhausted in the work outside the home, leaving them with nothing left for their families. This imbalance hurts not only the families, but also the community as a whole.

The level of women's education and awareness of their position and responsibility plays an important role. As education and awareness decline, women become disinterested, their level of giving and sense of sacrifice weakens. "Unfortunately, not a lot of Muslim women feel that they know enough about Islam to share it with others. They need to realize that it is their responsibility to obtain that knowledge and then share it with others. Many women also feel uncomfortable presenting to groups of people due to various reasons." Dr. Hamdan said. "This is why we are conducting training sessions here, about how to conduct da'wah. We are committed to trying to arm women with the necessary skills, that will give them the confidence to take up this very important, and often neglected role in their lives as Muslims."

Indulgence in luxuries, even if they are halal things, usually force women to devote more time to them and less time to doing da'wah. This also happens when they find it difficult to balance rights with duties. Sometimes women lose perspective, forgetting that the work inside the home is the core of their mission. By neglecting this role, or when they fail to arrange their priorities, and get tied to a job that distracts them, they ultimately fail at fulfilling their da'wah roles both inside and outside the home. "For many women, their jobs as wife, mother, cook, and teacher, inside their homes, are so time consuming, that the main barrier to engaging in da'wah work is oftentimes, a lack of time itself," said Dr. Hamdan. "This is why it is so important for husbands to be supportive to their wives in fulfilling their obligations both within and outside the home."

Another unfortunate reality is that most da'wah organizations have failed to absorb and utilize the energies of women, and have also failed to adjust their plans and programs in a way that would incorporate women as core assets in their da'wah work.

The media, and many other elements of the promiscuous society we live in, have had major impacts on the psyche of Muslim women. This psychic crippling has kept many women away from their mission and distorted the image of Islam in the minds of most of them.

A Desired ROLE for the MUSLIM WOMEN

A Crucial Role:According to recent data, there are more women accepting Islam in this country, than any other group. The same can be said of Canada, England and many other places. A recent survey Al Jumuah magazine have conducted in the Dominican Republic, showed that about 75% of those who accepted Islam among the natives were women. Because of this, there is a tremendous need for Muslim women to participate in the field of da'wah. " The role of calling to this deen, does not stop at the pronunciation of the Shahada," Dr. Hamdan said. "Women are needed to help other women come to Islam, and are needed to instruct them after they become Muslims." The reasons women's participation is important are various and diverse:

1. Women are more capable than men are in communicating with other women. Women are usually more affected by word, deed, and conduct of other women, more so than by men. Women are more capable of recognizing the particularities and problems associated with women's education and tarbiyah.

2. Women can better comprehend the direction in which women's da'wah work should be geared. They can best discern the order of priorities, because they are more familiar with this sphere.

3. Women are more free than men in communicating with other women, either individually for da'wah activities, or in women's learning and other forums and places of meeting.

4. Many Muslim women who are in need of guidance, education, and direction lack the presence of men-folk who can provide this service, therefore it makes sense that qualified women in the community should offer this.

5. The educational and the tarbiyah need of women are greater than that of men. They get pregnant, give birth, and nurse children. The children are more tied to them than they are to their fathers. Women stay at home with their sons and daughters, and thus can bring them up as they please. If they are not allowed to share in the da'wah efforts of their husbands, a lot of the much-needed results may not be attained.

6. Women have a great effect on their husbands. If they have strong emaan and character, they have a very good chance at helping their husbands become strong as well.

7. Women have a lot of characteristics that stress the importance of their da'wah role. They should also be taken into account whenever any da'wah work is planned. Some are:

* Women have the innate ability to communicate strongly what they believe to be true in their hearts. Dr. Hamdan also points out that, "Women are also generally stronger in terms of verbal abilities and emotionality."

* Women sometimes lack will power and a sense of direction, and therefore need the assistance of other women to give strength and motivation.

A Definite Role

The work of the Muslim woman in the field of da'wah strengthens the man's work, and it expand it into areas where her effectiveness supersedes that of the man. It is sad that this role is so grossly overlooked and underestimated. By her nature as a spiritual and psychological comforter of man, the woman can play an important role in da'wah, for a man cannot -if his mind is preoccupied with works and goals- cope with his own problems, let alone undertake the burdens of giving da'wah. Many have failed on the path of da'wah for this very reason. Khadija's comfort, help, and support of the Prophet, sallallaahu alayhe wa sallam, offer the greatest proof of the vital importance of this role. The Prophet's companions who left their homes to go places that were thousands of miles away to take the new religion to people also had the support and the backing of their wives.

Very few women today understand or are aware of such a role, let alone carry it out. A woman may think that the marriage home is a place of rest and easy. They have yet to realize that marriage is the starting point of struggle, sacrifice, giving and responsibility.

The woman's role does not end at door. She can be greatly effective by being a good example to others, by being good-hearted, kindly spoken, and of friendly conduct. She can offer assistance, and share concerns as well as joys. She can also use all appropriate opportunities to educate, guide and call others though observing the conditions of those whom she addresses.

Examples Are Needed

Women, who understood their role, started educating themselves and achieving their rights to education and tarbiyah. Look at the hadeeth narrated by Abu Saeed that the women said to the Prophet, sallallaahu alayhe wa sallam, "The men are keeping you busy and we do not get enough attention from you. Would you specify a day for us, women? He promised them a day to meet them and educate and admonish them." (Bukhari) The fruits of this understanding and concern by the women companions of the Prophet, sallallaahu alayhe wa sallam, and the attention he gave them, are shining examples and a source of pride for Muslim women. Here are a few more to ponder:

Here is Umm Sulaim teaching her son Anas Ibn Malik about Islam, even though her husband rejected Islam. When Abu Talha proposed to her (before accepting Islam) she told him that her dowry was Islam, he in-turn embraced Islam and she married him. She made her son Anas the servant of the Prophet, sallallaahu alayhe wa sallam. Umm Hakeem was the reason behind her husband embracing Islam, and the aunt of Adi ibn Hatem led him to Islam. Amra, the wife of Habib Al-Ajami would wake up her husband to make salah at night. Asmaa, the daughter of Abu Bakr, forbade her son, Abdullah ibn Az-Zubair, to accept a demeaning way out to escape death although she was very old and needed him beside her.

If we move to a wider circle, we will find that Muslim women played a great role in sacrifice and service for the religion of Allah. Sumayyah gave up her life when Abu Jahl killed her for becoming a Muslim. She was the first Muslim, and woman, killed in Islam. Khadijah, the first wife of the Prophet, who was very rich, spent of her money to support the da'wah. Umm Salamah left her husband and saw her children persecuted when she migrated. Umm Imarah fought in defense of the Prophet, sallallaahu alayhe wa sallam, in the Uhud battle. Tending the wounded in battles was the role Muslim Women played throughout history.

Building SUCCESSFUL Da'wah Programs

There are conditions that must be met for women's da'wah work to succeed and achieve its expected outcome. Many of the items in the following discussion are good to consider at all time, but it is always important to be in touch with the specific environment one is working with, study it and design all programs to fit the specific reality and needs.
First: Important Guidelines

The fact that we stress the importance of women's role in Islamic da'wah should not lead us away from keeping the women's creation, nature and priorities clear in mind. There are important points that should be used as guidelines when planning or doing da'wah work:

1- Typically, the woman's main role and job is at home. This is clearly stated in Qur'an and Hadeeth. Allah says, "And stay in your houses." [33:33] Of course women can go out for salah in the masjid, participate in any other activities she may need and to do da'wah. However, none of these activities should conflict with her essential duties at home as wife and mother. In many cases, it is this balance between the woman's essential duties and the requirements of da'wah work, that have caused problems and misunderstandings in families and communities. "Women may find ways to fulfill their da'wah obligations at home, such as engaging in office work for an Islamic organization, answering telephones, or any other number of possibilities, depending on the skills and interest of each woman, " she said.

2- There are special injunctions regarding women, and the mixing of men and women, that must be observed in any da'wah activity and under any circumstances:

a) Proper hijab between men and women must be observed at all times.
b) Women cannot travel without a male companion who is her mahram.
c) Women cannot intermix freely with men who are not directly related to her.
d) Women cannot exit from their homes except by permission of those who are in charge of them and care for them, i.e. their husbands or fathers.

3- The enemies of Islam usually exploit these injunctions and use them to defame Islam as demeaning to women. Some dou'at get affected by these allegations and they are thereby led to be lax and unmindful. The true dou'at guided by the Sunnah must watch out, lest they be affected by the lusts and whims of society.

4- Men have the original right in da'wah activities to take the lead as was the case in the age at the Prophet, sallallaahu alayhe wa sallam, and the excellent generations that followed. Women's role in da'wah work is undeniable, provided the appropriate guidelines are adhered to.

Second: Objectives of the Program:

As the Prophet, sallallaahu alayhe wa sallam, saw a need to set aside a specific time to address the needs of women in his community, so organizations should try to tailor their da'wah work to the women and issues of the communities. Any da'wah program directed towards women should strive to, at least, serve the following ends:

Strengthening the Emaan: This comes about by increasing worship, remembrance of Allah (thikr), and reflection on Allah's names, and His power and creation in ourselves and in the universe. There is great power in reflection. And its positive impact on one's heart and emaan is almost limitless. This however, would not be possible without the inculcation of the right understanding of certain issues related to our aqeedah; the emphasis has to be on Tawheed.

Increasing knowledge: Without it one cannot achieve much. Special emphasis has to be put on the basics of Islam and on subjects that the da'iyah needs in her environments. Knowledge should be spread about deviant thoughts, ideas, groups and sects. Awareness must be raised concerning those who do not like to see the spreading of Islam and who are gaining grounds in the hearts and minds of people.

Building of the da'wah personality: Da'wah requires sacrifices and therefore women must be prepared to bear the burdens of calling to Islam. This comes through awakening them to the conditions of the Muslims and the endeavors of the enemies of Islam. Leadership, responsibility and individual initiative should be taught. Theoretical and practical educational faculties must be nurtured. The da'iyah must be taught the necessary social skills and the importance of da'wah through good example and conduct. They also must be taught the value of time, its management and how to use halal fun activity during their times of leisure.

Building up immunity to sin: This includes recognizing the ills of sins, particularly those relating to women, and blocking the way to them by shunning the means leading to them and the places where they exist.

Third: Training

A- On the theoretical side of this step, preparation may need to consider these aspects:

1- Educational preparation through providing a good presentation of appropriates materials. Islam gave women the rights to education. The knowledge meant to be attained, is that which is helpful to women in da'wah, like the shari'ah branches and the disciplines leading to understanding them. But seeking knowledge should not be a barrier to giving da'wah, as is the case with many today. Balance must be maintained.

2- Psychological preparation by ensuring that the women callers have faith in Allah sincerity, hopefulness, coverage in truth, pride in Islam, patience, and knowledge of the conditions and environments of those they are addressing. This is a very important aspect of preparedness, because the preacher is tied to the people, who have different characters and inclinations.

3- Social preparation by having the women da'iyat live an Islamic life in the family and society in a practical application of Islam. They should abide by the ethics of Islam and of the da'wah. Capping the elements of social preparation is the feeling that the da'wah is a right to all people that must reach them with sincerity, generality, honesty, gentleness and meekness.

B- Adequate practical training and preparation is must:

This involves training female callers in speaking and writing to be able to bring Allah's religion to the people through speeches, lessons, lectures, and writing. These are the methods of addressing people with the da'wah and they complete the theoretical preparation and ensure that it bears fruit. This aspect has largely been neglected resulting in severe shortcomings in the da'wah.

Da'iyat delivering lectures, seminars, sermons, etc. should be able to persuade the listeners by addressing their minds through proofs and evidence. They should also be able to arouse their passions, emotions, and feelings. Those making speeches and addresses must be well versed in the art and its importance, and should also practice delivering speeches to women in mosques, schools, or other places where women gather. They should also watch over and guide women trainees, and gently correct their mistakes.

Writing and publishing must not be neglected in an age when people are easily reached by and engrossed in all sorts of books, booklets, newspapers, and articles. Writings should both be eloquent and convincing, through sincere, sound and documented arguments. Writing is the form of da'wah which is in many ways one of the most appropriate and important means for women. They can write at home and thus make use of their spare time. They can in this way reach all classes of society.

AREAS of Da'wah for WOMEN

The educational field: These are related to the ennoblement of the spirit and the purification of the soul through faith. The minds and souls can thus be touched. These fields are to be found in mosques, schools, associations, da'wah groups, and others.

The social field: These relate to bodily and psychological health as well as to social development and interaction between people that reflect positively on the realization of spiritual education and the formation of Muslim character.

Both sides, spiritual and physical, are tied together and they should both be fulfilled in balance. To give the upper hand to the soul would be asceticism, and to the body would be hedonism. Fulfilling the physical needs has often been cause for many people embracing the guidance of Islam. Preachers of Christianity today, concentrate on this approach. It is difficult for the hungry, the naked, or the sick and homeless to listen to sermons.

More specific example of what women can take part in as da'wah are:

1. The Home: This is surely the most fertile and most effective channel. Allah has ordained both husbands and wives as nurtures for each other and the family. The mother shares with the father the responsibilities of educating and nurturing in all physical, moral, psychological, social, and external aspects each other and their children. Members of the family are gathered together in the home for many hours and this creates harmony among them as well as affords an opportunity for presenting good examples and guidance.

2. The Muslim Community: Charity, advice, and direction can be offered to relatives, neighbors, and the needy.

3. The Islamic School: Educational activities and curriculums can be used for the guidance of girl students as well as women teachers and staff.

4. The Masjid: Women should be allowed to go to the masajid to benefit from the lessons held there. The masjid is a suitable place for some of the women activities like Qur'an study groups and other training.

5. Hospitals, Prisons, and Social Welfare Institutions, Women's Colleges or Universities. "Women-only conferences can also be incorporated into an already scheduled major conferences, thus providing them with someone to travel with," Dr. Hamdan says.

"Also, da'wah work can be done on an individual level; such as with friends, families, peers, particularly those who are not Muslims, "said Dr. Hamdan. "Many women who have converted to Islam have families who are non-Muslim and this is a prime, although challenging, opportunity to do da'wah work."

What the Qur'an and Sunnah Said:

Muslim Women, Callers and Called

Certainly, the injunctions of Islam, from the Qur'an and the Sunnah, cover and apply to both males and females. Male pronouns were usually used mostly, only because that is the custom of the language. Nevertheless, there are certain injunctions that are exclusively meant for men. And at the same time, Allah has enjoined things upon women only. This shows that they have a character and a personality independent of men. This stresses the need to address women with the da'wah, education, reform, and guidance, in a way that is specific to them. They should not be ignored. It was on account of this that the Prophet, sallallaahu alayhe wa sallam, addressed women specifically, especially after addressing men, and that he fixed a special day of the week on which he taught them alone.

Qur'an tells us that man is responsible for his home and family, "O you who believe! Ward off from yourselves and your families a Fire (Hell) whose fuel is men and stones, over which are angel stern and severe," [66:6]. And the Prophet, sallallaahu alayhe wa sallam, also said, "The man is a shepherd of his family and he is responsible for his guardianship." (Bukhari and Muslim) In another hadeeth, the Prophet's, sallallaahu alayhe wa sallam, told of a double reward for the man who teaches well, cultivates and then frees any female-slave he has. (Bukhari) This surely stresses the need for the education of and care for women. On the other hand, there are many evidences from the Qur'an and the Sunnah that testify to the fact that women are also obligated to do da'wah work:

1- There many verses in the Qur'an that obligate Muslim men and women to do da'wah, and enjoin good and forbid evil. For example, Allah says, "Let there arise out of you a group of people inviting to all that is good (Islam), enjoining good and forbidding evil. And it is they who are the successful." [3:104]

2- Women have been expressly addressed with the duty of the da'wah because Allah, subhanahu wa ta'ala, says, "O wives of the Prophet! You are not like any other women. If you keep your duty (to Allah) then be not soft in speech, lest he in whose heart is a disease should be moved with desire, but say that which is Ma'roof (good)." [33:32] Ibn Abbas understood Allah's injunction to the Prophet's wives, to "say good," to mean that they have to enjoin what is good and forbid what is evil. This can be taken as a general address to all Muslim women. Allah also says, "The believers, men and women are Auliya (helpers, protectors) of one another, they enjoin the good and forbid the evil, they perform salah and give away zakah and obey Allah." [9:71] It is clear in this verse that women are addressed with this task, just as men, whenever they are capable of discharging it. The Prophet, sallallaahu alayhe wa sallam, said, "The woman is a steward of her husband's home and children and she is responsible for them." A steward here is a person entrusted with what has been put in his charge, cherishing and preserving it.

Furthermore, the following points, when properly put into perspective, also lead to the understanding that women are as responsible for carrying out da'wah as men are:

a) Because Islam prohibits the free intermingling of men and women, and the maintenance of hijab, it becomes vital, as well as practical, to have qualified women to do da'wah work among women in the community.

b) Some of the shari'ah rulings were reported from the Prophet, sallallahu alayhe wa sallam, only through women companions.

c) Sometimes, it is difficult for the male-dou'at to carry out all that the da'wah among women requires because women have some private conditions that they may not feel comfortable revealing to men, and would rather convey them only to other women.

What We Sow We Reap

1. Banishing ignorance, increasing intellectual broad-mindedness, and the creation of qualified women da'wah cadres. These results have a lasting and beneficial influence, not only on women and the Muslim community, but also on the whole society at large.

2. Rectifying conduct and restitution of many erroneous practices that have come to be social phenomenon in many societies.

3. Da'iyat will develop maturity and show more disciplined characters. This in turn will result in stronger relationships between men and women.

4. Women's place and status in Islam would be highlighted and Muslim women would attain a better awareness of their rights and duties.

5. Efforts would be geared toward the cultivating of our young people, in order to ensure the Ummah, virtuous Muslims in the generations to come.

6. A sense of belonging to Islam would be fostered, and the key Muslim rite of enjoining good and forbidding the evil would be upheld.

7. An important financial tributary for da'wah work would be secured; i.e., women's charitable spending.

It is time that Muslims who profess to follow the Sunnah rethink the issue of dawah among women and by women. We should remember Khadijah, Aisha, Sumayyah, and many other Muslim women throughout our history, and what they did for Islam and learn from it. We also have to realize that mere talk and emotionalism are useless. We need to do something about our immediate situation now. Education, preparation, and qualification of women will be the key to our future success. Throughout history, the yardstick used to measure the well being of any society has been the condition of its women. Let us therefore, strive to improve the intellectual, spiritual and emotional condition of the Muslim woman by allowing her to fulfill all the God-given abilities and responsibilities made incumbent on her.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Ok, so there you go. Also tonight is Oscar night, and I watched like a few minutes of the count down and I must say that...holy cow people can be soooooooooooooooooooooo shallow. Who I ask...WHO would spend thirty grand on make-up? Yeah, cause it's not like there are starving people or anything. Pathetic. God help us all.

~Pink Gerbera~

Here Ya'll Go

2006-03-04T22:07:00.000-08:00

Just A Little Something For Ya'll! Plus I Love This Feline Friend.

Babble-di-Babble

2006-03-04T21:23:00.000-08:00

Salam.

Hmmm, my brain is on sabbatical. Or so it seems. For the last few days I seriously find that I can't think straight. I sit down to do my homework and ................................

.................... I just stare at the pages in front of me. It's so sad, and really annoying. WAKE UP already! So I guess that I'll just occupy my time with staring in to space, and reading other people's entries which actually make sense.

Hmmmmmmm...

Sometimes it's better to say nothing, then to write a whole entry about babble-di-babble. Would you agree? I think we can all safely agree here.

Take care for now. I think a few days of rest and more trigonometric equations should put my brain straight insha'Allah.

~Pink Gerbera~

And The Mushy Wheels Turn

2006-03-02T20:41:00.000-08:00

Salam (Peace)!

Do you ever feel like no matter what you do you can’t solve a problem? I feel like that often enough, though I suppose the reason I feel like that is drawn more from my “idealistic” stand point. Like, we look around us and see a world in shambles and yet somewhere deep down we think that maybe, just maybe if we fight the fight we may one day be able to solve that problem. What ever that problem may be.

I’m not generally one to go on about politics; simply because I’m afraid I don’t have all the facts and therefore will come out sounding like a right ninny. Or else sometimes I just rather keep my political views harbored inside while on the outside I’ll let everyone around me think, that I’m just some supreme ditz. But certain issues just really hanker me, and drive me just a little crazy, either it be with furry or just a sense of uselessness, and sadness.

For example, we have Mukhtaran Mai, a young woman from Pakistan. Now I’m sure many of you have heard about this particular young woman, for she and her horrible story have been widely talked about in the media. Mukhtaran Mai is the woman, who in 2002 was gang-raped by many of the men in her village. I’ve been reading a little about it and I must say that it is one of those things that are driving me crazy, for so many varying reasons.

This is a touchy subject for many, but for me it really just infuriates me. I’ve never been to Pakistan, so I won’t boast in anyway that I know what it is like to live there, because I just don’t have a clue, however to me rape is rape and it should be dealt with appropriately. For the past couple of nights (for those of you who a) live in Canada and b) watch the news then this applies to you) on The National they have a little documentary on how women are being treated in Pakistan. I know when I say this a lot of people may possibly jump down my throat and state that I’m simply being brain washed by the “western” media but let’s face it, most countries have a sexism problem, and sadly poorer countries seem to have it bad in this area.

There are a few things that really get me going about this young woman’s case and they respectively are, that Mukhtaran’s life has been ruined, she deserves justice and that it has absolutely NOTHING to do with Islam. Basically there are hypocrites in every religion, those who bend certain things in their favor as a way to ease their conscience and as well as to sway others to agree. And most of the time there is a loyal band of gits. No religion is excluded from this truth, because like every religion Islam is followed by human beings, and we as a whole are generally weak things. We tend to bend to our desires, and we tend to screw the heck up quite a bit. But, that’s only to be expected with free will and all.

Anyway, so what really annoys, saddens and maddens me is that people automatically associate this horrible incident with Islam, what with Musharraf claiming to be Muslim and all (And hey, I’ll let Allah do the judging here, but people tend to speak for themselves) But it doesn’t help that loads of people think all Muslims and countries are filled with chauvinist pigs that illusion themselves with being “superior” to women. Who beat, rape, and treat them as slaves. Not saying it doesn’t happen, and I’m not saying certain people use their own warped interpretations to make their wrong, right but I will say that most…the vast majority aren’t such. Insha’Allah.

I think that if nothing is being done to uphold this woman’s honor in her own country then maybe it is important for others to get involved. I mean, we are talking about Mukhtaran’s respect, honor, and life here. It IS more then wrong, and woefully un-Islamic what has happened to not only her but others. Instead of bloody saying that these women are making up “rape” stories in order to flee their countries listen! And even if some are (and let it be known that I don’t think they are) making up such a story what the heck does it matter to them, Allah will be the Judge.

Before I get sidetracked the fact is that I look at these stories not only taking place in Pakistan, Afghanistan or where ever else and I can’t help but think that I’m useless. I often think about how we as a whole can do something to help. What can we do? Make noise? Get the story/stories out? They’re doing that already, but as Muslims what can we do to help, even if only in a little way.

I think we should keep all these people be it men, women, or children because they all endure sever trials around this world in our supplications after prayer. That may be a start, though I know many of you already do that.

I am lost. I truly am. We turn to Allah for truly it is He who is the only one who can do something but shouldn’t we do something too. It’s so overwhelming because there just seems to be so many bloody problems on earth. I mean, we can’t fix them all now can we? And that thought alone drives me crazy. I hate being cynical though most call that realism.

Probably if we each concentrated on one thing, be it dear sister Mukhtaran’s story or getting better care at a retirement facility we should do it. I will be the first to say that I’m selfish because in more ways then one I truly am. Everyone is, because we all have our own trials to bare, our own lessons to learn and grow from but does it mean that we should ignore other peoples? Maybe that’s where the problem started. Maybe it started with us simply being to self absorbed, and maybe one of the ways to come out of a trial is by helping others with theirs? Because maybe in the grand scheme of things are problems are all somewhat attached?

I don’t have an answer as to how we can free all the women, children and men who suffer at the hands of those who think they are superior. I really don’t, but maybe instead of being quite and letting things pass we should say something. I know that I get a lot of odd looks when I say that something should be said, because in everyone’s mind along with my own I think we think, “What’s the point”? And then we doubt our intentions and feel that it won’t make a difference. But perhaps it will, even if it’s the smallest of differences.

I sound idealistic, and it’s probably because I am, but idealism is truly a strong contributor to drive. The drive to make a difference when you still think you can, before you find out that it’s an uphill struggle. Before the hope you have harbored in likelihood that you can make a difference slips away as everyone else around you mocks, or doubts you. When we begin to doubt ourselves we begin to lose, and thus are replaced by this cold cynicism.

But then again maybe that cynicism is our defense, our fluffy pillows on which we fall when we realize the world isn’t what it seems. Who knows, but I do know that what happened to that woman, and what happens to others shouldn’t be something we simply sweep away under a rug hoping the dust will simply disappear. No, Allah condemns it and verily he is the best Judge’s and All Knowing. So then shouldn’t we?

Take care.
~Pink Gerbera~

P.S. After sleep my brain is still mushy but just won’t stop spinning its mushy wheels

Flowers for Elena

2006-03-02T14:51:00.000-08:00

Salam All,

So I said I would post a picture of a Gerbera for Elena. So that's what I'm going to do, sorry it took so long.

Also, basically I just can't seem to think of anything witty and "whoa" at this precise moment. I know. A rarity! But fear not, my quick wit and charming posts will come back again after I possible sleep. I swear right now my brain is mushy, I think it's probably because I spend so much time pondering extremely deep and stimulating things. Like what? Well I can't quite explain right now seeing as my brain is MUSH! But when it returns to its full, and strong form I may let you in.

Till then, just enjoy the flower. Isn't it pretty?

Adieu,
~Pink Gerbera~

Domestic Bliss

2006-02-26T12:28:00.000-08:00

Salam All!

Oh, domestic bliss.

It is now official that I will make a terrible house wife. Yes, that’s correct…terrible! I just found out how much I really hate to clean up after so many people. I suck at it big time. I especially stink in that I am really bad at cleaning up after OTHER people...boys in particular. Did I mention that?

All I can think is “Ok I barely have time to clean up my own bedroom!” So, ‘tis quite a sad realization to be made on my part; another thing to add to the “LONG list of flaws”.

The only things I don’t mind cleaning are the kitchen, dishes, and –gasp!- the washrooms. Yes I know…grossssssssss, but I don’t mind it, I like a clean washroom. Well that’s not entirely true (the “I like a clean washroom” part is but not the other part), I actually really need to work up a gall before I can attack “the brother’s bathroom”. Seriously, I actually have to work up to it, and that usually takes a week or so. I also have a continuous war with the “dreaded soap scum” which one of these days’s I AM SOOO GOING TO OBLIVIATE! Insha’Allah.

So to all you woman who actually like cleaning, and are good at it, let me just tell you one thing: “I LOVE THEE, and you are like my Wayne Gretzky or Zinedine Zidane of the domestics.”

Moving on…

Cooking on the other hand I can handle. In fact I’m actually not too bad at it. Well, in comparison to all those auntie-ji’s and such I might still have a lot of work to do but overall I’m not to shabby. I mean, I don’t cook many traditional Moroccan dishes but I hold my own when it comes to more contemporary things. Oh and baking…I love to bake. Chocolate chip cookies, chocolate oatmeal cookies, chocolate cake, brownies, chocolate crème brulee…as you can tell I tend to lean towards “chocolaty” things. It’s part of the whole “I’m a choca-holic” thing I have going on.

Well now you know. I hold my head in shame as I admit that I am not a domestic queen. So to my future hubby…it’s my quirky personality which truly counts, and not the fact that our kitchen counter tops won’t shine or that your shirts may not be perfectly ironed. Right? Am I Right? Just say I’m right!

Anyway I have to jet, my room needs cleaning. Wish me luck!

Peace
~Pink Gerbera~

Mumble...Jumble...

2006-02-24T19:42:00.000-08:00

Salam! Howdee! Hola! Bonjour!

I’m good at Mumble Jumble…now whether that’s something to let the world know about is another story…

Books

Let’s see. Have I read any really good books lately? I read a lot of books, at least three a week, but, ummm, whether or not I ever come across a really good one is rare. But I do happen to find a few. Now, first off, we seriously need more Muslim authors! I mean it’s all good that so many Muslim write books about Islam…honestly Masha’Allah there’s nothing wrong with that, in fact how else would we learn about this wonderful deen; But we need some stories…

…you know, ones with characters, and plots et cetera.

Anyway I’ve read a few books by author Sarah Dessen and she’s not bad. I like how she relates through the eyes of youth, though not Muslim, I think youth more or less struggle with the same things. Like, oh I don’t know…body image issues? Yes, even Muslims! I mean, fat is fat and most people on either side look sourly upon it. So yes, we all have those issues; Also, the whole self-esteem thing…that’s a nasty little bugger, especially if we don’t have others there to help us!.

Another good author I’ve read lately is Khaled Hossieni the author of the Kite Runner. Yeah, that was actually a very good book. I mean, the character development, struggles, description…most of it was really, very well written, in my opinion.

Besides that I’ve just read some silly, laugh-out-loud books because life is serious enough we really occasionally need the ditzy heroine to make us laugh…and feel smart.

Besides that I haven’t seen a whole lot of books that really “wow” me. We really need more Muslim contributions…insha’Allah. So, stop becoming doctors, lawyers, dentists, pharmacists and scientists and start dabbling in your creative pools brothers and sisters!

I don’t just think it’s important for us, the Muslims but it’s also nice if non-Muslims read the books and possibly if it’s well written will get to see life through a Muslim’s eyes. Helps with the bridge towards tolerance perhaps? Or is that me just being all idealistic and naïve again?

But hey, there is always Islamica Magazine, masha’Allah well written and put together.

College/School/Jobs

Lets see, where to begin with this one? Umm, well….

OK! Fine, let’s start with the fact that I really, quite stink at this math and science business (save for bio. Oh bio, what would I do sans you?). I mean, seriously Masha’Allah to all of you who do well in it, but COME ON when will I honestly need to know the trigonometric ratios of a stinking triangle whilst sticking a pretty little needle in to some two year olds bicep? See…I won’t need it, I think? Hopefully!
And this chemistry stuff, for the love of chocolate…who even CAME up with that stuff? I mean, sure I like learning about the things that make up this world (subhana’Allah) but why does it have to be so darn complicated!?!

I’m good till about they start talking about…well I don’t really know till what part I’m good because I can’t UNDERSTAND it. But anyway, chemistry 30 is all behind me now, Alhamduillah. Why I ever decided to take it…

…Oh right. I remember now. Funny story actually.

See I wanted to pursue medicine, become a doctor, save one life at a time. You know…that thing. Anyway, so after graduating high school I had no stinking idea what I wanted to pursue. I mean seriously, do they really expect us to know that in grade 11 or 12 when we’re 17/18? I mean, I didn’t know what I wanted to be when I grew up? Or I did, but I mean it’s not exactly easy becoming “Sailor Pluto”.

Anyway so what did I do? I took a year off. A sabbatical if you wish. And on that year off I went through a few “what on God’s green earth will I do with my life?!” stages. That involved meeting after meeting with my parents, which at times even led to total break downs on my part (I’m talking tears and everything), as my parents said

“Listen, you have to be serious.” “You have to do something which will give you money in return.” “You aren’t Mother Theresa ok? You can’t just volunteer forever!” “You never know what will happen in life!” And my personal favorite, “No.”
So after pitching out idea, after idea I decided that I really need to think about this.

So I took some classes that I hadn’t in high school, and just sat back and thought for a while. Then I thought “HEY, I love ER, and I remember I had a doctor set when I was seven why not become a doctor?!?” And thus began my journey.

Needless to say after finishing chemistry I was totally discouraged to continue on that path. I mean, if I’m a doctor I WILL need to know my science stuff, right? Also, it takes like 13 years all together with an undergrad degree, med-school and residency (OB/GYN). THIRTEEN YEARS!!!! I mean, when in heck am I suppose to start a family? You know, and after lots of thinking I decided that starting a family is a little more important to me.

Anyway so the search continued and then I decided Nursing. I applied.

But then I thought… WAIT, I don’t care how good it pays I don’t have my heart in it, so I went back to the drawing board.

Needless to say I’ll be pursuing a degree in the arts and teaching insha’Allah. At least this way I can concentrate on writing and spread the creative bug to little kids. Hey, they’re the ones with the awesome imaginations after all! And they’re cute…most of the time…ok, well whatever, remember they have KILLER IMAGINATIONS!!!

Anime

Forget Bollywood. Honestly, I mean I was hooked forever on it, but the modern movies just suck! Completely, and totally! Go back to pretty sari’s, no kissing, less provocative sexy, dancing and more meaning. I watched one modern movie a few months ago and have been turned off ever since, thus began my new fascination.

Anime. OMG, I love that stuff. The stories for the most part are really good especially Miyazaki’s movies (Spirited Away, Castle in the Sky etc). Great animations and really nice stories, so yeah I’m sort of scaring my brothers. I just keep moving up on the ladder of oddness to many. Oh well, I am who I am!

Also Teletoon is now MY channel, and YTV especially on Sunday morning with a bowl of Fruit Loops. (I buy it when my mom not around…the fruit loops.) And yes, I know, but I really “AM A BIG KID NOW!” Irregardless of my program choices…

Olympics

WHAT IS UP WITH TEAM CANADA? Come on!!!! What the heck happened out there with the men’s hockey team? I’ll tell you what happened…THEY GOT SCHOOLED! Such a shame, but I guess that it was bound to happen sooner or later. I mean I won’t deny that Finland has definite talent out there. I mean they totally beat down Canada!

Besides that HURRAY for the girls hockey team! And to all the other Canadian athletes who are kicking bee-hind! Especially Miss. Klassen…the speed skating queen in Italy this year.

Soccer

ONLY a few more months then finally, FINALLY the world cup is going to start! I’m really excited about this, because…it’s the world cup… DUHHHH! And it’s in Germany this year, which is really annoying because this year I’m not going to Germany…I SHOULD SO BE GOING THIS YEAR! The irony is killing me.

Who will take the cup this year? We need some change! Let someone else win Brazil…geez.

Oh well.

Hockey and Soccer are the only sports I don’t mind…oh, and then naturally there’s figure skating, gymnastics, and swimming.

Other Stuff

Nothing else, I honestly think that I’ve wrote all that I could think about at the moment. Oh, and my dear twin I got Princess Mononoke.

That’s it.

Take care and Peace

~Pink Gerbera~

Writing and Stuff

2006-02-15T23:15:00.002-08:00

Salam!

So…lets talk about writing. Isn’t it fun? Yay!

I have finally overcome my writers block, and it’s a happy day for everyone involved! I sort of hurdled over it with the help of a book I’ve been reading that’s been written for people like me.

In short, it’s for people who need to learn how to write because frankly they don’t have a clue and really need all the extra help they can get. ME! ME! ME!

Anyway in this book, which is written by some woman who holds writing workshops there is one part in particular that intrigues me. In this part she speaks about how we “think” too much when we write and you know what? I couldn’t agree more. I mean I THINK A LOT when I write which probably why I never get very far.

Seriously my mind goes like this:

Ok, theres got to be this girl…

…OH and then she falls from this mountain

….Makes her way to

….Another girl

….Blue eyes

….no brown

….short hair with red highlights

….no now she sounds goth

…maybe I should put her in something pink

…but she’s suppose to be deep and broody no one who’s deep and broody likes pink

…a mountain

….”She’ll be coming around the mountain when she comes * YEEHAA*”

.... where was I? Oh ya…nope…red hair

And it just goes on and on and on and on and…well you get the point. I never stops, not even when I’m in front of the TV which is suppose to be killing off brain cells and turning me in to a zombie.

So I’ve simply decided that I’d just relax, clear my mind and sort of see what happens…a writing exercise of sort, if you will. And OMG does it work. I mean really work. It’s nice to write something you feel good about, or at least sort of good about.

There are always those doubts that loom in our minds when ever we try our hands at being creative. I think mainly this has to do with the fact that when you’re creative you’re raw. You’re being yourself, you’re expressing both something about why and who you are. It’s probably another reason why when people need to vent they turn to the thing they are most passionate about. For some it’s writing, for others it’s painting, sculpting, sketching, etc.

You don’t have to be a whacky person to express yourself, so don’t be scared, you ARE NOT turning in to some weird, weed blowing, kum-by-yah-er.

However I never really got the whole “Journal” or “Diary” thing. Seriously, I’ve tried it a few times and I just can’t stick to it. I mean I’ve made my attempts, I have my first little red diary to show for it but honestly, I just can’t figure it out. I suppose most turn to journal writing for the same reasons some may turn to blogging, it’s a form of releasing some tension. A way for you to vent.

I just could never do it. I mean I sometimes vent a little on here, but never really let it out. Especially with a family of snoopy snoops having a journal filled with your deepest thoughts isn’t a good way to go.

Though I’m sure I’m missing out on all the enjoyment I would have from reading a journal entry made when I was younger. For example I’m so bad at this journal stuff that I’m sure my entries would have gone as follows:

Grade School Years:

Dear Diary,

Today I went to school. It was fun, I got to play on the swings and go “WEEE” as I went higher.

I’m so happy my mommy gave me a snack pack. It was vanilla…I like vanilla.

Ok that’s all for now
Love,
So and so

Junior High Years:

Today I went to school. I learned stuff about stuff which will help me with stuff when I’m older and stuff.

I got a snack pack for lunch. It was chocolate…I like chocolate. My mom rocks.

C’ya

High School Years:

… I got a snack pack. It was vanilla and chocolate swirl…I like vanilla and chocolate swirl.

I’m still learning stuff, only now I really need it if I want to do good on my diplomas and stuff.

Present Day:

Dishes are fun. I’m no longer allowed to have snack packs because apparently pudding isn’t good for you and with it comes unwanted poundage. So my life is empty now.

You see where I’m going with this? Yeah, I really don’t get how I could fill hundreds of pages in my pretty little journal with this stuff.

So you do what you have to do to let those creative juices fly, I’ll just stick to my writers block, and writing manual.

Peace
~Pink Gerbera~

Hmmm...

2006-02-15T23:15:00.000-08:00

Salam!

So lately as I’ve waded through the depth’s of what we know and love (occasionally hate) as the internet, I’ve been reading article upon article, mixed in with a few angry blog posts, or simply posts expressing their views on the “Caricatures” made of our beloved Prophet (p.b.u.h). Literally I don’t think I’ve been somewhere where it hasn’t been mentioned.

Now that’s a good thing. Really, because there should be noise made about how very, very wrong and closed minded they were. There should be a firm stand made by everyone Muslim and non-Muslim alike which condones any such form of bigotry or in a fuller sense…hate. It should not be ignored; any form of hate shouldn’t be ignored.

But I’m not going to pretend to be some “wow” smart person who can go in depth on this current issue. Not happening, because let me tell you something, most of the time when one tries to sound all SMART they don’t. Sometimes, they end up making fools of themselves. People…leave room for the slight possibility that you are totally OFF the mark. Hey, it happens, you’re not perfect.

Anyway, so instead of going on in some highly eloquent manner, I’ll simply put it like this:

It’s so easy to hate. Everyone does it, if only because it’s the simpler emotion to release, and more then often the first one to be released. Burning flags, hurting others, etc, etc is not a very smart way of proving ones point. But hey, we all handle things differently, and when we do something wrong most often we’ll find some sardonic way of justifying it. Like, oh, I don’t know…

…“OMG you just ate TWO chocolate bars!” and you silently justify with a possible, “If you only knew the day I had. First I got a tear in my hose, then I forgot to wash the conditioner out of my hair, then I bought a diet coke instead of diet PEPSI and then…then…then” etc or else the simple. “I’ve been sooo good all week what can two freaking chocolates bars do…seriously!”

Anyway in this case, being a bigot was justified by the ol’ “Freedom of Speech” cover. Gosh, you’ve gotta love the “Freedom of Speech” cover. It can be used for virtually anything. So there you have it, insult someone and it’s Ok because you have the right to say that.

The fact remains that it was and will always be wrong but really me sitting here trying to sound all smart as I explain how truly wrong it is isn’t really me making a big ol’ difference now is it? Either way, it makes no difference whether I write a fancy article about it, or think about it…silently fuming and even pitying how low people can be.

I think the best way I can do anything about it is by simply when asked about it to crisply give my opinion. “It was wrong, and a very closed minded thing that only someone ignorant or looking for an outburst would do.” And then I’d proceed in proving the stereotype that I’ve been branded with as a falsity to who and what I am and stand for.

Further more:

Not all Danes are bad…not all French are bad…not all Americans are bad…and for heaven sakes NOT ALL MUSLIM ARE BAD C-4 STRAPPING FIENDS! But at the end of the day, you’ll go home to your families possibly still holding the same ideas you have of a certain group of people. Nothing…nothing can change that except your own willingness to see that every pea in a pod is different, and that can be a hard thing to do.

As for how late I am to even express my thought on this topic I have to say that I didn’t even know it was happening till two weeks later when everyone around me was talking about it.

And now I leave you with another thing that I am…
The first was lazy and the second is tardy. Hey, we’re not perfect being after all, I’m allowed my flaws.

Adios
~Pink Gerbera~

4 things...Tagged my Twin

2006-02-04T11:46:00.000-08:00

Salam:

I’ve been tagged *faints*, thank you kindly my dear sweetie!!! :kiss: It won’t be that fascinating but oh well.

Four Jobs I’ve Had in My Life
1. Waitress/Bus-girl
2. Dishwasher
3. Dishwasher
4. Dishwasher

Four Movies I Could Watch Over and Over, and Have
1. Pride and Prejudice
2. Bend in Like Beckham
3. Circle of Friends
4. Monsieur Ibrahim et Les Fleur de Koran

Four Places I Have Lived
1. Present Location
2. The mountains
3. Calgary
4. There is no four yet..insha'Allah one day

Four TV Shows I Love To Watch
1. ER
2. CSI
3. Lost

Four Places I Have Been On Vacation
1. Morocco
2. France
3. Germany
4. Netherlands

Four Websites I Visit Daily
1. MO
2. My fav blogs ;)
3. Ummmm…ya CM
4. Erm…tricky one... I dunno

Four Favorite Foods
1. Vegetable or Beef couscous
2. Chicken, carrots, and olive Tagine
3. Kefta, and potato tagine
4. Good ol’ hamburger!

Four Places I Would Rather Be Right Now
1. Um, Morocco with my cousins and family
2. On a gorgeous Island where the water is CRYSTAL BLUE and the sand is white and I’m sleeping or reading or writing on a nice lounger with a canopy protecting my skin from the UV rays and ummm all my fam and friends are there!
3. Going for nice walk at a nice park with my twin and my niece :P
4. On a cruise where hopefully not half the passengers are in string bikinis…NO, it would be my own private cruise where I get to see all the pretty sights on the Med. with my family and friends!

Four People I Tag Next
1. Dana
2. Aisha
3. Princess
4. I honestly don’t know anyone else!!! Everyone else I know has been tagged! LOL! So who ever else visits

And that's that. Though I'm hoping on posting some thing later. Insha'Allah

Toodles
~Pink Gerbera~

Bright Ideas and The Help of the Dish Pit

2006-01-30T01:26:00.000-08:00

Salam Ya’ll!

Well as per usual I haven’t updated in eons basically because I’m lazy, and never have anything fabity-fab-fab to write about. Which hey…is “a-OK” with me, except that possibly…just possibly my blog is taking up like 0.0000000000000001 percent of the vast space on the internet. But I’m hoping you guy’s don’t mind.

Anyway I won’t go in to how long it’s been because I always do that after quite a long gap. Plus I am sure you’ve all gathered by now that I am quite sporadic when it comes to posting, which is a symptom brought on by the “lazy virus”.

Anywho before I forget:

“A very Happy yet very Belated New Year to you all”, and to my Muslim readers “a Belated Eid Mubarak!”

Movin’ on…

So basically in a nutshell I’ve been keeping up with my homework which takes up about, oh, 70% of my day…no biggy though ‘cause it’s kind of relaxing. And I’ve been working and catching up on some reading and etc. So honestly you haven’t missed too, too much.

I’ve been trying to write my story –not my story but rather a story, totally fictional-. It’s so not easy, especially when about 75% of the time I get writers block. I mean seriously, seriously, if one gets writers block that much should they even be writing? Ermmm, right now I’m not sure, but I guess I wade through it sooner or later. My main problem is that I have TOO many thoughts going through my mind, and so it makes it SO much harder to organize them and put them to good use.

My answer so far to writers block –as well as writers cram with all the stinking ideas- is doing the dishes at our resto. Believe it or not, doing dishes is actually quite relaxing and gives me a lot of time to think. I think of plot holes, and plots, and characters, and scenes and the climax and etc, etc; at times I actually make a whole novel –though terribly compressed- in my mind while I rid the plates of their grime. It’s fun, and my little way of passing the time when I can’t really do anything else. And YES, I do think of other things, other then plot lines and so forth. I’m actually a very deep and thoughtful person....

…HA! I’m only such when I am sleeping.

Anywho, so doing the dishes is sort of my escape from the world I like to call “The restaurant”, so when I’m bothered (which usually entails my little brother asking me to make this or get that) I can get really annoyed, because I HATE having my train of thought always interrupted. It’s something I can’t help, when I’m in thinking mode –and you can tell because my brows are always furrowed and smoke signals begin to escape from the top of my head- you just can’t come up to me and say “I need a Crème Caramel, Apple Pie heated with ice cream, hot and soft chocolate cake and a cheese cake pronto tonto” then wave your hand and leave. I mean come on!! I was just hatching up this great part which WAS PIVOTAL to my climax! Geez Louise! So you’ll usually get an answer like, “WRITE IT DOWN for God’s sake!” In a rather angry tone, or, my favorite “Do it yourself.” (I mean it’s not like he’s out there coming up with great ideas for what may be the next bestseller…no instead he’s “working” puh-lease.) Not that I mean to be so…as my brother puts it “Useless” it’s just that, oh never mind.

So half of the time, even though my golden ideas are hatched whilst washing off a “Basil and tomato infusion” from a frying pan, I won’t remember them when the time comes to utilize them. A sad, sad downfall for any aspiring writer…unless you were lucky enough to be blessed with, oh, I don’t know “Super photogenic memory”. Then Masha’Allah! But otherwise there is no way I’m going to have a little note pad in my back pocket where I can “jot down my ideas when theY come to mind” like one author suggested, because I can’t really see myself stop mid-way through washing a glass, my hands drenched in hot water and soap suds, reaching in to my pocket, looking for my pen, trying to flip through the pages while I accidentally wet them all causing the ink to leak, thus ruining my other ideas….

…see in the end it’s better to enjoy my ideas in my head then go through all that trouble. I mean, Hey! If no one ever ends up reading my books, that ok, at least I enjoyed them…more or less.

Ok, that’s all for now I think it’s probably high time I got back to my homework, seeing as I need that right now a little more then my “ingenious plot plans”.

Adieu,
~Pink Gerbera~

Well, thank you so much Mister!

2005-12-27T22:58:00.000-08:00

Hey all!

Ok, so I might have mentioned once or twice, but simply to refresh your memories i'll tell you again; my family owns a restaurant. I do the dishes, and dessert/salads etc. I hate working in the front...well for many reasons, but mainly because I am a Muslimah and don't feel comfortable "small talking" with all these people -naturally the small talking with "men" is just NO WAY- anyway you get the point. I also am not a very "bubbly-outgoing-I can laugh with everyone type of person", unless you're a friend or what have you, then you'd wish I'd shut up!

Anyway, in Canada there's this country music legend -I won't name any names, but he thinks he's the last of the last when it comes to cowboys and a lil someone here knows for a fact that this guy was born a city slicker...- anywho, well he comes by our restaurant a lot (sadly) and personally thinks his "sheet" don't stink.

He's very fond of himself, and thinks it is such a grand pleasure to us that we are so graciously blessed by his presence. For example: he sometimes comes through our back door which is in our kitchen -when we're stupid enough to leave it open- because he doesn't want to be seen, and also because, I am a little sure he wants to seems all special "coming in from the *backdoor*". All I can think is "Oh-my-gawd, you've got to be kiddin' me! I doubt half those people even know who you are...or care." Which is kind of true seeing as 1) some of the people are locals who don't CARE and 2) some just don't know who he is because they aren't big fans of old country music.

Oh gosh...the things I could tell you about how fond of himself this guy is, but I won't.

Anyway, so he comes in for dinner tonight and he was telling us all about the places he got invited to for christmas dinner *wink wink* -he was hinting to us- then when he pays guess what he leaves as a tip?

Nada...........

........... honestly that's what he writes on the tip line...NADA.

A suprise? Not really...he never leaves tips...but to write NADA, now that's just arrogant! Do people even realize how hard waiters and kitchen staff have to work? Do people even realize how much bull'sheet waiters have to put up with? Do people even realize how hard it is to run a restaurant and then have it do well? Do people even care?

Now I am not saying people don't...but many really...well DO NOT CARE! It's not a piece of cake -no job is really, but, you know- especially when you are short staffed. The worst part is you really have to kiss bee-hind if you're a waiter... it reallllllllly stinks!

Or when you have people who call you five minutes before you close and want to make a reservation for that night. Ummmmm, yeah why not, I mean we didn't want to go home or anything! Ok and who the heck makes a reservation five minutes before we close for the SAME NIGHT???

We had this happen last week, and we let the people come because the guy had some sob story, which in the end wasn't even true. One of the guys we knew, and he was nice but the guy that called, what an arse! Like honestly, he thought he was doing US a favour. Ok...sure, thank you mister!

I don't like to vent about things like this, because I don't often like to complain to everyone, but this just gets really annoying, which is why I've decided to leave the food industry!

Anyway that's all I have to say for the day. But honestly...Alhamduillah for everything, because we aren't starving and everyone has to put up with BS once in a while. :)

Take care all.
~Pink Gerbera~

Hello...hello...is anybody still there?

2005-12-23T21:29:00.000-08:00

Ok so let’s see…In six days exactly it will be December 29 th, 2005. You might be wondering (possibly) –“who cares?”- And I would answer….

…. Well it’s been almost one whole month since I last updated my blog! Those who visited before probably do not anymore, and for that I am sorry. I am sorry also to my dear friends since it’s been a while since I’ve e-mailed you! I know…

Anyway, I think before I move on to try and make up for my long absence I will introduce you to one flaw in my personality that has kept me from updating. I am a sporadic person, I don’t keep time tables, or schedules simply because I can’t stick to them. I think I once said that I really find a lot of pleasure from writing, but that doesn’t change that I have moods in which I don’t want to write, or that I do want to write but never get around to it. It’s quite sad, and it’s basically for that reason why you fellow readers, may find that I do not update as often as most bloggers. That and I’ve been drowning in an abyss of chem. Homework, which I started two months late. This however was NOT my fault.

Anyway with that out of our way, I hope to have some time to update more periodically, insha’Allah.

Basically all this post will entail is useless rambles of what I’ve been up to, what I like etc…

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Hollywood Movies
There are two movies out which I really want to go see. They are supposedly both very good, so that’s enough for me. No, seriously they both have to do with things that interest me.

The first movie is Syriana, with George Clooney, Matt Damon and some other people I don’t know. Anyway, it is supposedly a really good movie which has to - in a “nut-shell”- do with the grasp that gas/oil companies have on the populous/ruling parties of countries. My brothers went to watch it –sans moi…homework- and really like it, especially since it has a lot to do with what is happening in today’s world.

The other movie I want to watch is “Memoirs of a Geisha”, now I am a cheater as I haven’t yet read the book, but seeing the previews and hearing the raves about the book I must say that I am tempted. I think that perhaps I will read it before I watch the movie, seeing as I am one of those people that doesn’t like to watch movies based on books unless I have actually read the book.

Now for movies that I don’t think should even exist –well let’s be honest, the vast majority of what Hollywood shoots out these days just stinks, with a capital S- but this one in particular. The movie is called, “Brokeback Mountain” and it’s about two gay cowboys who fall in love…but wait, there’s more…they have an affair and are married to women! Yeah, and from what fans of the book –it was a Pulitzer prize winner…go figure- the story isn’t focusing on the homosexuality or forbidden relationship but more on the fact that it’s about adultery. “Oooooook then”, is all I have to say on this matter, seeing as this subject alone requires a whole post of its own! That and honestly I could give to flicks about two gay cowboys! I like bollywood…have I ever mentioned that?

OH, and I almost forgot I bought “Cinderella and Aladdin” on DVD! I love those fairy tale movies, they’re always so cheerful to watch, and they bring back SOOO many memories of my lil’ gaffer days. *sniff*

Bollywood Movies
Anyway since I was earlier speaking about Hollywood movies I think I’ll just quickly talk about bollywood movies. I swear if I hear one more thing about John Abraham becoming the next it guy in Bollywood I will SCREAM! People…he doesn’t even sing and dance! Ok, so maybe many natives of India or Pakistan are sick of all the sari dancing, bangle jangling, i-love-you song/dance sequences in the movies but take it from moi…THIS IS THE ESSENCE OF YOUR MOVIES! Ok so maybe at times it’s corny, but at least there’s character. So that annoys me, and then the fact that they are getting a little provocative in some of their movies now! Kjbgghfhjhvhfhgjvghfghjjhgjfghkf!!!! That’s all I have to say about that. Hmph.

Books
Ok, lets see. Well I haven’t had much time to read, so sadly I can’t say to much about any good books out there. I did get the “Shopaholic” series, and I am looking quite forward to laughing a little at the heroine’s antics. It’s suppose to be a very funny series, and I need a break from some heavier reading!

Weather
It’s………

…….actually not to bad weather wise. I mean it’s not cold, but it isn’t hot either, it’s just warm. Which means NO SNOW, which means my “Fun in the snow” plans haven’t even materialized yet. However, I’ve recently realized that it’s going to be quite impossible for me to go through with those plans anyway, why? Because, one) I forgot that sliding down hills on a crazy carpet requires proper attire –meaning I need some darn snow pants- and I really don’t feel like spending over fifty bucks on a pair. Two) though it totally rocks to act like a seven year, there’s a HUGE difference between being seventeen and being nineteen. For one thing, you have a LOT more responsibilities –I know many of you older readers…cough…my big sisters, to be exact, are probably laughing at that part- but it’s true. When I was seven I didn’t work fulltime, or I didn’t have to worry about all that annoying school work, or or or all that other stuff that comes with being a “grown up” –I use the word lightly, hehehe-.

Isn’t the irony just to much, when we are seven we wish we could be “grown ups” because they get to do whatever they want…like buy chocolate cake and not have to get a big, fat, NO from your mommy. Sadly, when you’re actually grown up you still have to listen to mommy saying NO to buying the chocolate cake because you should, “Put your money to better use!” So you still have to listen to mommy and daddy, plus you get all those funnnnnnn responsibilities…YAY!

Uni
I have been conditionally excepted to the nursing program I applied to! This is great Alhamduillah, because it’s just my first step to my dream –well one of my dreams- of becoming a doctor. The thing is I still have to finish two classes, since I never took them in high school, before I can actually say that I am “excepted” so INSHA’ALLAH all goes well and next time I can say that I am officially a nursing student…

The coffee scene
I just got a Frappuccino from Starbucks…yummmm. However, it probably isn’t so brilliant of me to get a cold, slushie drink when a) it’s getting cool outside, and b) the first signs of the cold going around in my familia are making themselves apparent. What can I say…I’m a rebel, “grrrrrrrrr”!

Good Islamic Reading
After wasting most of your time with my…dare I say…useless, ramblings, I think it’s time I actually say something worth any recognition. I’ve actually read quite a few good articles lately and will post one here for you. I don’t want to weigh you down with any of my internal conflicts as I see those are best kept to oneself.

Wasted Time

by Shaykh Abdul-Malik Qasim

IslamWay.com

Since last night my young son has been unwell. When I got back from work this evening I decided to take him to hospital despite my exhaustion. Indeed, fatigue for his sake is rest.

There were many waiting…perhaps we will be delayed by more than an hour. I took my number and sat down in the waiting room. There were many faces, young and old, but all silent. Some brothers made use of the many booklets available in the waiting room.

Some of those waiting had their eyes closed, while others were looking around. Most were bored. Once in a while the long silence was broken by a nurse calling out a number. Happiness appears on the one whose turn it is, and he gets up quickly…then silence returns.

A young man grabbed my attention. He was reading a pocket-sized Qur`an continuously; not raising his head even once. At first I did not think much about him. However, after one hour of waiting my casual glances turned into a deep reflection about his lifestyle and how he utilizes his time.

One hour of life wasted! Instead of making benefit of that hour, it was just a boring wait. Then the call for prayer was made. We went to prayer in the hospital's mosque. I tried to pray close to the man who was reading the Qur`an earlier in the waiting room. After the prayer I walked with him. I informed him of how impressed I was of him and how he tries to benefit from his time.

He told me that most of our time is wasted without any benefit. These are days that go from our lives without being conscious of them or regretting their waste. He said that he started carrying the pocket-sized Qur`an around when a friend encouraged him to make full use of his time. He told me that in the time other people waste he gets to read much more of the Qur`an than he gets to read either at home or in the mosque. Moreover, besides the reward of reading the Qur`an, this habit saves him from boredom and stress. He added that he has now been waiting for one and a half hours.

Then he asked, "when will you find one and a half hours to read the Qur`an?"

I reflected…how much time do we waste?How many moments of our lives pass by, and yet we do not account for how they passed by?

Indeed, how many months pass by and we do not read the Qur`an?

I came to respect my companion, and I discovered that I am to stand for account and that time is not in my hand…so what am I waiting for?

My thoughts were interrupted by the nurse calling out my number…I went to the doctor. But I want to achieve something now. After I left the hospital I quickly went to the bookshop and bought a pocket-sized Qur`an. I decided to be mindful of how I spend the time. That was my intention when I put that Qur`an in my pocket.

How many people will do this?

And what great reward is for the one who guides others to this idea!What can you do in one minute?

As usual this article really made me ponder on how I waste my time...now the trick is to actually do something about it!

Anyway dear readers, that’s all I can think of right now. Let me sleep a little bit, maybe I’ll think of something else to say.

Take care, and please except my apology for the long gap of “no pink hyper blogging”!

~Pink Gerbera~

P.S. Sorry to all my fellow bloggers (Umm Mahtab, princess, Mayya, Dana etc) whose blogs I usually leave comments at but haven’t of late, I’ve read them and they’re great I’ll drop by soon!

2005-11-29T00:39:00.000-08:00

~This is the duty of our generation as we enter the twenty-first century -- solidarity with the weak, the persecuted, the lonely, the sick, and those in despair. It is expressed by the desire to give a noble and humanizing meaning to a community in which all members will define themselves not by their own identity but by that of others.~

-Elie Wiesel

~"Shall I not inform you of a better act than fasting, alms, and prayers? Making peace between one another: enmity and malice tear up heavenly rewards by the roots"~

-The Prophet Muhammad (Peace be Upon Him)

~"Shall I not inform you of a better act than fasting, alms, and prayers? Making peace between one another: enmity and malice tear up heavenly rewards by the roots"~

-The Prophet Muhammad (Peace be Upon Him)

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Salam!

Tonight I watched two very interesting documentaries done for “Knowledge Network” which is a Canadian based channel. Anyway the two documentaries are part of a series known as

Both documentaries were very interesting and both equally got my thinking cap going.

The first one was about a school which was well known for it’s violent reputation. It documented the journey of around 6 students, and 4 teaching staff, as they worked to change the school around. Basically it suffered from severe bullying issues.

The second one was called “Angry Girls” and it documented five girls, living either in the ghetto of Toronto or serving time in a juvenile detention center for various crimes. It followed the five young women as they discussed why they are so angry and therefore turn to violent, or drastic measures in order to get by and deal. As well it documented their growth, as they began to come to grips with what they were/are doing.

Both stories were very different but they both had one very important component which helped these youth move towards a more positive light. That glue, so to speak, is the simple fact that there were a few people who cared enough to make a difference. A few people that decided to put up with all the crap and fight for these people’s future.

In the first documentary, the reason that the students were so wild, and disrespectful was generally due to the pressures they either deal with at home, or from school, by bottling up their emotions they begin to show them in different ways. For example, by fighting other students, teasing, bad mouthing the teachers…etc.

What they did to solve this was they devised a team of “mediators” which were students and teachers that volunteered their time in order to mediating between students in an argument. They taught the mediators how to get to the bottom of people arguments with out actually interfering, (i.e. breaking up a fist fight). They would schedule a meeting and sit the two or more students down, and then they would speak to them, and let them speak to each other. It worked out rather good, let’s also keep in mind that this is a junior high/elementary school.

Another way of solving the problem was by letting the teachers concentrate on the students working together as teams. By talking to the students about respecting each other, and if they didn’t they got in trouble.

The school had a tough new principle who enforced the law and didn’t discriminate. However, though she was tough she was also very outgoing with the students. After months of working on disciplinary problems they began organizing school activities that would keep the students working as one. They did fun activities to reward them for their good behaviour.

If a student got out of hand, that student was removed from the school with a suspension, and if they committed an offence again they were expelled. This actually helped quite a bit, because with those students gone, the others didn’t feel so intimidated which helped relax the environment a little.

As the documentary progressed you got to see students who initially were troublesome become more involved and friendly. It was actually very nice. However, what also happened half way through was that the provincial government was threatening the educational budget by downsizing it with a twenty million dollar budget cut. This was very pivotal for the story because with this some of the teachers jobs were threatened, and for the most part those teachers were the ones that were helping make a difference. The principle and staff then had to start putting about 75% of their time and energy in to working understaffed, and with less money.

During this time the students began to recoil back to their old ways, because they couldn’t understand why the teachers suddenly lost interest in them. In the end all worked out, and many of the students documented have gone on to do very good in high school. Alhamduillah. But what this story showed me is that the saying “It takes a village to raise a child” is really fundamental, in raising the youth of tomorrow.

What many people seem to forget is that those delinquents are their future, and if they don’t have any structure, or moral up bringing then what do expect will happen to you? So perhaps instead of everyone always worrying about number one, we should just take a few moments to think about why the youth is how they are. One can not entirely blame them, they only do what they know after all.

The second documentary was actually very sad to watch. The girls documented were basically around the ages of 15-17 so they were still quite young, but the things they have gone through and the attitudes formed from such is just crazy.

They all live beneath the poverty line, and they all live in tough neighborhoods where survival of the fittest is key. For many of them, they don’t have any one to turn to but themselves, so they start doing what their “boys” do to stay alive. (i.e. Selling drugs, joining a gang etc.)

They beat up girls, they harass their parents, they take drugs, they are lost, but tough as nails. I tell you, seeing what they live in and such is just crazy, I couldn’t even imagine. Alhamduillah is all I can say, ALHAMDUILLAH!

However, through it all there are a few people who want to help. For example, there is a woman who volunteers time (she’s a peer councilour) to help them deal with their anger. She hold anger management groups, and there the girls talk about the fact that they deal with so much, they bottle it all up, and so when they explode they take it out drastically. They help each other out. There’s another woman who has a group of girls in which they get together and simply talk. They do activities together in order to stay off the street. For example, they took a road trip to Chicago where they met up with the girls group of another development and there they walked around the neighbourhoods to see how they live, and what they can do to stay on the right path.

In the end because of these outlets they stayed and still struggle to stay on that path. Because they have those people there for them, they feel better, they view the world a little differently. They see how what they are doing has no substance, and that to dwell on the pass only drags you down, what one must dwell on is what they will make of themselves.

Looking at these documentaries it really makes me see how out of touch lots of society is. We’ve in definition, become very greedy, very…selfish. We all have our struggles, both internally and externally but maybe the result of some of our external struggles is do to our “me me me” factor? We can see that simply by looking at the destruction of what once was a community.

True there are a lot of sick people out there, but does that mean we should just stand by and watch? No, our youth… that’s who we should start concentrating on, and that all starts in the home.

This documentary is also one of those things that really makes you appreciate all that you have, and I mean everything!

Do you ever wonder why we aren’t more thankful? Or why we need to see others suffer to realize what we’ve got? Don’t you ever find that sad?

I do, I find it sad that in order to feel grateful we have to see what others don’t have. But sometimes maybe we should look beyond the material aspect of “lucky” and more on aspects that aren’t so…in your face. For example, waking up in the morning, and being able to see the sun rise, or the clouds in the sky. To be able to see the colours around us, as the season’s change, or after a storm and a rainbow comes out. To hear the sweet melodies of the birds on a spring morning? To be able to breath without difficulty the cool air on a winter’s day. Are you ever thinking about the fact that you get to enjoy those glorious things, and that many would die to be able too.

It’s so hard sometimes to really see our blessings. Life is difficult, and it is filled with daily challenges and tests, but taking a moment to see what truly counts and what Allah has blessed us with, now that helps us get on with our day.

So before you go to bed, just take a few seconds to look back on everything that day. Were happy at all? Is there anything you are thankful for? If you can’t think of the obvious try and think of something less obvious…like getting the chance to wake up the next morning and have a chance to improve yourself, or do something good.

Whatever it is, say Alhamduillah (Praise be to Allah) or if you aren’t Muslim just say Thank you!

May you all have better days, and may you all find the time to smile and make a difference to those around you!

Take care.

~Pink Gerbera~

A Beautiful Article...Makes You Think A Little Which Never Hurt!

2005-11-27T21:37:00.000-08:00

Salam!

I was reading this beautiful article on a forum and thought that you may like to read it as well. I hope you enjoy! ;)

Take care
~Pink Gerbera~

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Your last moments…

Brothers and Sisters, how do you want to spend your last moments?

Do you want to spend them talking on the phone wondering what your friends have said about you, craving each compliment and pathetically searching for popularity. Have you ever longed to be popular with Allah? If Allah loves a slave, He calls Jibril and says “I love so and so…LOVE HIM!” That’s not it, then everyone on earth begins to loves you. Allah has given you a painless way into the crowd so drop the phone and the phoniness. Be a bit real and realistic - pick up the Quran. Your friend, the one you spent hours talking to, emailing, and calling, weren’t able to explain things to you.

You need explanations and Allah explains:

“We showed him the Way: whether he be grateful or ungrateful (rests on his will)”(Surat Al Insan, verse 3)

Which one of them are you?

Do you want to spend your last moments remembering Allah in solitude, shedding a tear or two for His sake in your room, in your car, at work, with your family, in school, while exercising, or would you rather be the one who is always being remembered? It upsets you when you’re not recognized, doesn’t it? It disheartens you when you step in a congregation and you are not the center of attention.

Do you want to spend your last moment hoping that you were someone you couldn’t be? Why do that to yourself? If you remember Allah, He remembers you…it's that simple. This life is full of irony. We have learned through our hard experiences that most people are a disappointment; yet, we continue to seek their appreciation, and we know that Allah is grateful to those who render to His wishes; yet, we STILL continue to ignore HIM. The Irony of life is unbelievable.

Now, do you want to spend your last moments being upset with your brother or sister? Resenting the days you spent with him or her and hoping that you never see them in your life again. Do you want to spend your last moment being resentful and bitter? Is it possible to dispose the animosity in your heart and replace it with forgiveness? Don’t you wish to leave this world free, empty, and with a clear conscious - or, do you just want to be like that? Are you stubborn? Look into your heart right now, why aren’t you forgiving? How exactly do you want to spend your last moments?

Do you want to spend them in prostration? Do you know that ALLAH might take your life when you are down on the ground and grant you a true blessing, wouldn't it be? Imagine meeting Allah while in prostration. Again, do you want to meet Allah while in the state of fasting? Imagine meeting Allah and telling Him that you refrained from food and bad behavior in desperate hopes of getting closer to Him. But reality tells us that people like to spend their last moments laughing and only if they knew. Some would like to spend their last moment listening to music, perhaps a song, and consider that you might meet Allah and you were dancing to a song. We seek refuge in Allah from the evil of our selves.

Some like spending their last moments being lazy and others like to watch movies. Imagine dying while watching a movie, especially if you were inspured by it or if you were caught in an indecent scene and BOOM!! Death!! What will you say to Allah when your only source of inspiration were movie actors and cereal figures but it wasn't the Quran! It wasn't your Prophet, peace be upon him, the man sent as a mercy. It is not uncommon that many don't know why he is a mercy. It can only be felt by a person who lives his life.

So tell me dear brother or sister, how do you want to spend your last moments?Look at the clock. These are your last moments and we're counting.

The Prophet, peace be upon him, said:

“Whoever says Laa ilaaha Ill-Allah, seeking the Countenance of Allah thereby, and that is the last of his deeds, will enter Paradise. Whoever gives charity and that is the last of his deeds will enter Paradise”
Narrated by Imam Ahmad, classed as Saheeh by Al-Albani.

Hasan Al Basri, rahimahu allah, said:

“The soul of the son of Adam will depart this life with three sorrows: for not having his fill, for not reaching he hoped for and for not preparing well for what he is going to face”

Source: http://www.uponsunnah.com/forum/showthread.php?t=2315

The Force Is With You

2005-11-27T14:51:00.000-08:00

Salam!

It is official…People, I am a complete GEEK!

Now, say what you want (in this case think what you want) but I will gladly pledge that I am a total, pink, hyper, GEEK!

I am sure you are wondering why the heck I would be making a post about being a geek, I mean what substance does such a blog entail, but trust me when I tell you what I am about to tell you, you’ll freak! Honestly…you will. Although that really depends on how you feel about what I am about to say, then perhaps you will not freak. So be it…but I freaked.

Ok, now to where I begin to possibly make sense…

I, dear readers, have never been a Star War’s fan. I mean sure I’ve watched the movies like 20 times, but not because I wanted to, but because I am the proud sister of a Star War’s Fan Freak! The coolest guy out there may I add. Anyway, so since he is the oldest, he had dibbs on what we watched on our weekends –remember we were lil gaffers- and that usually was Star War’s – in my other brother’s case it was Indiana Jones, another favorite- but even though with all this “viewing” of the movies I never was a fan.

Until…..

….. now.

I’ll be honest I wasn’t a huge fan of episodes I, and II (but they had substance so it’s all good) so they sort of made me go all “ugh, star wars.” Then not to long ago I watched the third episode, “Revenge of the Sith” which was the best of the newer episodes. ESPECIALLY, when Anakin Skywalker becomes…Darth Vadar!! When he is completely adorned in his “famous” outfit, and he has that really awesome voice, that everyone tries to imitate. Anywho, so that one really got me in to Star Wars because FINALLY all of them made sense. Why Anakin went to the dark side? How Anakin was still good? How princess Leia and Luke were related? Everything. So I rented them…all of them, and I enjoyed a night of Star Wars.

The next day I spoke a lot about it, and me and my trusty brother had an interesting convo about how Anakin really in the end fulfilled the prophecy and not Luke. Anyway before I go off sounding like a total nerd, I think I’ll just get to the exciting part.

ONE of the best things about Star Wars are the light sabers. They are sooo cool, and guess what?

…………..

………….
……………

My brother bought one and they are SOOOOOOOOOOO cool. I mean seriously, they make all the “wooshing” and “washing” sounds that they do in the movie. How awesome is that? Seriously, he called me to tell me, so guess what I am doing come Monday….

….That’s right, dear readers I am buying a light saber! The purple Windu one!

Ok, now I think you’ve been indulged enough about my complete geekiness.

Take care!

~Pink Gerbera~

P.S. Harry Potter and Star Wars have a load of similarities…Star Wars is better. Sorry potter fans!

P.P.S. I really don’t watch as much TV as it sounds like. :P

Potter and Candy....hmmmm

2005-11-23T21:55:00.000-08:00

Salam!

So on Monday I went to watch "Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire" ....It was definitely interesting. It was my favority book of the series, but to be honest the movie wasn't as good (what else is new). Seriously though, if I was a little kid I think I would get scared they should maybe raise the ratings. There was this little girl in front of me who kept covering her eyes with her jacket.

If you read the book then you'll know what I am talking about.

These are the things that I was looking forward to but weren't as good:

- The quditch world cup

- The triwizard tournament scenarios

- the yule ball

However, you can't fit like a 500 page book filled with vivid detail, in to a 2 hour movie without missing or compressing some things.

Ah well....the only other movie I am looking forward to watching is the Chronicles of Narnia.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Gelatin...sucks! Honestly, why...WHY....must all these darned candy makers put gelatin in candy. Skittles, starburst, gummies....COME ON PEOPLE! Ok technically that may be a good thing, you know if you want to be healthy, but I mean if you like a little candy once in a while it doesn't hurt.

Especially when your favorite candy is Sour Skittles...or one minute, tropical is pretty good too....but so is the berry one....OK! I need to go to the middle east or something and get some HALAL ones.

However, seeing as I am not tooooooooo desperate I have found a VERY good replacement, with out gelatin. HALAL, and yummier.

Are you anxious to know what they are...................................

..................

I bet you are!

................................

Keep reading...............

....................................

They are the FAMOUS, Jelly Belly's!!!! SOUR Jelly belly's. SOOOO goood.

So if you have them near you I would suggest going and getting them!
And my dear Um Mahtab.....you'll love them!!! :P

take care.

~Pink gerbera~

P.S. I know this isn't long.... :P Oh and thanks Mayya for the idea...lol. ;)

Congrats BIBAH!!!!

2005-11-12T00:23:00.000-08:00

"There is only one pretty child in the world, and every mother has it."

~Chinese Proverb~

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Salam

I dedicate this post to one of my dearest friends...Um Mahtab and her new sweetie ********!

CONGRATULATIONS MY DEAREST TWIN!!!!

I pray that insha'Allah she will grow to be a wonderful and pious woman, and that you may grow close and strong together...ameen!

You're such a wonderful woman Um Mahtab, and I pray that achieve all that you want by the grace of Allah (s.w.t)...ameen.

Take care sweetie, and give my niece ;)******** all my love and a HUGE kiss from moi.

All my love!

Fi Aman Allah,

~Pink Gerbera~

Edited: Seeing as Um Mahtab doesn't have her babies name on her post I will remove it from mine.

Popsicle Toes

2005-11-09T23:25:00.000-08:00

Oh Winter! ruler of the inverted year,...I crown thee king intimate delights, Fireside enjoyments, home-born happiness, And all the comforts that lowly roof of undisturb'd Retirement, and the hour Of long uniterrupted evening, know.

~William Cowper~ (1731-1800)
~*~*~*~*~*~

Brrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr....

....that is all I can say.

Now, I must admit that most of the time I quite like the snow, because sometimes it can be rather beautiful, you know when you go out for a walk and the tree's look all white and frosted. I don't know, I suppose I try and enjoy it because every season brings about enchanting changes. However, though I like the snow, I DO NOT like the cold which tends to accompany it.

In fact.........I hate the cold. Well, maybe hate is too strong of a word, maybe I should say that I...do not enjoy it gleefully. Especially when it is windy, and I happen to be sitting in front of the window browsing on my computer.

I swear that I am not exaggerating when I say that two nights ago my toes were popsicles! Honestly, I could not warm them to save my life, even after going to bed, they remained frozen allll night. It wasn't until I put my feet in to warm water that they finally began to defrost, they tingled for hours after! So bring the snow anytime, but please, must the cold come with it???

I suppose in that matter I have no say, so I'll just say Subhana Allah.

Now, my family doesn't really have "winter blood" in them -even though we live in a country that sees snow and cold about 65% of the year- so for them all winter brings is a high heating bill, and icy roads. It is because of this that I am determined to take full advantage of the winter this year. What I mean to do is to actually enjoy it!

Here is my plan:

Buy a crazy carpet, find the biggest hill, make some crazy jumps and crazy carpet down it, oh about a gazillion times
Build a snow fort, fully equipped with a deadly supply of snow balls in case of a possible war...hahaha beware young ones
Build a snow man, ....heck make that a snow family equipped with their own home...or maybe, a snow man village! OH!!! I like that idea.
Learn to snowboard
Clean the fire place, get a killer recipe for hot chocolate, buy some huge pillows and study the Qur'aan in front of it!
Go skating....

Ok for the most part I will be bringing back the 7 year old in me, which I'll be honest is something I am looking terribly forward to. I mean, why should I be all bummed out about how crappy the weather is when I can actually be enjoying it. I haven't been on a crazy carpet for over five years but I actually miss it a lot, I remember I could spends hours...Literally HOURS, just going up and down hills.

HA! I bet all of you living in your warm "no winter" countries wish you could be here now! Well don't worry I'll post some pictures to make sure you envy the winter... oh and of course get to see how much fun I am having enjoying the winter!!

Well I think that for now, that should do it.

Adieu and till next time,

~Pink Gerbera~

7 Things

2005-11-09T01:05:00.000-08:00

I feel horrible because I was tagged by Um Mahtab a while back and I hadn't posted! So I thought I would do so quickly before going to bed...

7 Things

7 people I admire
My mother
Muhammad (s.a.w.s)
My father, and uncles Ali and Lahussaine
My friends ;)
Maryam bint Imraan (as)
Those who take the time to learn about Islam and for it are very knowledgeable
Ayoub (as) {actually all prophets but Ayoub for his patience and strength!}

7 things I plan to do within the next year (inshaAllah)
get in to uni
learn some more patience
blog more then once a month
finish Qur'aan
learn at least 8 new surrah's
learn to bake bread
Relax and do well in my classes

7 books I love (besides the Qur'an)
Pride and Prejudice
A Great and Terrible Beauty
Glass Lake and Tara Road
Summer Light
Quotes of Muhammad
Idiots Guide to Islam
Mansfield Park

7 places I want to visit (besides Hajj, Medina, etc)
Pakistan
Iran
Cambodia
Syria
Malaysia
Ireland
Nova Scotia...or Rhode Island

7 places I've already been
Morocco
France
Germany
Spain
The Netherlands
Vancouver
Montreal

7. smell's I love
Lilacs
Fresh Baked bread
After a storm
Fresh baked cinnamon buns
Vanilla
Fruit punch
Lavender

That's it...I tag Dana!

Adieu

~Pink Gerbera~

Books and Flowers

2005-11-08T23:32:00.000-08:00

Deep in their root, all flowers keep the light.

~Theodore Roethke~

(And here is a Pink Gerbera Lucky Fatima! :D)

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The person, be it gentleman or lady, who has not pleasure in a good novel, must be intolerably stupid.

~Jane Austen~ (1775-1817) Northanger Abbey

(Don't be insulted if you don't read, I do not find you intolerably stupid, rather *Catherine Morland does.)

~*~*~*~*~*~*

As much as I love to write, I love to read more. Therefore I was thinking earlier today about where I may discuss the books I read. Many of my friends either read little or read nothing of that which I do, which renders book discussions a tad bit difficult. So, I thought that perhaps a good place to post a book review, would be on here. Reading, I often find is one of the best sources of amusement, however I have met many who disagree.

For example: My brother would rather watch a movie based on a book then read the book itself. Why? Simply because a movie finishes in two hours whereas a book takes a couple of days. Personally I find much more amusement in reading then I do in watching TV, simply because I would rather create the world in which the book encompasses in my head, rather then have someone else do so. No, I thank you, but I find that Exercising my imagination more worth my while. Honestly one thing that saddens me quite a bit is when I ask a child to convey to me a story or draw a picture and what I get is something from a TV show! If anyone should be enjoying the vastness of ones imagination it should be children.

However before I find myself straying quite far off my intended path I think I shall post my review!

The Rule of Four:

By: Ian Caldwell and Dustin Thomason

~From the back of the Book~

An ivy league murder, a mysterious coded manuscript, and the secrets of a Renaissance prince collide memorably in THE RULE OF FOUR -- a brilliant work of fiction that weaves together suspense and scholarship, high art and unimaginable treachery.

It''s Easter at Princeton. Seniors are scrambling to finish their theses. And two students, Tom Sullivan and Paul Harris, are a hair''s breadth from solving the mysteries of the Hypnerotomachia Poliphili--a renowned text attributed to an Italian nobleman, a work that has baffled scholars since its publication in 1499. For Tom, their research has been a link to his family''s past -- and an obstacle to the woman he loves. For Paul, it has become an obsession, the very reason for living. But as their deadline looms, research has stalled -- until a long-lost diary surfaces with a vital clue. And when a fellow researcher is murdered just hours later, Tom and Paul realize that they are not the first to glimpse the Hypnerotomachia ''s secrets.

Suddenly the stakes are raised, and as the two friends sift through the codes and riddles at the heart of the text, they are beginning to see the manuscript in a new light--not simply as a story of faith, eroticism and pedantry, but as a bizarre, coded mathematical maze. And as they come closer and closer to deciphering the final puzzle of a book that has shattered careers, friendships and families, they know that their own lives are in mortal danger. Because at least one person has been killed for knowing too much. And they know even more.

From the streets of fifteenth-century Rome to the rarified realm of the Ivy League, from a shocking 500 year-old murder scene to the drama of a young man''s coming of age, THE RULE OF FOUR takes us on an entertaining, illuminating tour of history--as it builds to a pinnacle of nearly unbearable suspense.

~My Review~

This book has been compared the Da Vinci Code, however I would advice one not to go in with that perception. The Da Vinci Code and The Rule of Four are quite different.

I found that the beginning tended to drag on for a while, but after one gets past that the book becomes quite interesting, however that doesn't change the fact that if you aren't patient enough to get through the first 6 chapters without being somewhat bored you will put it down.

Two things I greatly enjoyed about this book were 1) its awesome character development and 2) the vast sphere of knowledge and imagination that went in to this book.

I am a reader who really likes to know the characters, I like to feel like I know them. I like it when they have pasts, experiences, stories etc. it makes them all the more real, as well as the fact that you may better see the story through their eyes. That is one of the reasons why I found this book to be so good, because as it progresses you get attached the characters and their friendships.

I am also a reader who like to learn whilst reading. Just because the book isn't a 500 page text book doesn't mean I should waste my time learning NOTHING! I can say that for this book I learned many things. I am a lover of history, literature and science and these were all things displayed in this novel. For example, I never knew about any book called the Hypnerotomachia Poliphili which is actually quite an interesting part of western literature. I love novels that make me want to research things after. It may not be as vital as the lessons of the Qur'aan or Sunnah but they are lessons anyway. I was very impressed by the vastness of these young author's knowledge.

If you are looking for a murder mystery, I would suggest you pick up another novel because though murder is a part of this novel it is only a subplot, which I personally thought needed some work. However if you just want a good ol' puzzle, this is it, because the main focus of the book is unlocking the secret of another book.

I truly enjoyed the journey, the characters/their struggles, and the fact that I learned many interesting tid bits, which is why I give this novel a 3.5 out of 5 pink gerbera's!

I hope you enjoy, and if you do read it please tell me what you thought.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Till next time, take care and God Bless.

~Pink Gerbera~

*Catherine Morland is the main character of Northanger Abbey.

Espresso, Espresso!!

2005-11-08T00:50:00.001-08:00

Wow today I am in a mood to write, write, write, and I hold the double shot espresso I had after 10 pm completely responsible for it.

You see my brother has a thing for espresso...make that caffeine...period! But he especially has a soft spot for espresso. It all started when he needed a "WAKE ME UP" when he use to work at 5 am. During his break he would chug TWO double shot's of espresso! Yes, he is one crazy man. Anyway, that was when he worked at an establishment that was actually supplied with an espresso machine. These day's, working in the family business he needn't wake so early, therefore the need for "espresso" isn't so strong. Instead, we would go to starbucks after work and get our fix...

...however I am not a big COFFEE person so I technically don't need a "fix".

Anyway, since starbucks is so far out of our way, and the fact that soon he will have to be waking up early again he had been in much yearning for an Espresso machine.

Guess what he got for Eid?

That's correct...an Espresso machine!

You can JUST imagine the fun he's been having with his new "toy". Yes, correct again...LOADS! Honestly, one comes in to work and he asks, "Can I make you an espresso?" It's really quite funny, i keep telling him that his calling is not with food (he is a chef) but with a nice coffee bean plantation in Columbia. I think he quite likes that idea...

Anyway, so since I tend to be quite the procrastinator I decided to leave some homework to the last minute. I know....mothers out there, scold away! Well I had been working on it all day and have not yet finished, therefore before coming home to finish I asked him to make me an espresso. There are two things (I do not know there names) one for a single shot and one for a double, well kind brother that I have decided to make me a double. MAN!!!!!!! Who drinks this stuff...honestly? People drink this quite often...why? Why would you do that to yourself?? Seriously, I think I might have died if he hadn't put all the milk with it. Maybe I am just an amateur...

Anyhow, since then I can not sleep! Which, in accordance to the incomplete homework still flying around my room is probably not such a bad thing, concentrating on my actual homework...now that is where the challenge truly is.

Ah well, live and learn...the sad thing is I will probably submit myself to this again tomorrow night.

Till then.

~Pink Gerbera~

P.S. I almost forgot this vital information. If you haven't tried a Java Chip Frappachino from Starbucks please do so now! RIGHT NOW! They are the only good thing that Starkbucks has to offer!

It's has been too long

2005-11-08T00:50:00.000-08:00

Before anything else, I must wish everyone a Belated "Eid Mubarak". Insha'Allah you all had a very nice and blessed day(s)...ameen.

It has been far too long since I last updated this blog. I have been quite busy, which completely sucks. Actually what sucks is taking on a lot of things and then not feeling like doing them! So take all of the things I took on, and mix it with sleep and there is really little time to update. However, I think that I should probably be more faithful to blogging, I mean, naturally there is sooo very much for me to write about...joking!

I've been reading some friends of mine blogs and I'll be honest it made me miss mine. So I will try and think of something to write.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

I'll be honest....I am very sad that Ramadan is over. What makes me even sadder is the fact that I feel I could've done so much better. Do you ever feel like that? Like you could have accomplished so much more? Astigfurillah, I pray Allah (s.w.t) forgives me for being lazy at times. If laziness was a person I think I should really like to shoot it.

It's a horrible little virus that creeps up on you once in a while, and when it attacks...well let's just say the med's take some time to kick in.

Allah is so wonderful, and so it is often that I find myself feeling bad about how I am doing as a "muslim". How my emaan (faith) is doing? They say if you pull to hard on something it will break, sometimes I feel that way about my improvement. Maybe I worry to much, and that's why instead of improving I backslide. No one is perfect, and possibly trying to get there is an obvious reason for why people lose their footing.

I have a lot of hopes and aspirations in reference to my improvement as a Muslim, and I hope that with dua, prayer and time I will slowly find my way to accomplishment...insha'Allah.

I am sure that is why many say that Islam is a way of life, possibly because you find that your whole life you are pushing a little further. It's a process, which only unfolds with time and patience.

I only pray that all of my fellow brother's and sister's will one day, with time achieve that which they are working towards, and that their reward will be Jannah...ameen.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

For right now that is it, I could write more, but I think I shall leave it till tomorrow night, because the rest which I wish to write is irrelevant to this present topic.

Take care.

~Pink Gerbera~

Ramadan

2005-10-05T21:37:00.000-07:00

Assalamu Alaykum,

Ramadan Mubarak to everyone!

It's been a while...Wouldn't you agree? -Don't worry I can't see you shaking your head anyway...but I sense that you all agree-

The thing is, that whenever I come on here I never EVER know what to write. Honestly. Me. Never. It's a travesty especially since I consider myself someone who "likes to write". That's not the sad part, the sad part is that I always have REALLY great -well that might be an exaggeration- things to write about. For example...

*Doing the dishes*

da da da da ...Oh HAHAHAHA that might be interesting to write about. Awesome!!!! Don't forget.

*Five Hours Later While Sitting At Computer*

................................................

See what I mean. So I am sitting there in front of the pretty computer screen and all I can think of is..........

.......nothing!

NOTHING. NOTHING. NOTHING!

So after finding enough time to actually sit down for longer then five minutes I have decided that I may actually have a little something to write about.

Ramadan. It is here. FINALLY! And am I ever excited.

Except that now I need some goals. So while I was browsing through my dear twins blog and saw her "Ramadan Goals" list I thought to myself....

"You really you WRITE down your goals...you know so you DON'T FORGET THEM!!!!"

And so I am stealing.

Actually scratch that -I hate the word stealing- rather I am BORROWING her idea (and what a wonderful idea that was ;) ).

So I have a list, and well actually have always sort of had a list but to true to my style had forgotten it half way through the day. Therefore I cleared the useless "used" up space in my head and decided to lodge this VERY important list in to it so that I wouldn't forget it when I finally found the time to sit down and post it.

Spend more time thinking about how I can improve my emaan.

- Spending less time watching tv, or on the net

- Spending more time reading up on Islam

2. Learning at least 2 short surahs'

- learning one solidly will take a least a week where I am comfortable in my prayer Insha'Allah

3. Finishing the Qur'aan

- this one will take some time BUT I REALLY want to at least finish it ONCE insha'Allah

4. Do more nice things for people

- not complaining, being more grateful for everything and everyone in my life, and trying harder to leave some of the useless habits i have.

I have more goals but they are more life time goals. I am scared however because I always feel that I'll never even reach them a bit. It seems at times that I might see the end of the tunnel and I may leave all those things that drage me down. But then the next thing I know, I am fall back two inches.

There is a place where I want to be. A place with myself where I hope to be. Where I crave to be.

I want to be close to Allah. To just relax and be close to him. To know that I have truly done all I can. I love Allah, but I want to show it more. I know what I can be. I know what I want to be. And insha'Allah one day I'll be there.

Allah knows I am human, and that we allll make mistakes, but I wish I could be stronger and not make as many mistakes! However, I should utilize my time more wisely and so my ultimate goal for this Ramadan is to learn to discipline myself in scheduling my day. To be able to say this is what time I have for leisure...this is what I'll do with it. But also to come out thinking that I at least did my best and that Insha'Allah I still have time to improve.

So on that final note, may you all have a blessed Ramadan, and may you all full fill your goals.

Till next time...adieu.

Sincerely,

~the pink gerbera~

Bollywood...Kyaa?

2005-09-29T22:24:00.000-07:00

Assalamu Alaykum,

Ok so looking back I see that I've been quite lazy thus far in posting or rather updating my blog. Well...I am guilty! But I am also back from my vacation and said that I would post so I decided that I should probably drag my butt to the computer and start typing. And now I am here.

Are you ready to be amazed? (Don't Be... ;)

Bollywood. That's what I feel like talking about because that's what I got in to while on vacation. I went for three weeks to visit my eldest brother, who happens to be quite the bollywood fan. When he moved he couldn't rent any movies from the regular video stores because he didn't have a drivers license from that province. Sooooo, seeing as he could not rent any movies he accidentally found a Hindi movie store where you can buy a DVD for like three bucks. Now considering you pay over three dollars to rent a movie and over twenty to purchase one I would say he got himself a deal...and an addiction.

My older brother has always been the one to really enjoy watching international films. I suppose it never bothered him to read sub-titles. Anyway, while visiting him we really got in to watching bollywood movies.

Well actually my mother really got in to them first. For me it took a little longer.

Each movie is three hours in length and the vast majority are tragic romances. Now there is only so much tears, screaming, and tragedy that I can take...no matter how much estrogen I have, I can only take sooo much drama. So, the first night I watched a movie called "Veer-Zaara" which won best movie of the year. It was quite tragic but naturally ended well. Anyway I don't feel like explaining the whole movie because I tend to give long explanations...which why half of the time my audience fall's asleep or escapes in to foreign lands while I talk.

So Veer-Zaara was quite "emotional" and I suppose that one was good enough for that day, but right after my brother pops in "Devdas" and I swear that I was about to scream...Literally. I couldn't sit through another emotional coaster. Which is why I moaned "You have got to be kidding me..." then I moaned louder and left the room.

I was tired the next day and so I blamed it on the emotional strain I suffered from all the drama from the night before.

For the next few days I settled for the more cheesy "sing-song all movie long" type. That's when I really got in to it. Now most people I've spoken with say that they can't stand the "sing-song" I say...COME ON! It's the best part. With there colorful sari's and there awesome traditional dance.

So now I really like bollywood, and truly and honestly enjoy it a million times more than hollywood. Why? Less sex! More joyous, almost innocent "sing-song" and even just the right amount of drama.

Well I suppose I have sufficiently bored the greater part of those who read this blog, but I just really had to get it out of my system. ;)

Till next time...Adieu.
~The Pink Gerbera~

Friends

2005-09-06T01:12:00.000-07:00

Assalamu Alaykum,

Friends, are some of the most important people in your life. I truly believe that.

Good friends are some of the rarest things, so when you find one...hold tight to them. Everyone has "friends", neigh, I'd say that everyone has acquaintances. But are they truly your friends? Will they help you when you fall? Do they make you smile even when you feel like you could just cry? Do they listen when you have a problem, and then truly try and help?

These are some of the qualities of a Good friend, and they are rare! Because a good friend is someone who you share so much with. A good friend makes you cry, laugh and occasionally scream! They are few but when you find them they are one of the most important things.

Family and friends (besides Allah) are two of the most important thing one can have. More important then the nice BMW or Lake side condo. They share in your sorrows and kick your butt when you are down, because if anything gets you going it's a swift kick in the behind.

So I would like to post this thread and dedicate it to all my friends and family. You mean the world to me, and you always put a smile of my face. Thank you, I love you, and I miss you.

Big thanks to my bestest pal and lost twin...you know who you are! Thank you for the gorgeous work you've done to my blog. It is totally me. ;) Big Kiss and even bigger HUG! Love Yeah.

Fi Aman Allah.
~The Pink Gerbera~

P.S. I will try and blog some interesting things from my recent trip, when I get back to my home port. Till then...

The Curve Ball

2005-09-04T15:20:00.000-07:00

Assalamu Alaykum,

Life...Is full of curve balls. Every once in a while it seems that one is thrown your way to see if you're paying attention. Much like baseball you have two choices...Hit the darned thing out of the ball field, or strike out.

So what do we do when a curve ball is thrown our way? To me, the curve ball is an unexpected test of our patience, strength and faith in Allah (s.w.t). Will we chicken out, freak, or scream causing us to strike out or will we take a deeeeeeeep breath, observe, take in, and cope, thus hitting the darn ball out of the field? Again these are the choices we have in life. Neither is truly wrong but one may be more fitting.

For example, you get much further hitting a home run then striking out. Correct? Yes, but does it mean that striking out is the bad choice? No because like I've mentioned before (another post), there is no such thing as a "bad" or "good" choice, there are just choices. So, when one strikes out the first time...They still have two more chances. This of course is more theoretical, but nonetheless, perhaps after we've cooled down from the initial shock of the curve ball, we may be able to cope, and thus next time hit a home run.

I was recently dealt a curve ball! It was most definitely unexpected, but most usually are. ;) Anyway, I actually surprised myself quite a bit, as I did not cry...nor scream...Nothing, I remained quite cool and relaxed (except perhaps that I was pouting for the first two minutes). I took it in strides, for I understand that everything is in the able hands of Allah Almighty, for truly HE knows what I know not! So if it wasn't suppose to happen, it wasn't suppose to happen. Must I stand around and mope, or cry all day? Heck no! Because in all honesty, what would that accomplish? It most certainly won't make the "ball" change courses and go in the other direction.

We're not perfect beings, and I know that, sometimes we hit a home run and sometimes we don't. Not every ball player has that ability.

Yet, it is nice to look back and see how we reacted when that unexpected thing came flying our way. I see recollecting on our past faults much like a report card. We see what we can improve on...and then we try. :)

Take care.

~Pink Gerbera~

Choices

2005-09-04T01:18:00.000-07:00

Assalamu Alaykum,

In life, we have many choices. Some, naturally are made more complex then others, but in the end we always have many choices to choose from. (Many directions...if you will.) I am not certain whether there is such a thing as a "good" choice and a "bad" choice, to me, you only have "choices". What will come of them, may either be good or bad, most of the time the outcome is what we will make it.

In all honesty, through my observations in my short life, I have found that if you are negative about a certain situation, it will most likely be a negative experience. The same rule applies to that which you are positive about.

Though, as a Muslim I believe that all things are in the hands of the Almighty, I feel that HE has given us the chance to make of it what we want. Will we be negative and make it hell...or will we be positive and try to be happy with our outcome? That is our choice, and also...our test.

So as I was latterly mentioning, we have many choices in life. Will you take the short cut? Or will you work hard and take the long way? Will you....? The answer is up to you, as is the question.

I had a pretty big choice to make lately. I like to think I made the "right" choice, but the "right" choice for me. In the end, its what happens along the way that is more important than the outcome or the start. In my humble opinion anyway.

The journey along the way is truly the eptiome of what will be our outcome. In many ways...it is the sketch of our outcome. It changes us, teaches us things. I suppose that is why life seems one flurry of choices, because life...is a choice, and in the end when we die, it is then that we will know truly...in our hearts whether or not we made the right decision.

Choices...sometimes they make you crazy, and sometimes they're quite refreshing, they challenge you...your spirit, your mind, your strength.

Whatever choice you make next, be sure that in your heart it's the right choice for you!

Take care. And please keep smiling! :)

~ Pink Gerbera ;)

Seasonal Changes

2005-08-29T23:15:00.000-07:00

Assalamu Alaykum,

Today..........was a very beautiful day.

The sun, was shinning golden, and bright in the vast blankets of blue, and puffy clouds. The wind, was a soft breeze, which was more then welcomed, for it made the warm heat of the afternoon more then bearable. However, one thing is for sure, and that is that autumn isn't far away.

The lush green leaves are slowly beginning to make their way down from their temporary posts, while one can feel the change in the current of the weather. The coolness in the breeze, the clouds in the sky, the snow a top the large magnificent moutnains. It's a feeling, sure and true.......summer is near its end.

Many are saddenned by such news, I however welcome it with open arms. There is nothing more beautiful then when the seasons change. In many ways for me it is a sign of life...continuing its cycle. Of Allah...Strong and Powerful, as he artistically changes the environments around us.

Another thing I greatly enjoy about the seasonal changes is that, change...as a whole is a wonderful thing. It keeps us going, it never makes life dull -for the most part- it's a sign...telling us that, "Change is good!" It's a healthy part of our lives.

In short, that is why I love seasonal changes.

Adieu...
~Pink Gerbera~

I am in a terrible rush.....so till another time!

Assalamu Alaykum

2005-08-27T15:19:00.000-07:00

Assalamu Alaykum and Welcome!

I really love to write, so I thought to myself...why not start a blog? I wish to enlighten people a little bit about Islam, because...it's my life. Along the way I will also post random musings because like I have already mentioned I like to write. I hope you enjoy yourself...look around...relax...and insha'Allah not get to bored! ;)

~Pink Gerbera~